r2i forum

I have a plan to R2I in few years time (mainly due to kids education).

I know that a lot of things will be negative compared to western life but I am happy to compromise on them.

However, I am very worried about India's recent social changes.

What I see myself and hear from friends/colleagues/relatives

* Sex before marriage is no longer taboo (well, there were always few incidents thruout history but now very common middle class people are no longer agree with this concept)
* Living together is rising at a high rate
* Divorce is rising at alarming rate! People are often tying knots just to claim alimony money
* Children are no longer showing usual respect to parents/elders
* Smoking by women (not just high society), public display of affection (kissing/touching), tattoos on body, piercing in awkward body parts etc. are on the rise. In fact in my last visit to India I saw more public affection incidents in Delhi that I find in London/Paris!

Now you may call me old fashioned, but these are some aspects of life for do not match with my viewpoint and I thought at least in India my kids will grow up following Indian culture.

Now after R2I, if I discover my kids are in a worse culture than Europe then that will be quite a setback. May be in western society, even today, Indians are more protective about our original values.:emcrook:

Thoughts please.

In Western countries , people do it openly. In India they do it behind the scenes. You decide which is better.

If protecting your children from the above points is your idea of them growing up in Indian culture, please stay put. I would have thought that Indian culture offers a lot more, but hey thats just me

A Big yes to all your concers is my reply. One of our friends got married after living in for 4-5 years with a 13 yrs older female. And he is not some random distant guy we know.
In fact, before marriage, back in 2001-2003....many of my lady colleagues used to discuss how their BFs visit them and they have a "complete" relationship. so, it is not new...its very very common now.

body piercing....well my classmates had it in 2000.

respect to elders....what is that? Arrogance is the buzz word.

Women....well... many of my office friends(gals) did it in the 2001-01 period mentioned and they still do. I did not and still dont.
As pazham said, you have to decide whether you want it behind the scenes or openly. In 15-20 years, even behind the scenes will be out in open.

If festivals, villages, farms, cows, temples, mob, closeness to family is your idea of indian culture, thn plz come. I feel, living in UK, closeness to family is not as bad as US. its only a 7 hrs flight.

imemyselfindian;278868If protecting your children from the above points is your idea of them growing up in Indian culture, please stay put. I would have thought that Indian culture offers a lot more, but hey thats just me

So, what does Indian culture offer? Can you give us your views?

Answer this question: Are you R2I'ing for yourself or for Kids?
If it is for Kids stay put, If it is for yourself, don't read dilemma thread instead start planning

My Roots;278885Answer this question: Are you R2I'ing for yourself or for Kids?
If it is for Kids stay put, If it is for yourself, don't read dilemma thread instead start planning

So True. Do not r2i for X,Y orZ. Do it for yourself.

If kids do not have to smoke, they wont. If they have to, no country is a non smoking country.
In my friend circle, 8 out of 10 smoked. we were together for 3 years. 2 of us didn't.

[Quote]Are you R2I'ing for yourself or for Kids?[/Quote]

Quite difficult to separate between myself and kids. If I do it for myself, then still kids are going to be affected - which in turn will affect myself. So chicken and egg situation.

I can teach the kids Indian values at home, but when they mix with other local kids, they will be influenced by western lifestyles (some of which are good some are bad).

mobi;278894Quite difficult to separate between myself and kids. If I do it for myself, then still kids are going to be affected - which in turn will affect myself. So chicken and egg situation.

I can teach the kids Indian values at home, but when they mix with other local kids, they will be influenced by western lifestyles (some of which are good some are bad).

Mobi, I think its all about parenting and inculcating the right values.
India comes with its own drawbacks. It is upto you to weigh and decide. But to answer your dilemma....yes, it is an extremely westernized society we are living in now.

My Roots;278885Answer this question: Are you R2I'ing for yourself or for Kids?
If it is for Kids stay put, If it is for yourself, don't read dilemma thread instead start planning

If R2I was that simple, we wouldn't need a forum like this.

I don't think it is a either-or situation here. One has to collectively look at R2I for the entire family than just one individual in the family. You cannot base India as a bad place for the kids even if the advise was relative to the OP. There are several good values for kids to grow up in India and vice-versa. I think OP assumed that India was stil the same place that it was when he left India. Little did he know that India and Indians have moved ahead while OP was counting on days, to go back to "his" version of India.