r2i forum

Our R2I plans are sort of on a back burner. But a new dilemma is hounding us now. Need some advice.

We have been living at our current location in UK for about 10 years with a mini-R2I of 1 and half year thrown in between.

While in London last year and talking about R2I with some friends living there, a suggestion came forth that we should try to move in and around London to get the desi environment feel and hence shed some of the nostalgia. I have an opportunity through my work of moving to a location near London and that is where the dilemma has started. I have outlined the pros and cons of both the places as we see it

Current location

Pros

1. Life is good. A relatively relaxed life style with good work-life balance
2. Decent paying and not too stressful jobs for both of us, low expenses(real estate, we are still renting though + affordable child/after school care), kids in good school.
3. Home, Office & school within a 3 mile radius, so get lot of family time. We hardly spend 30-40 minutes in commute each day.
4. ES secured good grades in the 11+ Grammar school entrance exams and would pretty much get admitted to any of the top Grammar schools we have put down in the Transfer enrollment form. From hearsay, school education in the current location is better than in/around London
5. There is a small(compared to London suburbs) Indian community at the current location and living here for 10 years means we know most of them.
6. Much simple to settle here - just buy a house and we are there!



Cons

1. The weather is crappy(rain + wind) most of the year with very little to show for the elusive summer.
2. Coming from Indian metro cities though, this place feels very quiet for us.
3. Not many options when it comes to eating outside for Indian food.
4. Not many employers around here, so limited career choices. Can't see ourselves staying in the same job for more than 5 years.


Near London

Pros

1. A much livelier place with a comparatively bigger desi community and access to Indian eating joints in and around London.
2. Bit better weather, average temperatures are +5 above current location most of the time of the year, with high prospects of a real summer! A warm and sunny day is really a very big deal in this country!!
3. Better career opportunities
4. Direct flight to India!

Cons:

1. The biggest hurdle we see is school admissions. Forget Grammar school, getting admission to a decent state school seems like a herculean task. This might be the main deal-breaker.
2. Much expensive than the current location. (Almost double rent/sale prices for the same size house). That translates to less savings, although not a very important criteria for us since we could even out in the long run with higher earnings in jobs around London(assuming both are able to work)
3. If work location is central London then commute will be 2 hours plus each day. We already feel that we are constantly running to get things done during weekdays, it will get worse!
4. Whether both of us can work and maintain the same job profile is a big question mark with the additional commute.
5. Start the settling process all over again in a new city.


We asked the kids for their opinion on the options - current location, London, India. ES said current location or India but not London! YS says current location. Obvious since they have spent most of the lives here.

Although we can live comfortably in the current location, the thought that we need to(or can) do something better(socially + career wise) with our lives is not letting us to sit idle, as if life has an utilization factor! At the same

time, upsetting the apple cart might not be a good idea at this juncture. Are we just looking for problems where there are none, so that we can try to solve them and feel happy about it?

Whether we are being content or being complacent is a big question for us now.

Does living abroad amongst big desi community alleviate any R2I pangs? Any advice?

Hello Philospher

After reading first 80% of your dilemma - I will advise - Stay put where you are.

I too have been living in UK for past 10 years and with around 3 yrs of intermediate R2I :)

I have lived in London for 5 years and another 5 yrs in northern part (Edinburgh & Northwest).

As you say the deal breaker is excellent schooling that you have in your current place for your child. Forget getting similar kinds in/ around London. or be prepared to shell out ~15k/ child for private education + 2~3hrs of commute + agony of pathetic rentals in London or very high RE prices.


rest will type afterwards - my tea is ready and wife will loose patience soon :)

And yes I have been similar dillemma of moving to London bcos I am in same shows as you for last few yrs but every time decided against it

Philosopher;622964Our R2I plans are sort of on a back burner. But a new dilemma is hounding us now. Need some advice.

We have been living at our current location in UK for about 10 years with a mini-R2I of 1 and half year thrown in between.

