r2i forum

Hey Garamchai

How r things with u. I m returning to this forum after few weeks. When I feel like getting ideas and feeling home sick. I come back to get some motivation. Did u make a decision yet. Any planning for r2i?

Yeah , where did OP go ?

Thanks guys for caring. I just made a short India trip.
Guys I got to tell you, I left my life when I first landed in US. Living in US for me is like leaving my life. No matter how much BS one can say about India and it's negative things, my life is not here. There is no belonging-ness, no culture to live on, no relatives, no festivals to celebrate, are these less valuable than big homes/luxury car and all the positives of living in US. Kids can have better career in US, true, but don't they have lost childhood, will they have a life, what will be motivation for them. I have seen people in this country doing every good thing for their kids because according to them that is their family. Well I don't agree with that concept, to me family is my parents, my brother sisters, and them my immediate family, that is another thing there can be disputes in family. How am I going to buy the love my kids get from their uncle/aunties, cousins, grandparents?

Life is only once, try to live it or drag it. I know by now, that I can never make US as my home, never, it is just a place where I work.

So it is becoming more and more depressing for me , day by day, with the idea that it is becoming impossible to move back. To me if I get a decent job I am ready to risk it and will think that I never lived in US. But my spouse is making it very difficult.

Sorry guys I might written things out of order . I had limited time to edit it.

garamchai2go;588178Thanks guys for caring. I just made a short India trip.
Guys I got to tell you, I left my life when I first landed in US. Living in US for me is like leaving my life. No matter how much BS one can say about India and it's negative things, my life is not here. There is no belonging-ness, no culture to live on, no relatives, no festivals to celebrate, are these less valuable than big homes/luxury car and all the positives of living in US. Kids can have better career in US, true, but don't they have lost childhood, will they have a life, what will be motivation for them. I have seen people in this country doing every good thing for their kids because according to them that is their family. Well I don't agree with that concept, to me family is my parents, my brother sisters, and them my immediate family, that is another thing there can be disputes in family. How am I going to buy the love my kids get from their uncle/aunties, cousins, grandparents?

Life is only once, try to live it or drag it. I know by now, that I can never make US as my home, never, it is just a place where I work.

So it is becoming more and more depressing for me , day by day, with the idea that it is becoming impossible to move back. To me if I get a decent job I am ready to risk it and will think that I never lived in US. But my spouse is making it very difficult.

Sorry guys I might written things out of order . I had limited time to edit it.

Good note... .never mind about the order.

Where in India did you go? What did each day in India do to you ? Write about those.

garamchai2go;588178Thanks guys for caring. I just made a short India trip.
Guys I got to tell you, I left my life when I first landed in US. Living in US for me is like leaving my life. No matter how much BS one can say about India and it's negative things, my life is not here. There is no belonging-ness, no culture to live on, no relatives, no festivals to celebrate, are these less valuable than big homes/luxury car and all the positives of living in US. Kids can have better career in US, true, but don't they have lost childhood, will they have a life, what will be motivation for them. I have seen people in this country doing every good thing for their kids because according to them that is their family. Well I don't agree with that concept, to me family is my parents, my brother sisters, and them my immediate family, that is another thing there can be disputes in family. How am I going to buy the love my kids get from their uncle/aunties, cousins, grandparents?

Life is only once, try to live it or drag it. I know by now, that I can never make US as my home, never, it is just a place where I work.

So it is becoming more and more depressing for me , day by day, with the idea that it is becoming impossible to move back. To me if I get a decent job I am ready to risk it and will think that I never lived in US. But my spouse is making it very difficult.

Sorry guys I might written things out of order . I had limited time to edit it.

The good part is you have identified on why you are not happy in the US. You value the belonging , the culture, the relatives, the festivals India offers. R2I is not for everybody, but you seem to be a good candidate. My philosophy is live where you can be happy. The biggest challenge you have is spousal alignment. You will have to work on it. If you have a house in India and that's the one you would want to live in India if you R2I, try to get it prepared. Next trip to India show the house to your family. Its all about R2I marketing. You need to be sounding positive with a clear strategy and preparation whenever you make a case for R2I instead of lamenting over not being able to celebrate festivals, time with extended family etc. Is your wife close to her parents and her side ? If yes, get them aligned as well. Anyways I'm not making all this sound easy. You need to start working on it. That way you have only one thing to focus on - R2I and not about why you cannot R2I. Even if you R2I and find things did not work they way you thought it would, you can always return to US since you are a USC. Good luck.

