r2i forum

R2I (especially chennai) after living in US more than 10 years

Working in IT job earning decent money; My spouse is also working in IT. I have 10 and 7 year old daughters. It has been years and I would like to go back to India and settle down. Beyond money, I have some basic questions…
1) After R2I, I heard that the relationship between wife & husband may not be as good as in US
2) If you are working in IT, then you will always end up coming late/working hard/more hours in the office
3) You cannot spend time with your kids/family. Only during weekends
4) Kids will be sick always due to weather conditions – is that true even if you live in good apartment community (DLF,TVH and etc.,)
5) Kids education will be difficult. Kids will suffer to adopt themselves into Indian curriculum
6) Traffic will be always bad. For 10-15 kms it will take an hour to reach home
7) You cannot keep your parents with you due to lifestyle/their age limitation
8) You will not be able to meet your parents/visit your home town frequently. Probably once in 6 months or once in a year.
9) Can’t get good servants for cooking/cleaning homes; will be difficult to keep the car drivers; will be difficult to get good/known car drivers
10) Even living in apartment, people won’t be friendly. Don’t even say “Hi”

Is that true? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

you are painting with a very broad brush.

mags123;406573R2I (especially chennai) after living in US more than 10 years

Working in IT job earning decent money; My spouse is also working in IT. I have 10 and 7 year old daughters. It has been years and I would like to go back to India and settle down. Beyond money, I have some basic questions…
1) After R2I, I heard that the relationship between wife & husband may not be as good as in US
2) If you are working in IT, then you will always end up coming late/working hard/more hours in the office
3) You cannot spend time with your kids/family. Only during weekends
4) Kids will be sick always due to weather conditions – is that true even if you live in good apartment community (DLF,TVH and etc.,)
5) Kids education will be difficult. Kids will suffer to adopt themselves into Indian curriculum
6) Traffic will be always bad. For 10-15 kms it will take an hour to reach home
7) You cannot keep your parents with you due to lifestyle/their age limitation
8) You will not be able to meet your parents/visit your home town frequently. Probably once in 6 months or once in a year.
9) Can’t get good servants for cooking/cleaning homes; will be difficult to keep the car drivers; will be difficult to get good/known car drivers
10) Even living in apartment, people won’t be friendly. Don’t even say “Hi”

Is that true? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

all that is true.


RK

rajradio;406588all that is true.


RK

you beat me to it. I was about to say the same.

dont go buddy....with this attitude you won't even try to settle ;)

mags123;406573R2I (especially chennai) after living in US more than 10 years

Working in IT job earning decent money; My spouse is also working in IT. I have 10 and 7 year old daughters. It has been years and I would like to go back to India and settle down. Beyond money, I have some basic questions?
1) After R2I, I heard that the relationship between wife & husband may not be as good as in US ...

"Relationship" between wife & husband takes a hit when kids start to get older. If r2i happens at the same time, poor thing gets blamed for that. :)

Looks like start-of-the-school-year blues. Might go away by the time parent-teacher conference or Thanksgiving comes around.

1) After R2I, I heard that the relationship between wife & husband may not be as good as in US - Yes, you will gt very little time esp if your wife continues to work too..

2) If you are working in IT, then you will always end up coming late/working hard/more hours in the office - defly yes

3) You cannot spend time with your kids/family. Only during weekends - cant agree more..

4) Kids will be sick always due to weather conditions – is that true even if you live in good apartment community (DLF,TVH and etc.,)- not necessarily..initially it may take some time to gt used to the weather etc..

5) Kids education will be difficult. Kids will suffer to adopt themselves into Indian curriculum- kids your age tend to compare since they gt to exp both worlds..

6) Traffic will be always bad. For 10-15 kms it will take an hour to reach home- yes

7) You cannot keep your parents with you due to lifestyle/their age limitation- not true..in-laws staying with us. largely depends on your mind-set

8) You will not be able to meet your parents/visit your home town frequently. Probably once in 6 months or once in a year- not true..it is you who decide the frequency

9) Can’t get good servants for cooking/cleaning homes; will be difficult to keep the car drivers; will be difficult to get good/known car drivers- money talks esp that strata of the society. you pay more and they are loyal..again dont hold me for this. you may have to try a few maids before sttling down. we had to change 5 maids in first one month of r2i and now we are very happy. she is very very loyal yet a little greedy..simpel things lke expects the extra monetary aid every festival, occasion..etc


