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Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:42 am
by confused_nri
Hi everyone,

I am 27 years old female working currently in Chicago in the finance industry as a software developer. I too did my bachelors in engineering from India and moved to US to do my Masters and have been working for 3 years... I love my job and have a great social circle but off late have been missing my family back home a lot! I have a high salary comapred to my peers here and my comapny will start my GC process soon. Nevertheless, for some irrational(?) reason, I feel like coming back home:) ..I guess the feeling has been building up over the past one year or so. I have heard that the salaries in India in the I.T sector have risen a lot and NRIs get good positions upon returning... How true is this? Has anyone here been in the same boat as me?? I feel I might be giving up a lot here in US but it still does not measure up to being close to family AND being home! Please help, any advice will be appreciated, right now I am totally confused, anxious, lost!:emcrook:

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:26 am
by back2desh
This is your first post with so many questions! I suggest you spend some time in this forum for a day or two and I bet you will get answers to all of your questions and there will not be any questions. Pretty much everyone is on the same boat and that's why this forum is created to help such people. This is an excellent forum with wealth of information posted by people who are either in the process of R2Iing, have already R2Ied or planning to R2I in near future. All the best.
confused_nri;298634Hi everyone,

I am 27 years old female working currently in Chicago in the finance industry as a software developer. I too did my bachelors in engineering from India and moved to US to do my Masters and have been working for 3 years... I love my job and have a great social circle but off late have been missing my family back home a lot! I have a high salary comapred to my peers here and my comapny will start my GC process soon. Nevertheless, for some irrational(?) reason, I feel like coming back home:) ..I guess the feeling has been building up over the past one year or so. I have heard that the salaries in India in the I.T sector have risen a lot and NRIs get good positions upon returning... How true is this? Has anyone here been in the same boat as me?? I feel I might be giving up a lot here in US but it still does not measure up to being close to family AND being home! Please help, any advice will be appreciated, right now I am totally confused, anxious, lost!:emcrook:

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:13 pm
by ngkabra
Whether you'll be happy in India will depend totally upon your attitude. Some things will be much worse than in the US, and some things will be much better. Your salary will be "good enough" - which means princely by Indian standards, but you'll still need to think twice before buying expensive electronic gadgets.

Social circle: it will take you a while to build up a new social circle, and the initial period you'll feel lonely and will miss your US friends. But that's to be expected.

Also, remember that while you're in the US, you miss family; but when you've moved to India, sometimes you wish the family would give you some space.

Unfortunately, there are no right answers. Whether it works out for you or not depends upon you, and how you approach the whole situation.

My suggestion: if the feeling has been "building up for an year", that means it's not a temporary thing. So just move back and don't think too much about it.

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:14 pm
by dbs
This is the classic dilemna.
Being alone is acerbating the situation. Perhaps take a vacation, return and then rethink. I have R2Ied but at a different stage of life, and am very happy with my decision.
If you return and then get a good job 1000 miles away from your family, the situatin, not quite the same may not be much different.
I went to hostel and then got a job 300 miles away. It was quite devastating, though not as much as being a few thousand miles away.
When a girl gets amrried, she traditionally moves away from her family and has to adjust. Some move a few miles and some overseas, so you do have company with people in similar situation. As some body suggested read up more of the forum and you should find various different situations and outcomes.
______________________________________________________________
or perhaps as an old song goes - It is a lonely wash without a man's shirt in it.

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 12:12 pm
by vapasi1
I r2ied to Mumbai in 2004 precisely for the same reasons as you have stated.

It is important to introspect and find out what is it that makes you stick in US despite all your liking for your family and the longing to be back home. If you are sure you can give up those things that hold you there and still be happy, then you can make the move. If not, you are still quite young, get married and see how it goes after that because a lot changes after marriage. Maybe that new person might be able to fill a fraction of the void that fills you and is compelling you to move.

In my case, I would have stuck around longer than I did only for money, nothing else. When I decided that I can live with the fact that I will make lesser money, I decided to move. There were other factors that were important. But when I realized that I can give up what I had there and not miss it once I return, it was a no-brainer. Honestly, I did not really take too much time to make up my mind. When I sit back and think now, I feel lot of things fell in place for me and I relocated.

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 7:47 pm
by deeppurple
though this might sound a little personal (and so pardon me for that) -- one option is to make out some close friends whom you can share things -- family is surely your best friend but then they are far off (and in different timezone).


Well in my case, I had this feeling after 2/3 yr working here, but then I talked to my family about it and they got me married :) after marriage, things have being not bad -- i am supposedly happy now (since my wife keep me busy all the time with one chore or another -- but that's another story :) )

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:10 am
by Helios
deeppurple;299604though this might sound a little personal (and so pardon me for that) -- one option is to make out some close friends whom you can share things -- family is surely your best friend but then they are far off (and in different timezone).

Pardon me, but isn't the above phrase slightly out of place?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Making_out
Did you mean to say "to make some close friends" ?

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:03 pm
by back2desh
We all are discussing and suggesting necessary help/advice to the OP however it's strange to find that this is OP's first and only first post and since the posting (June 21) OP never seems to be bothered to check for our responses, should we be discussing this anymore and wasting our time on this thread?
foxbatneo;299820Pardon me, but isn't the above phrase slightly out of place?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Making_out
Did you mean to say "to make some close friends" ?

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:18 pm
by M V
back2desh;299917We all are discussing and suggesting necessary help/advice to the OP however it's strange to find that this is OP's first and only first post and since the posting (June 21) OP never seems to be bothered to check for our responses, should we be discussing this anymore and wasting our time on this thread?

Oh stop being such a wet blanket, will ya? :emcrook:

I think she should think about getting married. All that about "thirty being the new twenty"... not true.

It's been ages since I was twenty seven or had such a cavernous dilemma; lets discuss and suggest necessary help/advice some more.
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Nothing wrong with vicarious, I say!

Planning to return to Pune, but in a dilemma, help!

Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:44 am
by rich
back2desh;299917it's strange to find that this is OP's first and only first post and since the posting (June 21) OP never seems to be bothered to check for our responses,

Oh! At the end, dint she said "she is lost" :)