r2i forum

Hello,

[INDENT]I am planning to return after staying in the US for about 10 years.

I am used to and very comfortable living alone -- in the USA.

Any ideas how will life for a single girl be different in India, in terms of the following: I plan to live in a cosmopolitain city Bombay or Bangalore.

-- Is it safe to live alone in an apartment or must one live with roomates?

-- How late can one stay out late?

-- How safe is public transportation?

-- Are neighbors nosy- always wondering why a girl living alone? Treat girl/girls living alone with disdain?

-- Does one have to worry about crazy stalkers?

-- Is criagslist a reliable way to find apartments in Bombay? If not, then how does one go about looking for an apartment?

-- Does one need to give 1 year rent as deposit in Bombay?

-- Can you please give names of some good neighborhoods in Bombay that are safe for women?

-- This may sound stupid, but can one even wear whatever we want in India one is living and traveling alone, or is it safer to always be dressed in a Salwaar Kameez if living alone?

-- Please name some other potential things one has to watch out for while living in alone in India (Bombay and Bangalore)

Thanks


[/INDENT]

Welcome to the R2IClub forum.
Please read the posts in this thread:
http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/showthread.php/13204-Introduce-yourself

http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/showthread.php/25839-Why-women-member-s-participation-is-so-less-in-this-forum

In one of the posts (quoted below) there is an advice to use the search function. It is on top of the page under the little house icon. Type whatever in there ( e.g., Mumbai ) and see what you can get to read.

GutsyGibbon;415968I think there needs to be an "Introduction/forum welcome" area/section. I am sure most people would welcome new members here. In this section people can say why they are here, how they found the forum, and what they expect to get. If interested, they can disclose whatever personal info. This way people have some insight into who this is. If the intro is something like what mastan_bhai had to say, the first thing that comes to my head is "forum troll, probably from Pakistan"
Later on, depending on what sides they take on hot topics, they can be bashed up :-). Sometimes people are shown the inaptitude to use the search facility before starting threads, which is horribly wrong. Other than that, this is the only forum where I have posted this many times, or read these many posts. IMHO, there is a recognition for the common sentiment, other minority sentiments face opposition, that is why its called a minority sentiment. Why take offence?
I was going to say, a certain percentage of women do not become members, or post much on R2I forums, because they have little influence on the R2I decision, decision to return to husband's town. Perhaps even live with husbands parents. Depending on the number I associate with this "certain percentage", I can expect anything from debate, to being called silly (would that be bullying?).

Also why are people so easily offended? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9HRLvfbauA If its a minority view point, it is bound to get lots of opposing view points. That should be a given, or expected. eg. dilemma leaning towards LIA (in a R2I forum), tree huggers, pro pets/dogs, anti woo woo, etc :-)

PS: I am not making a case for bullying, also dont know if I have done any. But, our people in general get offended too soon.

Pastime Reading:http://bit.ly/npiKiD

Well...I am not a girl and certainly not single but let me try to answer some of your questions. I will talk about Bangalore (I have no clue about how things work in Mumbai):

Singlegalr2i;416065Is it safe to live alone in an apartment or must one live with roomates?
-- How late can one stay out late?
-- How safe is public transportation?

In Bangalore it is generally safe to live alone in an apartment as long as you don't pick an unsafe location.

Bangalore is a bummer for partying - especially in the last few years.
Pubs/discos close early (11:00 or 11:30pm) due to the local law.

People stay out late (1:00am or 2:00am) watching movies, private parties etc. Radio cabs are available and are generally safe but for single women it is advisable to have your own transport when staying out late.

Public transport (buses) are well known for pick-pockets so you need to watch out for your wallet, mobile when traveling in crowded buses. Women are usually in the front of the bus and men are at the back and this rule is generally followed. Of course there will always be some occasional creep who will find an excuse to "bump" into a woman or grope a woman travelling in a bus. The AC buses (Volvo) are much better.

Auto rickshaws are dime a dozen and pretty safe, convenient & relatively cheap way to travel.

Radio cabs (with AC, GPS tracking) are available on-call and are even safer & far more comfortable than autos.

[QUOTE] -- Are neighbors nosy- always wondering why a girl living alone? Treat girl/girls living alone with disdain?


We Indians are in general are a very curious (nosy) lot.
Girl living alone will be fodder for gossip amongst the neighbors - especially for the elderly folks.
I don't think it will result in one getting treated with disdain but there could be a lot of questions coming your way. If you have a mind-set to ignore gossip and such questions you shoud be fine.

Hi OP

Based on your questions I think you already have some impression on the safety of a single woman as well as the social acceptabiliity. To me it seems as though your questions themselves have the answers so it is for you to look deep within for a decision.

I am not Woman and Not a Single Woman at that but if these questions were in my mind, then I would never even think about R2I at least for the time being.

Regards

Venkat

Although I am still in US and anxiously waiting for my R2I day....I can speak for Mumbai a little bit, but not sure how much of a help it would be as this is coming from a GUY....

I lived in Mumbai for 21 years, but its been 10 years since I moved to US and I can only speak as to what I experienced back then. They tell me Mumbai has changed a lot since...but I guess the heart and soul never changes ...so here it is....

-- Is it safe to live alone in an apartment or must one live with roomates?
I think it depends on the locality that you stay in. Most places would be safe. If you manage to make good friends with your neighbors, that might add a bit of relief too.

-- How late can one stay out late?
I am pretty sure that Mumbai is pretty safe to stay out alone say until 10pmish and if you have some company, you are good until 11pmish. My family is in Mumbai and my sisters and friends never had any problems staying out late. The fact is that in Mumbai traffic is a huge problem and people tend to work at odd times by taking late afternoon shifts or evening shifts. If you are working for an IT company most companies offer door to door transport these days.