garamchai2go;588178Thanks guys for caring. I just made a short India trip.
[SUB]Guys I got to tell you, I left my life when I first landed in US. Living in US for me is like leaving my life. No matter how much BS one can say about India and it's negative things, my life is not here. There is no belonging-ness, no culture to live on, no relatives, no festivals to celebrate, are these less valuable than big homes/luxury car and all the positives of living in US. Kids can have better career in US, true, but don't they have lost childhood, will they have a life, what will be motivation for them. I have seen people in this country doing every good thing for their kids because according to them that is their family. Well I don't agree with that concept, to me family is my parents, my brother sisters, and them my immediate family, that is another thing there can be disputes in family. How am I going to buy the love my kids get from their uncle/aunties, cousins, grandparents?[/SUB]

Life is only once, try to live it or drag it. I know by now, that I can never make US as my home, never, it is just a place where I work.

So it is becoming more and more depressing for me , day by day, with the idea that it is becoming impossible to move back. To me if I get a decent job I am ready to risk it and will think that I never lived in US. But my spouse is making it very difficult.

[SUB]Sorry guys I might written things out of order . I had limited time to edit it.[/SUB]

Sorry if this sounds too general but its very difficult to get others buy-in if you are desperate. Moreover desperation leads to unplanned actions. Best thing for you is to try to get yourself to a state where you are at peace with US life. The want for India need not diminish - but be positive that you will eventually move to India (don't question how that can happen) and talk to your spouse from a source of happiness.

You have to show why India is the place to be, not why US is not the place to be. The reasons might be the same but always talk from happiness towards happiness.

You are sad and desperate because you think its now or never. Life is much bigger and interesting than that. Every 5 years we lead a new life - so much changes in life. Keep faith be happy.

Also, as one previous poster asked (wisely, I must say) let us know why India works for you.

Finally, desperation, confusion - these aren't alien to me (or for anyone for that matter). It's hope that drives us. It's faith that keeps hope alive.

Another random thought. There are two big things which come as obstacle in our decisions for r2i - one is greed (to earn more) and another fear (fear of failing in India for both ourselves and our kids). Personally I see fear as much bigger hurdle which realistically is not unreasonable. Now question is - can we let fear win and keep us away from our home. Do we consider living in India as equal to living in Kashmir, where one of the wisest choice is to run.
Can we survive the failures in India? Now the bigger question - can we survive failures in USA if ever with less social support and less motivation? Probabilities can be different but how about outcomes? Will our kids guaranteed to be successful in US? And if they indeed are successful, whom are they going to share their success with?

garamchai2go;588261Another random thought. There are two big things which come as obstacle in our decisions for r2i - one is greed (to earn more) and another fear (fear of failing in India for both ourselves and our kids). Personally I see fear as much bigger hurdle which realistically is not unreasonable. Now question is - can we let fear win and keep us away from our home. Do we consider living in India as equal to living in Kashmir, where one of the wisest choice is to run.
Can we survive the failures in India? Now the bigger question - can we survive failures in USA if ever with less social support and less motivation? Probabilities can be different but how about outcomes? Will our kids guaranteed to be successful in US? And if they indeed are successful, whom are they going to share their success with?

What do u mean by failure? Wont u be able to provide food, shelter, good education to u and ur family in india? If u can, then which fear r u talking abt?

I think about similar scenarios and the fear of not getting a decent job and kids is always a concern. Sometimes, one has to get out of comfort zone and push it hard. I dont know about rest of u here but i live in canada in a very cold city. Winters are long and depressing. Not enough sunshine. Can't really teach my son to play ice hockey. Anyway will keep trying


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Harry37;588279I think about similar scenarios and the fear of not getting a decent job and kids is always a concern. Sometimes, one has to get out of comfort zone and push it hard. I dont know about rest of u here but i live in canada in a very cold city. Winters are long and depressing. Not enough sunshine. Can't really teach my son to play ice hockey. Anyway will keep trying
....

Just go skating with him. If he is really interested he could join with other children in school. Getting out often is the best way to get used to it. Cold climates (Regina?) have the big advantage of cross country ski possibilities, right outside the door. After half an hour on the skating rink or just simply trudging about with snow-shoes on, in the backyard, building a snow-man, a warm drink would taste great.... it could be rasam, chocolate or alcoholic.