While in London last year and talking about R2I with some friends living there, a suggestion came forth that we should try to move in and around London to get the desi environment feel and hence shed some of the nostalgia. I have an opportunity through my work of moving to a location near London and that is where the dilemma has started. I have outlined the pros and cons of both the places as we see it

Current location

Pros

1. Life is good. A relatively relaxed life style with good work-life balance
2. Decent paying and not too stressful jobs for both of us, low expenses(real estate, we are still renting though + affordable child/after school care), kids in good school.
3. Home, Office & school within a 3 mile radius, so get lot of family time. We hardly spend 30-40 minutes in commute each day.
4. ES secured good grades in the 11+ Grammar school entrance exams and would pretty much get admitted to any of the top Grammar schools we have put down in the Transfer enrollment form. From hearsay, school education in the current location is better than in/around London
5. There is a small(compared to London suburbs) Indian community at the current location and living here for 10 years means we know most of them.
6. Much simple to settle here - just buy a house and we are there!



Cons

1. The weather is crappy(rain + wind) most of the year with very little to show for the elusive summer.
2. Coming from Indian metro cities though, this place feels very quiet for us.
3. Not many options when it comes to eating outside for Indian food.
4. Not many employers around here, so limited career choices. Can't see ourselves staying in the same job for more than 5 years.


Near London

Pros

1. A much livelier place with a comparatively bigger desi community and access to Indian eating joints in and around London.
2. Bit better weather, average temperatures are +5 above current location most of the time of the year, with high prospects of a real summer! A warm and sunny day is really a very big deal in this country!!
3. Better career opportunities
4. Direct flight to India!

Cons:

1. The biggest hurdle we see is school admissions. Forget Grammar school, getting admission to a decent state school seems like a herculean task. This might be the main deal-breaker.
2. Much expensive than the current location. (Almost double rent/sale prices for the same size house). That translates to less savings, although not a very important criteria for us since we could even out in the long run with higher earnings in jobs around London(assuming both are able to work)
3. If work location is central London then commute will be 2 hours plus each day. We already feel that we are constantly running to get things done during weekdays, it will get worse!
4. Whether both of us can work and maintain the same job profile is a big question mark with the additional commute.
5. Start the settling process all over again in a new city.


We asked the kids for their opinion on the options - current location, London, India. ES said current location or India but not London! YS says current location. Obvious since they have spent most of the lives here.

Although we can live comfortably in the current location, the thought that we need to(or can) do something better(socially + career wise) with our lives is not letting us to sit idle, as if life has an utilization factor! At the same

time, upsetting the apple cart might not be a good idea at this juncture. Are we just looking for problems where there are none, so that we can try to solve them and feel happy about it?

Whether we are being content or being complacent is a big question for us now.

Does living abroad amongst big desi community alleviate any R2I pangs? Any advice?

If one is happy with one's life and does not aspire for something more, then there is no need to move.

Indeed that the idea has come to you means either you are not happy with current life or you would like to do some thing better.

Your description suggests either wales or Scotland. How ever picturesque, quiet and lovely, you are absolutely correct that opportunities are limited in these areas. One can lead a comfortable life just sticking here but for advancement in career, one does need to move to London.

Yes, the life will become much more hectic, commute not so comfortable, housing a lot more expensive and probably have to live in a cramped (compared to where you are moving from) accommodation. At the same time theatre scene is much better. There is a lot more happening in the Indian community and greater variety of food becomes available.
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In a theatre when drama plays, you opt for front seats. When film is screened, you opt for rear seats. Your position in life is only relative. Not absolute.

Dear dbs ji - each and every word you say is full of wisdom and experience. And just noticed your signature line re: relative position. How very true.

Really appreciate your inputs and words of pure wisdom and knowledge

Rgds

dbs;622977If one is happy with one's life and does not aspire for something more, then there is no need to move.

Indeed that the idea has come to you means either you are not happy with current life or you would like to do some thing better.

Your description suggests either wales or Scotland. How ever picturesque, quiet and lovely, you are absolutely correct that opportunities are limited in these areas. One can lead a comfortable life just sticking here but for advancement in career, one does need to move to London.

Yes, the life will become much more hectic, commute not so comfortable, housing a lot more expensive and probably have to live in a cramped (compared to where you are moving from) accommodation. At the same time theatre scene is much better. There is a lot more happening in the Indian community and greater variety of food becomes available.
________________________________________________________________________
In a theatre when drama plays, you opt for front seats. When film is screened, you opt for rear seats. Your position in life is only relative. Not absolute.

Probe yourself whether you have a dilemma or actually its boredom?

