r2i forum

Hello,
Thanks for such a great platform with great people.

I have somewhat unusual R2I dilemma-
Background-
Myself 34 yrs- Studied MS in USA and have been working 8yrs after that in Aerospace/automotive engineering.
Wife- medical doctor post graduate from India and currently into her first year of medical residency.
14 month old son living with us.

Current situation-
We all moved to North Carolinia for my wife's residency 3 months ago and since then I am working from home + son going to day care/taken care by visiting grandparents as much as possible.
Wife - fed up with the stress of medical residency. She is usually out working 15 hrs per day and really misses seeing our son grow up.
Also She has practiced in India and prefers the Indian system of treating patients than US system. She thinks even after completing the three years of residency she won't like to practice in the US and would rather go back and practice in India. ( Sometimes she says if she does end up practicing in US then it would be part time outpatient practice)

Dilemma-
To R2I right now by quitting the residency or somehow go through 3 years of residency and return after the residency is done with??
Also on my side I am working as an engineer and really want to switch to some non technical role- supply chain mgt, finance, business analyst etc.
While working from home I am taking some online education in my desired area. I was hoping that during these three years of wife's residency I would work towards getting education in my field of interest and when we go back I can change my career track.


My concern is- If we decided to move right now and not wait till the residency how easy/difficult it would be for me to switch career tracks in India. Also working from home for three years really means I just get to keep my job with no raises and no lead role. Does work from home negatively reflect on resume when I R2I?

My guess is that wife would still be okay quitting residency and practicing in India since she already has a post graduate Indian medicine degree.

On the finance front we have probably saved around 180k and both of us plan to work after R2I.
Still renting so no house to sell.

Please share your thoughts.

Thanks in advance

working from home is not for faint hearted-
your situation looks like perfect candidate for R2I, but you did not specify are you citizen in US.
Also if there are no plans to return in future to US, giving up on residency is ok solution and that's what your wife wants to do.

if you both are comfortable plan on returning to India makes sense.

Good luck

rajaram_telang;476427Wife - fed up with the stress of medical residency. She is usually out working 15 hrs per day and really misses seeing our son grow up.
Also She has practiced in India and prefers the Indian system of treating patients than US system. She thinks even after completing the three years of residency she won't like to practice in the US and would rather go back and practice in India. ( Sometimes she says if she does end up practicing in US then it would be part time outpatient practice)

Dilemma-
To R2I right now by quitting the residency or somehow go through 3 years of residency and return after the residency is done with??Thanks in advance

this too shall pass, if I were you would finish the resisdency and take stock of things. Your wife does have a chance to train in one of the best systems of medicine in the world and it would be prudent to take full advantage of it. cannot comment much on the rest of the issues.

RK

Hi,
If ur wife is doing residency in reputed university I feel she should to finish residency as the quality of training is defn better here.I know how a mother feels to work so hard and feel guilty of not being with her kid.I hav freinds who are in same situation and who keep telling everyday I don't know how I will finish this 4 yrs will I ???but few did few still doing.I chose to SHAM as my hubby is doing his fellowship here and am sure u will understand home wont be home if I also do fellowship,but in ur wife case she has ur support.In this country hard work knowledge is appreciated ,back home it's purely business now.U hav to be street smart to survive in India more than being qualified.we started this journey 20 yrs back at 37 yrs we are still not settled,but if I had started Mu journey in US which lot of my classmates did and very well settled.we did our post graduation superspecialist ion in India,we are here to get trained better.
Back home the corporate world is really competetitive,today given a chance we want to settle here but u know they won't accept our indian degrees,but we can't go thro the stress of residency at this age with two kids.But ur wife has started the journey she can finish it and still want to get back she can get back as she will be welcomed in India with US experience tag.
This is my view point

rajaram_telang;476427


My concern is- If we decided to move right now and not wait till the residency how easy/difficult it would be for me to switch career tracks in India. Also working from home for three years really means I just get to keep my job with no raises and no lead role. Does work from home negatively reflect on resume ....

Assuming that she is still in the first year - she should consider transferring to residency positions in the city where your employer is located ( so you don't have to work from home) Slots open up because people leave or have unfilled match/ post match positions. Easier to find positions in the city of your choice after a year of residency. The rules require that the last two years be in the same program. Also, important not to sign the second year residency contract too early, while looking to transfer- not until end of may , inspite of residency program directors subtle pressures. It will allow her to keep options open to transfer.

PS- Good In-service exam scores in the first year and decent rotation evaluations will be very useful for transfers.

Looks to me like its more the stress of the residency that is impacting on your wife's decision. Along with the stress/guilt of not spending enough time with 14 month old son.
We can argue everyway about Indian residency vs American/other western, but there is no doubt at all that seeing how another system works and training in a different context will NEVER detract from the doctor you will become. She will always be the richer for the residency. Being only 1 year into it, she is still clinging to her Indian training roots, but when she gets more into it she will be able to appreciate her evolution as a doctor better. Plus, I suppose the level of ardour reduces as one gets more senior.
For all docs,combining being a mother and training is always a hard time and has to be done somehow. We have all been there, done that ,got the tee. As raj said, this too shall pass. Would also second completing residency before return.
My pet peeve with indian residency is that the quantity is not enough- there is simply nowhere in the world where at the age of 24-25 yrs, if you've finished MBBS/MD or MS, you are considered ok to be an independent consultant. no sir, you need to be supervised more and mature.
Just support her and tell her she is doing a great job as a supermom and that you tooa re a superdad to support her so well
best of luck!!

Agree with all the docs here...wud just like to say I did my residency with two kids one 3 and had another when I was a first year resident. My husband was twice as busy as I was....plus inlaws or parents cud come just for 2- 3 months.It was indeed verrrryyy difficult but worth it. I would suggest her not to leave her residency . First year is the most difficult . It gets better later.
You just have to form your support system at work as well as at home. We were 3-4 indian girls doing residency in different program and we would be support system of each other. We had two nannies between 4 kids and we stayed near by. Even my american friends at my program had little kids and had same problems. Its just you have to help them and they would help you.

May be ask your wife to read this thread or encourage her to partcipate than you telling all this. Good luck.

Thanks so much to all replies and yes I will try to make my wife read this thread.