r2i forum

Just curious: why does everyone shirk away from doing simple housework when back in India? Why can't the family members clean their house and dishes as I am sure they did abroad?

We are planning on getting by without any household help. Why? First, I would feel foolish sitting and waiting for someone to come and clean my dishes when I can easily do them myself as I do now in the US. Something in me just wouldn't allow me to act like I were better then another human being in the sense that I sit there and they work for me unless I were real old. Secondly, I read all these horror stories about how maids don't show up and so forth. On my recent visit to India, I was amused at how my relatives were running around hoping to hire a temporary maid for the day when the regular one didn't show up. They spent 2-4 hours each day on this rather than having several able bodied men and women wash a few dishes in 20 minutes.

Lastly, it would be more of hassle for me to wait and plan my day around a maid's schedule. I might wake up and want to go somewhere bu the maid's coming at a certain time would tie me down. In addition, it is unhygienic to let dishes pile up, often on the floor overnight while waiting for the maid to come next day. Much easier and cleaner to quickly do your own chores.

Kudos to you !! If the kitchen setup is like in the west, and water is at the sink, it ought to be easy to stand and do it. One can also dry vacuum first (if the electricity supply is steady) and then attach a wet-cloth behind the vacuum and walk it around.

Absolutely!!! you can do all the chores yourself. In the US we would do the cleaning/vaccuming of the house/bathrooms in the weekends. The dishes would be loaded in the dishwasher throughout the day and would be switched on in the night before going to bed. The clothes would be done as and when the basket got loaded and would be folded and put away as a group effort by all members of the family, kids included.

I have r2ied and my thoughts were exactly the same as yours before I landed here. Was without any domestic help for a while, then my inlaws moved in with us and they wanted to keep a maid, so I said ok to that and had a lady come in for doing the vessels and sweeping and mopping the floor. Then I started working here thinking it would be like my 8:00 to 5:00 job in the US, that left me with plenty of time in the evenings to do all the household chores and still spend quality time with the kids, but unfortunately that is not how companies work in India. I am out of the house for more than 13 hours everyday and I am bone tired by the time I reach back home in the evening, thanks to the stress at work and the long commute. Same thing with husband too,he comes home even later than me, so he is of no help here. And after coming home in the evening or rather night, when I have to make a choice between spending time with the kids or doing household work which one do you think I would prefer. So now we have extended the maid's duty to hanging up and folding the clothes as well.

Now for people scrambling to find a temp if the maid does not show up can you imagine how the dishes in the sink pile up by evening. In the US we would keep loading the dishes in the dishwasher and it would be out of sight, but here that is not the case. Also looking at the amount of dust that gets collected on everything by evening, it is not possible to live for a day without dusting and cleaning the floors. You only have so much place to hang up your clothes for them to dry, imagine you don't do this for a day and the next day you have double the quantity of clothes, where are you going to hang them up.

Anyways, that said I don't really sweat if the maid does not show up one day, I only ask her to inform me in advance so that I can prepare myself for it.
I still would like to keep my kids grounded, so the kids and I still wash our plates and cups right after we use them, but I can't expect the same from others in the house.

To each his own, what works for some may not work for others.

The big difference between US and here is the amount of dust. In India you have to dust, sweep, mop everyday. If you are at home and have the inclination, you can probably manage without a maid. But, if you are both working then it is hard to factor in time for such chores every day.

Personally, I find life is easier with a maid so long as you don't get too worked up about her missing a few days -- just like us they get sick, have family obligations, etc. If its a day or two, we do what's essential ourselves. When she took a week off and our folks were visiting, we did look for a temp -- it took about two minutes to tell the watchman in our complex that we could use some help and a bai showed up a few hours later. We paid a daily wage to come at a fixed time for a week and there was no issue.

Since i have landed here in India i have enjoyed having maid.I dont have to waste my time doing chores..i get more time to myself doing things i really enjoy...and yes it also means i dont have to cut my time with girls with the chores as an excuse..its really nice when you go out and do what you have to do and come back home tired( the traffic is killer in India)to clean,sorted house..is a great relief..another thing is there are always guests in the house ..while one has to oversee the cooking, its nice not worry about cleaning pots and pan after dinner and one can enjoy the conversation without thinking about cleaning up...

There are times when the maids dont turn up..i have dishwasher and washing machine and a mop and husband...no worries!!..

My maid turns up at 7am so i dont have to plan anything around her schedule..in this part of world forget shops even bank opens at 10am...even interviews get scheduled in the evening so i have not encountered any problems in that respect.I can do whatever i want once she is gone by 8.30am.