1. A much livelier place with a comparatively bigger desi community and access to Indian eating joints in and around London.
--> How often would you eat in desi joints in a month?
2. Bit better weather, average temperatures are +5 above current location most of the time of the year, with high prospects of a real summer! A warm and sunny day is really a very big deal in this country!!
--> But a mere +5 would make a difference?

3. Better career opportunities
--> Planning to make an immediate change ?
4. Direct flight to India!
--> Again how often one flies?

Its impossible to predict how one will react to hour+ commute in the crowd, unless one does it.
Indian restaurants look exotic from far, but once you move closeby, they look like neighborhood joints to be avoided. Trust me on that one.
Better keep them at exotic level!
Instead, why not take a house on rent for few weeks in London burbs and commute during peak hours and do all the theatre, movies, hotel etc?

My tuppence worth

In the UK I would rather live away from London. You have a social network where you are. Buy a nice house and settle down. Pick up some hobbies like walking /cycling etc that would take up your time locally.
London is great for the single person or a reasonably well heeled student. But crap for a family. Ridiculously expensive housing, and day to day expenses. Londoners are wrapped up in their own lives so much that they can appear quite rude to the outsider.
Many Indian movies now come to your city cinemas
Many cities have decent Indian restaurants which is a very different scene from earlier
As for theatre, you can always plan weekends to London and book a show ahead.
The beauty of Britain is its countryside not London

dbs;622977If one is happy with one's life and does not aspire for something more, then there is no need to move.

Indeed that the idea has come to you means either you are not happy with current life or you would like to do some thing better.

Yes, the aspiration is to do something better - at least career wise. Whether it would be better as a whole for the family life needs a crystal ball!

VS007;622989Probe yourself whether you have a dilemma or actually its boredom?

I don't think it is boredom yet. Maybe it is the now or never time with ES starting High school from September

[QUOTE]
1. A much livelier place with a comparatively bigger desi community and access to Indian eating joints in and around London. --> How often would you eat in desi joints in a month?



Once a week, with a lot of variety than here. More of food for the soul rather than for the body.
[QUOTE]

2. Bit better weather, average temperatures are +5 above current location most of the time of the year, with high prospects of a real summer! A warm and sunny day is really a very big deal in this country!! --> But a mere +5 would make a difference?


I meant 5 degree Celsius if you were thinking of Fahrenheit. That is considerable in the UK.

[QUOTE]
3. Better career opportunities --> Planning to make an immediate change ?


Not an immediate change, but the idea of available opportunities keeps it exciting!

[QUOTE]

4. Direct flight to India! --> Again how often one flies?


True that

[QUOTE]

Its impossible to predict how one will react to hour+ commute in the crowd, unless one does it.
Indian restaurants look exotic from far, but once you move closeby, they look like neighborhood joints to be avoided. Trust me on that one.
Better keep them at exotic level!
Instead, why not take a house on rent for few weeks in London burbs and commute during peak hours and do all the theatre, movies, hotel etc?

Yes, we have thought of that. Stay put and go to London for a week or so. That would eat up annual leaves. Something that can be done on weekends when living in London suburbs.

sumachechi;622996My tuppence worth

In the UK I would rather live away from London. You have a social network where you are. Buy a nice house and settle down. Pick up some hobbies like walking /cycling etc that would take up your time locally.
London is great for the single person or a reasonably well heeled student. But crap for a family. Ridiculously expensive housing, and day to day expenses. Londoners are wrapped up in their own lives so much that they can appear quite rude to the outsider.
Many Indian movies now come to your city cinemas
Many cities have decent Indian restaurants which is a very different scene from earlier
As for theatre, you can always plan weekends to London and book a show ahead.
The beauty of Britain is its countryside not London

Thanks Suma. We have been thinking on similar lines all this while. Maybe it is the 'familiarity breeds contempt' or 'Grass is greener' symptom for us.

We are already into trekking/cycling, racquet sports(tennis/badminton). You are right, Indian movies are quite regular in cinemas here. We are not much in to theatre.

I think it is the career aspiration + the thought of moving to a desi environment since R2I plans are almost dead. We had not thought of a long term life in the UK till now. Now that we need to, looking at the available options. And it is raining outside now with howling winds - very dull and depressing:(

Philosopher;623034..... And it is raining outside now with howling winds - very dull and depressing:(

Netflix and Chill.
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