r2i forum

:) Before one packs up to return home one has to figure out how one will deal with the daily aggravation that is so much part of existence in India, things such as electricity blinking out on you several times a day especially in the summer or animals defecating on your front door or people banging in your car at least once a month or piles of garbage everywhere you go.

One option is of course not to return to India if you are so bothered about these things. Another option is to have a strong religious belief that it is all God's will and there is nothing we humans can do about these things. One can also develop tunnel vision where you expend your energies and thoughts in what strictly concerns you only such as how to climb the corporate ladder or how to beat the taxman or the other investors in the stock market or other players in the real estate game. One of my returned relatives wants to build a cocoon of prosperity around himself whereby he wants to find a house and work in an area where only the government and foreign dignitaries live and which is therefore free of potholes, waterlogging, garbage, traffic jams and crime etc. Then there is always the option to run back to America, Australia, England or wherever we started out from.

One cannot help the feeling though that it is indeed a rare privilige and lot of good fortune for an ordinary middle class Indian to have lived in America and seen for one's own self what is possible for human societies to acheive in terms of organizing themselves to improve their conditions and work for the greater good of everyone. If one cannot bring back to India a different perspective on India's problems then one has missed the point of having lived in America. I personally feel that it makes no sense to return to India unless we can bring the benefits of our learning, experiences and resources to bear on the problems that face our people everyday.

In this context I humbly and respectfully invite the returned and wannabee returning indians to learn more about an important initiative by visiting www.bdpindia.net and posting your thoughts ideas and offers of help.

Happy surfing and safe journey home.

We cannot even leave behind a silly thing like caste, we carry it to America (just check the Indian associations and you'll know) and bring it back to India...Given that background, I am not sure "bring back to India a different perspective on India's problems" is going to happen.

Most of us are not social reformers or don't have the time for being a reformer, so yes, we might exhibit this "perspective" and apply it to some of the problems (for e.g., our attitude toward servants might be totally different after America) our "perspectives" get sunk in the troubled waters of India before they get time to take a breath. Yes, we do try to cocoon ourselves to some extent, I guess that's just human nature. As long as the good perspectives we have learnt survive in most of our individual interactions, I would say we have not lost on our return, any growth we have achieved while out.

I hope the initiative works

Manukarnika, I do not buy the pessimism reflected in your post. The generalization that we carry our casteism with us when we come abroad and carry back when we go home is just that. There is a vast, albeit silent, majority of Indians that will not have anything to do with this caste nonsense. Okay we cannot cleanse prejudice out of every Indian but why should we not try to put in place strong anti-discrimination laws such as you have in America accompanied by a legal system that will implement these laws. Why can't we create a more level playing field for all of us. I don't think that reforms to our system should await till all of us evolve to the level of Mahatma Gandhi or Guru Nanak or Mother Teresa.

The frictions related to caste that we despair about are not so much from our inability to tolerate each other as they are the result of some elements in our society, our so called leaders, who want to instigate simple folks against each other and create conditions to perpetuate their hold over the levers of power.
It is high time that the enlightened amongst us should call these leaders' bluff and come togather to create alternative leadership that will do all of us proud.

Okay it is big talk, but then why not. Why is it that when we come to America we set our sights on becoming the next Lakshmi Mittal or the next Indira Nooyi but when we go back home all we are content with is having a better attitude towards our servents.

When we go to India today we see a lot that is happening. There is a big tunnel under old Delhi through which a world class train carries tens of thousands of commuters every hour. There are Mercs and Beamers vying for space on the road with rickshaws and bicycles. There are malls and cinemas and restaurants that are as good as the ones you have in Canada. Shops that sell as big a variety of stuff as any in America are doing brisk business. Houses that are jaw-droppingly lavish. Who would have thought all that would be possible just 10 years ago.

And equally true is a lot that is not happening which should have happened a long time ago http://www.bdpindia.net/Invitation.html Ours is only an invitation to start making that happen now. God willing we may succeed. But one cannot know till one tries.

OP started an excellent thread. Human beings will always have some prejudice. If not caste, something else (race, language, religion, social status, connections, etc). I think we can live with that. What we cannot live with is a filthy environment. Atleast in the big cities, we live cheek-by-jowl with all "types" of people irrespective of caste, creed, color (or smell, as one teacher used to tell us).

I wish you success. I believe Janaagraha (Bangalore) is doing something like this too.

There is a vast, albeit silent, majority of Indians that will not have anything to do with this caste nonsense.

One look at the matrimonial columns in any Indian newspaper will show otherwise. Please note that I respect the freedom of people to marry (or not marry) anyone they want to (assuming the other person is willing) and consider it their private affair, and consider that they are free to marry on the basis of caste, if they so wish. However, if someone comes along and asserts that the vast majority of Indians ignore caste when it comes matrimony, I will ask him/her to read matrimonial columns. That reminds me of a joke about the fictional matrimonial ad below:

Six feet 3 inches tall, well built, handsome, highly foreign educated young man, dashing, debonair, wealthy, ... seeks suitable marriage partner. Caste no bar, religion no bar, language no bar, sex bar bar.



In Hindi, "baar baar" means "again and again" :)

Bobus;17588
Six feet 3 inches tall, well built, handsome, highly foreign educated young man, dashing, debonair, wealthy, ... seeks suitable marriage partner. Caste no bar, religion no bar, language no bar, sex bar bar.

:)

Bobus,

I almost fell out of my chair. That's pretty cool stuff : ) -

Well, last few post may be good discussion but not very relevent to the topic "What to do about aggravation post R2I"

Please read the topic before posting, or use correct thread for the posts.
else threads loose focus.

Why do you think it is irrelevant?

Don't you think the in-your face caste conversations and callous jokes about the handicapped an aggravation on returning?

Jaggudada;17608Six feet 3 inches tall, well built, handsome, highly foreign educated young man, dashing, debonair, wealthy, ... seeks suitable marriage partner. Caste no bar, religion no bar, language no bar, sex bar bar.

Bobus,

I almost fell out of my chair. That's pretty cool stuff : ) -

Same here after reading 'Six feet 3 inches tall' until I read it again and realized it's a matrimonial ad for a young man!. :emteeth: