r2i forum

Hey Guys,

I m Srikanth, currently a resident in USA working for a software company (H1b. Haven't we all heard this before), married with wife sitting at home. I came here for masters and found a job soon after. Married my undergrad love ( :) ) and brought her to US which i hoped would be a wonderful beginning to a beautiful life. Fate it seems is without a sense of irony and what this move resulted in was suffering and lots of stress.
My wife was working in India prior to move and had to quit cause she couldn't get a transfer. She started looking for visa sponsorship the minute she landed in the US. She didn't have any luck in finding anyone to sponsor her visa for the first year but this year she did manage to get one. However, now she is having a hard time finding a job. Cause of her loneliness and no job she strongly feels that we should go back to India and settle down.

Personally, I'd love to go back to India myself but was hoping I would do it as soon as I was reasonably stable, financially that is. Buying a house was my gauge for financial stability. After working for 3 yrs, all i could manage was to pay off my student loan, pay of my parents loans and save about 10k USD. I m utterly confused on the whole R2i thing. On one hand moving to India would mean not ruining my wife's sanity and career on the other had it would also mean hitting a big reset button on my financial and professional life.

Any suggestions ???

Utterly confused soul
Srikanth

I am sorry for your issues. I was also there in the same boat in 2007. I had similar thoughts but eventually it all worked out in US, though it was little hard to start with.

I dont know what your field is and what is the field of your wife. If there is a place where you both can find jobs (in close proximity), then it would be best. Getting a job in IT in Bay area/NJ or NewYork Area wouldn't be very very difficult - but getting same in mid-west might be a real challenge. Think about it 9if there is some place better where can relocate.

Another option is to go for some Master programs or MBA. If you are a California resident, then there are many good courses with ~5K per yr of tuition fees - some of them even online ones (with decent credibility) http://odp.csusuccess.org/odp_finder/find-an-online-degree-program There would surely be similar programs at State University in other states.

If none of this works out, then pack your bags and return to India. Bottomline is that Life is precious and you both need to be happy.

deeppurple;478564I am sorry for your issues. I was also there in the same boat in 2007. I had similar thoughts but eventually it all worked out in US, though it was little hard to start with.

I dont know what your field is and what is the field of your wife. If there is a place where you both can find jobs (in close proximity), then it would be best. Getting a job in IT in Bay area/NJ or NewYork Area wouldn't be very very difficult - but getting same in mid-west might be a real challenge. Think about it 9if there is some place better where can relocate.

Another option is to go for some Master programs or MBA. If you are a California resident, then there are many good courses with ~5K per yr of tuition fees - some of them even online ones (with decent credibility) http://odp.csusuccess.org/odp_finder/find-an-online-degree-program There would surely be similar programs at State University in other states.

If none of this works out, then pack your bags and return to India. Bottomline is that Life is precious and you both need to be happy.

Hi,

Thanks for your response. Appreciate the honest opinion. I was hoping people with similar experiences share their views. The thing is she did take up exams like GRE, GMAT and applied for her Masters, She has an admit from one of the universities. The problem now being funding and most importantly her willingness to take up masters. :( . The only hope is she gets a job soon, her non-it (SAP implementation and End user) domain makes it harder to get a job. I have told her location is not a preference as i being from IT field can find work from pretty much anywhere. It seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel from where she stands, which i can totally understand.

Once again, appreciate the frank opinion.

Regards
Srikanth

Eventually, if you have to move back to India, that is fine. In the mean time, you can consider first finding a contract in a busy large metropolitan area. Then, she will have a few more options in terms of social life, and job options. I have been to Quincy, IL once in my life. It is pretty quiet there. What is your core strength? What does it take for you to move to NY/NJ or Virginia? I understand the east coast job market better. Let us continue the conversation here. Most of these problems can handled by joining or forming a small group of supportive people close to home. You need to build work life balance on a day to day basis. R2I is a distant event. What about the next few months, or years? In the mean time, find ways to have an active life as a family.

Vivekananda;478579Eventually, if you have to move back to India, that is fine. In the mean time, you can consider first finding a contract in a busy large metropolitan area. Then, she will have a few more options in terms of social life, and job options. I have been to Quincy, IL once in my life. It is pretty quiet there. What is your core strength? What does it take for you to move to NY/NJ or Virginia? I understand the east coast job market better. Let us continue the conversation here. Most of these problems can handled by joining or forming a small group of supportive people close to home. You need to build work life balance on a day to day basis. R2I is a distant event. What about the next few months, or years? In the mean time, find ways to have an active life as a family.

Hello,

Thanks Vivekanada, I totally agree on the whole social life thing, one of her major complaints is pertaining to lack of friends and family near by. I am currently located in Quincy,MA . a suburb of Boston. She had a couple of friends close by who all moved out to different places all over the US. my core strength is database and data warehousing development. I am willing to do whatever it takes to help her and thats the whole reason why i m considering R2i. you are also right in terms of finding people or forming groups of people close to home. ill see what i can do bout that. Once again thanks for your valuable input. For me, at this point, anything and everything is worth a shot.

Thanks
Srikanth

America is a disaster for people like your wife due to visa problem. If she sits at home for longer duration she may lose her skills and will be difficult to find a job in India. It is a tough situation asking a working woman to sit at home. Doing master is not a solution as it will cause more debt for you. What is the guarantee she will get a job after masters due to H1B hassle?

US is no longer attractive for doing Masters and for couples like you without GC. Try for 6m to 1 year and if there is no improvement send your wife back to India and later you can join. This is advisable as your financial situation is not sound and r2i without a job for both is risky. Here the job market is bad. Many big IT companies are holding back on new recruitment and silent layoffs are going on.

Old-Spice2;478623America is a disaster for people like your wife due to visa problem. If she sits at home for longer duration she may lose her skills and will be difficult to find a job in India. It is a tough situation asking a working woman to sit at home. Doing master is not a solution as it will cause more debt for you. What is the guarantee she will get a job after masters due to H1B hassle?

US is no longer attractive for doing Masters and for couples like you without GC. Try for 6m to 1 year and if there is no improvement send your wife back to India and later you can join. This is advisable as your financial situation is not sound and r2i without a job for both is risky. Here the job market is bad. Many big IT companies are holding back on new recruitment and silent layoffs are going on.

Hello,

Yes i surely agree with your suggestions and comments. My only hope is that she finds a job soon. Sending her back alone is also not a solution due to other family issues. The only disappointment to going back is that i would be doing so empty handed and would have to throw away all the founding blocks i built in so far.

Srikanth