10) Even living in apartment, people won’t be friendly. Don’t even say “Hi”- dont expect the 'HI" we give and take in US even to darn stranger..but your kids will have a blast esp in apt. socal life is great ( I'm in B'lore and not sure abt chennai culture)

mags123;406573R2I (especially chennai) after living in US more than 10 years

Working in IT job earning decent money; My spouse is also working in IT. I have 10 and 7 year old daughters. It has been years and I would like to go back to India and settle down. Beyond money, I have some basic questions…
1) After R2I, I heard that the relationship between wife & husband may not be as good as in US
2) If you are working in IT, then you will always end up coming late/working hard/more hours in the office
3) You cannot spend time with your kids/family. Only during weekends
4) Kids will be sick always due to weather conditions – is that true even if you live in good apartment community (DLF,TVH and etc.,)
5) Kids education will be difficult. Kids will suffer to adopt themselves into Indian curriculum
6) Traffic will be always bad. For 10-15 kms it will take an hour to reach home
7) You cannot keep your parents with you due to lifestyle/their age limitation
8) You will not be able to meet your parents/visit your home town frequently. Probably once in 6 months or once in a year.
9) Can’t get good servants for cooking/cleaning homes; will be difficult to keep the car drivers; will be difficult to get good/known car drivers
10) Even living in apartment, people won’t be friendly. Don’t even say “Hi”

Is that true? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Such a strong first post. Congratulations !!
And may I add (to #3 response) that it will be so easy on the eyes if you plan to list only 10 items of difficulties with R2I in every one of your other posts as well.
Some others have implied that if major appliances behave well, your #1 worry may not seem to matter at all.

OP, you have some valid concerns. I assume your concerns stem from what you've heard from others.

Every person is different. You mightn't feel the same way about a certain concern that someone would've felt differently.

Therefore, while it's better to be prepared and it helps with the planning, don't over-analyze your move and there's a good chance it can hurt rather than help.

I've heard some of your concerns from others as well and believe those are indeed true but if you and your spouse think that you can make R2I success then I don't think you will fail there. IMO, more than anything, the right attitude will help a happy return.

OP daily life is more "challenging" in INDIA.
So divide your concern into two parts. One part you can not do much. Second you can do a lot. Here are my views:

1) After R2I, I heard that the relationship between wife & husband may not be as good as in US.
Totally up to you and spouse. You may get less time but you can make an effort and make that time count.

2) If you are working in IT, then you will always end up coming late/working hard/more hours in the office.
If you have the ability/money get a position that does not require 12 hour days. If not then probably you have to take a pay-cut. If you are not swilling to take a pay cut then you should not expect this aspect to be better. Harsh but it is what it is.


3) You cannot spend time with your kids/family. Only during weekends
See point 2.

4) Kids will be sick always due to weather conditions ? is that true even if you live in good apartment community (DLF,TVH and etc.,)

The air/water quality is "different" than western countries. With time your kids will develop natural immunity.

5) Kids education will be difficult. Kids will suffer to adopt themselves into Indian curriculum.

They will if you and your spouse are willing to put in extra effort initially.The question is "Are you willing to adopt to Indian curriculum and it's load?"

6) Traffic will be always bad. For 10-15 kms it will take an hour to reach home
It is bad and not going to get better. Better find job near house or vice versa even if it is expensive else suck it up.

7) You cannot keep your parents with you due to lifestyle/their age limitation

This is totally dependent on you and spouse.

8) You will not be able to meet your parents/visit your home town frequently. Probably once in 6 months or once in a year.

This is mostly dependent on you and spouse. The only thing I will add is kids school schedule may impose some constraint.


9) Can?t get good servants for cooking/cleaning homes; will be difficult to keep the car drivers; will be difficult to get good/known car drivers

Higher salary. You pay peanuts you get monkeys (in the sense that they will jump from one patron to another, no intention of characterizing maids/driver as animals )

10) Even living in apartment, people won?t be friendly. Don?t even say ?Hi?
It is partially dependent on you. If you tak time to know neighbor so will they in most cases

What is your real reason to consider R2I? Because when things go south ( not to Chennai :wink but proverbial south) that reason will be the beacon that will sustain and guide your R2I journey .

In any case best wishes :embeer:

Cheers