r2i forum

Hi folks,
I'm new to these forums. Not so new to the US. And a tormented soul over the past few days. Have been here since 1999. No GC yet. Just got back from a 6 week vacation in India(Mumbai) sans family. And my mind is whirling with thoughts about what I should do. Indulge me please.....

I have a daughter going to first grade. Stay at home spouse. Some savings enough to put down on a house here in the bay area. To those unfamiliar with the area, home in good school areas run for 750+ at least. Hence looking at a 550K+ 30 year mortgage. And I think that''s the deal breaker for me. I'm 36. Paying off that mortgage will wipe me out. The way the US economy is shrinking and the govt deficits are going my take home pay will keep going down(more taxes in our future). My job becomes my cage. Everything that can wipe me out (health insurance, mortgage) is tied to it. I become a slave to the American dream.
Enough about the mortgage rant. I always thought that I'll get my GC, get citizenship and then toy with the idea of going back to India. The way its worked out I cannot wait for another 5-6 years to make that descision. My daughter will be 12 by then and it won't be fair to uproot her and place her in a new education system at that point not to mention the culture shock.
I do not see how I'm going to fund my kids higher education at the way edu-inflation is going up here.

R2I then with my savings buys me a flat in Mumbai, some money left over in the bank. A decent job I hope with better growth prospects than in the US. 8-9% GDP vs 2.5% GDP (US) increase. Debt free. Support system of family and friends. A hope that in 10 years the infrastructure issues will get better. More stress for kids education-wise. But pampering grandparents. (I never knew my grandparent. My kids have the opportunity to know theirs) Friends to play with , no four walls enclosure like in the US. Inflation but with growth along with it.

What are your thoughts people? I'd like to hear from you folks who have made up their minds. How did you get over that uneasy feeling in your gut that hits you when you first start thinking about thinking about going back?

Please share......

In my personal opinion, not just you, but many ( almost 80 %) of people that stay back, are slaves of the american dream. Now that said american dream is not a bad thing. It gives us a lot of things that we need. Infrastructure in India,will never be anything close to US, in our lifetime.

That said India is your country. It is your people. If this theme resonates in your mind come back. Personally, try to come back in a positive frame of mind. Dont give yourself reasons not to live in US, give yourself reasons to go India, then even if the economic roller coaster takes many turns, you will still be reassured.

Go to India if you think you love India. Then, once you decide to go back, make a clear exit strategy. What are your job options, would you be self employed, where would you like to live, schools for the kids, once these questions are answered book your flight tikets.

RK

I hope I do not sound as a cynicist but India is going to be what it is , too much pupulation, corruption, bad governance is what it has and will probably stay beyond our life time. I love India feeling vanishes in thin air with the day to day inconveniences of load shedding, water cuts, back breaking potholed roads, delays, substandard work, sab chalta hai attitude, bad customer service, no value to human life, poor naked kids at signals, gangsters as politicians and what not. Return to India if you truly want to be in India, the decision has to come from your heart, give some importance to your mind but mind is very dubious, you never know when mind will change. Only family and friends is what makes one stay in India justifiable, nothing else IMFO

Mumbai_2009;312271I hope I do not sound as a cynicist but India is going to be what it is , too much pupulation, corruption, bad governance is what it has and will probably stay beyond our life time. I love India feeling vanishes in thin air with the day to day inconveniences of load shedding, water cuts, back breaking potholed roads, delays, substandard work, sab chalta hai attitude, bad customer service, no value to human life, poor naked kids at signals, gangsters as politicians and what not. Return to India if you truly want to be in India, the decision has to come from your heart, give some importance to your mind but mind is very dubious, you never know when mind will change. Only family and friends is what makes one stay in India justifiable, nothing else IMFO

Thanks, mumbai_2009. Just wanted to say that your opinions are highly valued and help a lot. Thanks.

OP, I concur with Raj and Mumbaii_2009. It is important to have a realistic view of India and at least somewhat clear plan of how you would live in India.

Navin C, have you explored living somewhere other that the Bay Area in the US ?

navinc;312253Hi folks,
I'm new to these forums. Not so new to the US. And a tormented soul over the past few days. Have been here since 1999. No GC yet. Just got back from a 6 week vacation in India(Mumbai) sans family. And my mind is whirling with thoughts about what I should do. Indulge me please.....

I have a daughter going to first grade. Stay at home spouse. Some savings enough to put down on a house here in the bay area. To those unfamiliar with the area, home in good school areas run for 750+ at least. Hence looking at a 550K+ 30 year mortgage. And I think that''s the deal breaker for me. I'm 36. Paying off that mortgage will wipe me out. The way the US economy is shrinking and the govt deficits are going my take home pay will keep going down(more taxes in our future). My job becomes my cage. Everything that can wipe me out (health insurance, mortgage) is tied to it. I become a slave to the American dream.
Enough about the mortgage rant. I always thought that I'll get my GC, get citizenship and then toy with the idea of going back to India. The way its worked out I cannot wait for another 5-6 years to make that descision. My daughter will be 12 by then and it won't be fair to uproot her and place her in a new education system at that point not to mention the culture shock.
I do not see how I'm going to fund my kids higher education at the way edu-inflation is going up here.

