r2i forum

It has been a really long time since I posted anything on this board. Recently, some of the events that happened made me feel that I should share it thinking it may help someone out there who is sitting on the fence debating on R2I or not.

It has been 5+ years since I R2I'ed and you can read about my experience :
http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/showthread.php/3175-2-Year-R2I-report..-Gator92

It has been a very eventful journey so far, with lots of ups and downs both at work and home. There have been numerous instances where I thought we did a horrible mistake coming back and there have been lots of other times where we felt we made the right choice.

There is a saying that goes ..
"There are two worlds; the world that we can measure with line and rule, and the world that we feel with our hearts and imagination." -- Leigh Hunt

In my opinion, if you want your life to be orderly and planned than U.S is the place to be which you can measure with line and rule. If you are the kind of personality that can survive on chaos and live with day to day uncertanities than you can think of R2I.

About two months ago, my mother passed away all of a sudden at 3 am in the morning due to a massive heart attack in her sleep. It was so sudden and without any kind of medical warning that we were left totally unprepared for this.

Having R2I'ed more than 5 years ago and looking back at all the good times that she had with my kids and us coming back, I think this is perhaps the best decision I did. No amount of dollars I would have earned in this period can compensate for all the great moments that she shared with us because we came back. My father feels the void after living with her for 51 years and one fine morning waking up to realize that she is gone forever. The fact that he has us and specially my kids has greatly helped to reduce the pain for him.

I would have been left with lot of regrets if this incident were to have happened if I was in U.S. Coming in for vacation for few weeks in a year is no substitute for being here in person in times of joy and sorrow.

The takeaway message that I wanted to convey is that if you have aged parents (and in-laws) living in India, think on how much of joy you would bring being here with them. Do not have regrets that you did not return back in time for them once they are gone since there is no turning back the clock again.

Gator92;388161It has been a really long time since I posted anything on this board. Recently, some of the events that happened made me feel that I should share it thinking it may help someone out there who is sitting on the fence debating on R2I or not.

It has been 5+ years since I R2I'ed and you can read about my experience :
http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/showthread.php/3175-2-Year-R2I-report..-Gator92

It has been a very eventful journey so far, with lots of ups and downs both at work and home. There have been numerous instances where I thought we did a horrible mistake coming back and there have been lots of other times where we felt we made the right choice.

There is a saying that goes ..
"There are two worlds; the world that we can measure with line and rule, and the world that we feel with our hearts and imagination." -- Leigh Hunt

In my opinion, if you want your life to be orderly and planned than U.S is the place to be which you can measure with line and rule. If you are the kind of personality that can survive on chaos and live with day to day uncertanities than you can think of R2I.

About two months ago, my mother passed away all of a sudden at 3 am in the morning due to a massive heart attack in her sleep. It was so sudden and without any kind of medical warning that we were left totally unprepared for this.

Having R2I'ed more than 5 years ago and looking back at all the good times that she had with my kids and us coming back, I think this is perhaps the best decision I did. No amount of dollars I would have earned in this period can compensate for all the great moments that she shared with us because we came back. My father feels the void after living with her for 51 years and one fine morning waking up to realize that she is gone forever. The fact that he has us and specially my kids has greatly helped to reduce the pain for him.

I would have been left with lot of regrets if this incident were to have happened if I was in U.S. Coming in for vacation for few weeks in a year is no substitute for being here in person in times of joy and sorrow.

The takeaway message that I wanted to convey is that if you have aged parents (and in-laws) living in India, think on how much of joy you would bring being here with them. Do not have regrets that you did not return back in time for them once they are gone since there is no turning back the clock again.

It sure brought me tears reading this.. My wife went silent for about an hour.. boy, you hit right on.. I am longing to go and be with them though we had conflict here and there but hey who doesn't have.. I wish I had come to this forum about few years ago.. I could have set some realistic financial goal to reach there by this time..

I had similar experience. We relocated in 2007 and dad passed away in late 2010. I was able to be with my dad through out the entire 9 months from diagnosis to death right by his side. It gave my dad a lot of security that his care is absolutely taken care of; he never had to worry about making/keeping any appointments or interpreting any reports. It gave me a lot of satisfaction that I had the previlige to be there. My mom who lived with him for 51 years does not have to face a empty void. All said, the pain that mom goes through is unbearable but with our presence we can only hope that she can see the light of the day in a optimistic way again.

I used to be one of those who always thought from heart and then I moved to US more than a decade back. I guess life in US changed me to the latter category and everything had to make financial sense. Sudden and unexpected loss of father in 2007 and my inability to make it back home in time shook me to the very core. I questioned the whole meaning of life here in US...... Finalized my decision for R2I before loosing anyone else.

Targeting R2I for later this year......

Totally agree with you. Part of our reason to R2I is also due to my dad. he was such an active guy all the years I've known him but is bedridden for the past year or so with parkinsons and other complications.

I was working from India for four months trying to help mom and dad will be R2I'ing in july this year for good.

This is certainly one of the major factors one wants to r2i. I know we do. You are absolutely correct, once we lose our parents no amount of regret will turn back the clock, nor will our country hold as much charm as it is with them around. So lets hope we can all fulfill our desires of being near our families when they need us the most and on time.

Very nice post.

Thank you very much for posting this update, especially for laying out the two choices in such simple terms. Wishing you and your family the strength to deal with the loss and to move forward.

he takeaway message that I wanted to convey is that if you have aged parents (and in-laws) living in India, think on how much of joy you would bring being here with them. Do not have regrets that you did not return back in time for them once they are gone since there is no turning back the clock again.

Agree with you Gator......its been 4 years now for us in India...there have been very frustrating days . You think at time what are you doing here in India but things like these just pulls you back from taking the decision of going back to US.....the time spend with them now is so precious. I guess most of us might have left home long back .....that time our parents were running the show ....now though it comes like a shock as you have not seen them dependent....but at the same time gives you immense happiness that you could be of some help to them. Even in helping them we are helping ourselves ...we are seeking happiness and satisfaction for ourselves....its very strange feeling....but its real.

I returned back to India in Aug 2010. I read so much here and really wanted to write back to various queries once i thought i will be settled down here..
I came back to India primarily to spend time with mom and dad who are aged. One late evening two months after my move my mom passed away all the while being cheerfully and talking to me. We were getting ready for dinner and pious soul of mom escaped physical body without a streak of pain or anguish in bathroom.. For my family it seemed like entire world has come apart and my dad who enjoyed 53 years of married life and who always looked at positive side of life and led energetic life found vacuum that could not be filled and March this year and he had similar painless death after waking up one day ..he just collapsed.
All the planning i did , all the calculations i did over last so many years being in US.. sounded meaningless to me.. I am in position where i am nto sure i should be happy that i was atleast there for these few months or cry for missing opportunity to be with them for 11 years.. If i did later it would have meant i haven't learnt anything from mom and dad..
FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE CONTEMPLATING TO MOVE BACK TO INDIA OR NOT, please take a moment and understand that we tangle ourselves with many silly reasons/requirements that may not be all that required so go ahead and be truthful to yourself and JUST DO IT.
Penning down these lines i am drowned by emotion of loosing parents but thoughts here are the lessons i learn which i thought should share with forum..
I will surely come back again and give more details as my current thought process . just in case if it can help people to decide one way or other..