But having said that once i was dragged to kamgar Mahila union as one of my sister maid made some allegations against us...it took us week to sort that mess.There is always somebody at their house who has cancer, or is getting beaten up or divorced or having an affair, or having a baby or not having a baby or getting married or have met with accident or need to go to dentist,orthopedic, gynecologist, urologist,heart surgeon, beautician( yes,they are always in need of waxcination.).somebody very close to them who lives thousand miles away dies and then with all these excuses they demand money and abscond.

being in India and not having a maid is a lot like going to vegas and not playing slots.

You can probably manage without it but you miss out on the fun bit. you know the odds are stacked against you but you play all the same.

Right now I spend considerable time on the phone with my wife talking about the maids personal life, how the 2nd maid bitches bout the first one, sometimes the driver throws in a tit bit or 2 about both the maids. Our maids are also nature people. Their excuses are very topical and season related. when it rains, it is usually like a part of their house is washed out. Now if you did all your things on your own, you would miss out the anger of them not showing up on the day you need them, but then the roller coaster becomes happy when they actually show up. When they dont actually show up my wife sends detectives (like the dhobi) to the basti to see whats going on, derives great pleasure from her jasusi work.

For my wife maid is a part of our R2I plan, infact she calls them angels.

RK

I am also someone who feels proud in doing chores myself. I fail to understand why people shy away from doing basic things which are essential part of life.. Washing dishes, washing their own car, brooming the house, laundary/ironing etc etc.

That said, when I return back, I will definitely hire people for these.

Reason?

Turning these people away from work means turning off the gas stove in their house.

These people and their kids do not aspire for iPads or PS3. These people are not trying to catch up to get the "latest model of LED TV with 3D". All these people are hoping for is that they can cook 2 meals a day.

We talk aloud about the boom of Indian economy. However, we forget that these people and their profession is a big part of Indian economy.
It is a different thing to shy away from doing such chores and hire help for them. However, it is entirely different story to get help to support their living. In this case, you would treat them with respect and would be willing to do the work in their absense.

2 cents

The cost of household help is significantly high in the west and hence DIY became popular as a necessity of life. In India( even in Marxist Kerala) ,the housemaid, dhobi etc do not exactly rip you off if one is upper middle class which is at least what most of us will be now in India. My philosophy is that I can achieve other stuff when the maid handles her stuff and improve the quality of my life. The mistake probably is becoming too dependent on them that the day they dont turn up its like the sky has fallen on one's head!

gwldaddu;366854I am also someone who feels proud in doing chores myself. I fail to understand why people shy away from doing basic things which are essential part of life.. Washing dishes, washing their own car, brooming the house, laundary/ironing etc etc.

That said, when I return back, I will definitely hire people for these.

Reason?

Turning these people away from work means turning off the gas stove in their house.

...........
2 cents

Rest assured that you are NOT going to turn-off stoves in any "poor" maid's home if you don't choose to employ him/her. You will be surprised how much demand there is for a good, honest, prompt and regular maids. Now, if you don't mind a maid who yells, steals, comes late and irregular, then yeah, you will have the pleasure of keeping her stove turned-on. For every one else, it is often the master that feels the gratitude when the maid shows up for work.

sumachechi;366903The cost of household help is significantly high in the west and hence DIY became popular as a necessity of life. In India( even in Marxist Kerala) ,the housemaid, dhobi etc do not exactly rip you off if one is upper middle class which is at least what most of us will be now in India. My philosophy is that I can achieve other stuff when the maid handles her stuff and improve the quality of my life. The mistake probably is becoming too dependent on them that the day they dont turn up its like the sky has fallen on one's head!

I don't think it is to do with the cost of household help only. It is easier in the west to clean the house yourself. Like, we can manage with vacuuming and even dusting only once a week. Dish washer is used regularly. Cleaning bathrooms is much easier since the floor is always dry. Cleaning the house takes less time in the west (or U.S.). Generally, the whole house including kitchen and bathrooms has a/c, so even in the hot summer months, cleaning the house or doing the dishes is not exhausting. If I lived in India without hired help, I wouldn't be able to post as much in forum, for example. Or spend quality time with the kids. But I've never managed a house independently in India, so maybe reality is different.

vizagdesi;366929... Now, if you don't mind a maid who yells, steals, comes late and irregular, then yeah, you will have the pleasure of keeping her stove turned-on. For every one else, it is often the master that feels the gratitude when the maid shows up for work.

:emdgust: I thought....... Never mind! :)