-- How safe is public transportation?
Its pretty safe. Infact more than 50% of Mumbai commutes in public transport every single day. In trains, they have separate ladies compartments and buses have allocated ladies seats too. Rickshaws and Taxis are in plenty.

-- Are neighbors nosy- always wondering why a girl living alone? Treat girl/girls living alone with disdain?
Depends on who your neighbor is.

-- Does one have to worry about crazy stalkers?
Ofcourse yes. India is full of stalkers. You know the drill.

-- Is criagslist a reliable way to find apartments in Bombay? If not, then how does one go about looking for an apartment?
Best would be to find a real estate agent who can get you an apartment on rent.

-- Does one need to give 1 year rent as deposit in Bombay?
Nope. I have rented my flat in Mumbai and we asked for 3 months rent. Usually 3 months rent is the norm. But I maybe wrong. The agent might be able to tell you more.

-- Can you please give names of some good neighborhoods in Bombay that are safe for women?
Neighborhoods in Powai, Andheri, Mulund are good. Actually you might find a lot of good neighborhoods in Mumbai, the agent might be able to tell. My suggestion would be to find a place closer to work. Did I mention traffic in Mumbai sucks !!!!

-- This may sound stupid, but can one even wear whatever we want in India one is living and traveling alone, or is it safer to always be dressed in a Salwaar Kameez if living alone?
Mumbai is metropolitan and very open about fashion. Ofcourse you can whatever you want, whenever you want. Just make sure it is not too revealing to avoid attracting unwanted attention.

-- Please name some other potential things one has to watch out for while living in alone in India (Bombay and Bangalore)
Cant think of any at the moment....but maybe someone else can fill this is??

Hope it helps.

MKD

OP, speaking of Bangalore, well it's not uncommon to see women living alone but make sure you decide to stay in good apartment complex with security than in living in independent house.

Don't go around and announce that you are single and living alone. Just say that you are here on an assignment until you get a better feeling of people with whom you are going to interact.
Better yet wear some mangala sutra for safety when you go around, I see this trend, to wear mangala sutra for safety. India by large is still stereotyped (but much better than our grandma times) and a single woman is always subjected to scrutiny.

Nothing wrong in wearing what you want but depends on where you are heading to irrespective of single or married. That said wearing half pants, jeans or tight leggings is very much common atleast in bangalore even with people crossing 40. These attire are good for any location. If you are talking about shorts kind of dress then high end restaurant and posh streets , big companies with your own vehicle for commute or auto/cab are good but may not hold good for local grocey store or in public transport system just to avoid staring eyes.

Good luck and more than anything else come here with a strong mind that you will answer many curious people and you will be fine. Slowly you will know about what other safety measures you have to address to live alone here in India.

[INDENT]I am planning to return after staying in the US for about 10 years.

I am used to and very comfortable living alone -- in the USA.

Any ideas how will life for a single girl be different in India, in terms of the following: I plan to live in a cosmopolitain city Bombay or Bangalore.

I am from Bombay. Born and brought up and back now for last 2 years.

-- Is it safe to live alone in an apartment or must one live with roomates?

safe enough. I have couple of single gal friends living all by themselves.

-- How late can one stay out late?

I often travel late...close to 11:30 pm or so. Pretty safe. But I don't loiter into areas which I am not familiar with or are heavily office places after 9 pm or so. residential areas are pretty safe and crowded even late in the night.

-- How safe is public transportation?

Safe but you need to take precaution. On your guard of your surrounding and ready to hit/fight back if molested in crowd or crowded trains. It doesn't happen but you can't let yours guards down.
-- Are neighbors nosy- always wondering why a girl living alone? Treat girl/girls living alone with disdain?

I stay alone sometimes in my pune residence. Neigbors do want to know why...but you need to know how to tackle them. Disdain or not...you should not care much. Have an attitude of things said to you by neighbors doesn't bother you. Neigbors will stop by themselves.

-- Does one have to worry about crazy stalkers?

depends on how good looking or you. Or take out your sandal and run after them or scream 'Bachao' and you will have atleast 10 other people running after the stalker.

-- Is criagslist a reliable way to find apartments in Bombay? If not, then how does one go about looking for an apartment?

few of my friends contact their friends or have company portals to look for available apartments or there are agents who can help you

-- Does one need to give 1 year rent as deposit in Bombay?

usually it is 6 months...depends though

-- Can you please give names of some good neighborhoods in Bombay that are safe for women?

Bombay is pretty safe. Westerns suburbs are good so are central suburbs.

-- This may sound stupid, but can one even wear whatever we want in India one is living and traveling alone, or is it safer to always be dressed in a Salwaar Kameez if living alone?

well depends on whatever. I won't go in subji mandi in shorts and tank tops. Malls yes...you can find girls wearing them. not many wear salwaar kameez these days in mumbai...mostly it is leggings/kurtas/jean/tops/skirts....slevvelesses are rampant too....dur to october heat.

-- Please name some other potential things one has to watch out for while living in alone in India (Bombay and Bangalore)

nothing that I could think of.

Thanks

you are most welcome.

Rent deposit(advance) in BengaLuru is for 10 months.

Most cities in India it is 10 months rent as deposit. Of course if you go through known contacts it may be reduced.

OP's least of concern should be the rent deposit not sure why she mentioned it though for other factors like safety and social acceptability push this to the back-seat

My Roots;416142...Don't go around and announce that you are single and living alone. .....

Just today read an article about FLOH / Single in the city, etc. All of them have been founded in Bangalore.

http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/floh---a-singles-only-network-in-bangalore.html
http://floh.in/
http://singleinthecity.in/