R2I then with my savings buys me a flat in Mumbai, some money left over in the bank. A decent job I hope with better growth prospects than in the US. 8-9% GDP vs 2.5% GDP (US) increase. Debt free. Support system of family and friends. A hope that in 10 years the infrastructure issues will get better. More stress for kids education-wise. But pampering grandparents. (I never knew my grandparent. My kids have the opportunity to know theirs) Friends to play with , no four walls enclosure like in the US. Inflation but with growth along with it.

What are your thoughts people? I'd like to hear from you folks who have made up their minds. How did you get over that uneasy feeling in your gut that hits you when you first start thinking about thinking about going back?

Please share......

Oh boy, so many thoughts. I have been in the USA for 20 years now. I have read way too many threads in R2I more so out of human interest, than due to conflicts of the mind. This has helped me frame my thoughts, and also kind of correlate with others.

- There are many ways to look at it. Still, I think one should go back to India for the things that will mean something other than money, job growth, GDP.
- Someone wrote that for the next 50 years India will be the story of the three classes, the thin section of ultra rich combined with the political class, the substantial degree oriented educated and wannabe educated middle class finding comfort in job, family, and culture, followed by the huge swath of the under class that lives day to day taking comfort in mass culture, and religion, and toiling for the hopes of their children.
- Yes, you will see a ton of struggling people. There in lies the opportunity to make a difference by building a profit oriented institution or just through corporate job, and charity.
- I understand your thoughts about job, mortgage, and college fees in USA. It is fairly clear that if you want to live the american dream in california, with all the trappings, and toppings:), you will have to keep yourself motivated, and employable like any white collar older worker in to your 60s. At the same time, it is unhealthy to feel that you are entrapped by your situation for the next 30 years. I am sure that you can manage your emotional state over time.

What would you do if I gave you a million dollars? With that money, you can get a fully paid house in CA, and college fees for you child. Would you still want to be in the USA or go back to India banking in the money?

Based on your age, and experiences, you will get different thoughts about R2I. At some point, when the kids get into their 8th grade, and on, you may start to feel that you can give them something more in the USA based on your time, closeness to them, the community you are in, your friends network.

Life is better for you, and your family when you are surrounded by a good value based network of well wishers. This can be family, and friends. You can make it happen in the USA, or India. I am learning slowly that eating the correct diet, and having a regular joyful physical activity including play calms you down, and decreases the fears. In any case R2I is not the be all, and end all. It is one very important issue for many of us when solved, can be immediately followed by other important issues.

In the mean time, I would vote no to buying a home in your case at this time.Decide on where you want to live, and rent a good home with the all the comforts. My good friend that I respect tells me that your heart will tell you when it is time to do it. If your heart overwhelmingly tells you to move your family back to your roots, just do it. Once there, build a good network, and life. Once in India, if you feel that you are no longer comfortable there, and cannot tolerate that environment, pack your bags, and move again. You global experience will open doors for you once again.

Have fun. Be well.

Thanks guys. The many frustrations of India are not lost on me. These are primarily at the infrastructure / cultural level. My main concern is that I was on the wrong side of the pond when the tech bubble hit and when the housing bubble hit. The double whammy was that we missed out on the growth in India in the past 4-5 years as well. Now I have a nagging feeling that we'll be on the wrong side of the pond again as the world rebalances and the standard of living in the US drops and that in India rises. I am under no illusion that Mumbai( or any other city)i will be like NYC/Shanghai any day in our lifetimes but there will be progress/growth. Giving up the ease of the day-to-day and the mundane here in the US for the long term view is not easy....how did all the R2I's who did it convince themselves? What demons did they wrestle against (besides my own I mentioned ) and how they overcame them. I want to see if I'm missing anything or not thinking of questions that I should be. That's the purpose of my thread....

casperof1999;312280Navin C, have you explored living somewhere other that the Bay Area in the US ?

Actually yes...I'm looking for similar demographics like the Bay area (lots of Indians and Chinese) and low home prices(unlike the Bay area). One place that appeals to me in terms of jobs and home prices is N. Carolina. Do you know of any other places with plenty of jobs and relatively low home prices and of course good schools?
Among this the bigger question still remain about R2I for long term growth and family/friends.

navinc;312299Actually yes...I'm looking for similar demographics like the Bay area (lots of Indians and Chinese) and low home prices(unlike the Bay area). One place that appeals to me in terms of jobs and home prices is N. Carolina. Do you know of any other places with plenty of jobs and relatively low home prices and of course good schools?
Among this the bigger question still remain about R2I for long term growth and family/friends.

One place is Dallas (Plano or surrounding area of it in Dallas). But I am not sure abt jobs though.......I left that place 10 yrs ago so dont know what's going on now...

So Cal is somewhat cheaper than the Bay Area with the lovely CA weather intact and a bunch of jobs. On the downside it still shares many of the drawbacks of the BA ...

navinc;312299Actually yes...I'm looking for similar demographics like the Bay area (lots of Indians and Chinese) and low home prices(unlike the Bay area). One place that appeals to me in terms of jobs and home prices is N. Carolina. Do you know of any other places with plenty of jobs and relatively low home prices and of course good schools?
Among this the bigger question still remain about R2I for long term growth and family/friends.