Settling down in Blore, hopefully for good :)

[Plan2010]

Was too lazy to start a diary, but now I have lot of time at hand, started jotting down my thoughts to keep track of how the r2i is going. Since I typed it down thought of posting it here, just so?

Pre r2i:
Just the same as everyone, parents being in India was the major motivation. Husband applied for internal transfer and thankfully it worked out much better than what we had expected ? got an assignment in India where all major expenses are taken care of by the company ? rent/school etc. So we have less to worry about. Anyways, had some decent savings in India having caught the RE boom in India at the right time. So were prepared to r2i at this time whatever happens. No green card, 485 pending for past 5 years, don?t care much about it. Two USC kids, one school going, so a little worried about how the transition would be for him.
Days before r2i were hectic, packing, farewell parties, shopping etc.

[Plan2010]

Post r2i.
Day 1.
Reached Bangalore at 3 AM, unfamiliar place/faces/language…so different from usual trip from US to native where even the fragrance of the air is familiar, parents would be waiting outside to greet us. :( Customs stops us seeing all the luggage, but let go without any problem when we said we are moving back for good. Hour long wait outside the complex to get the keys, lots of mosquitoes to give us company
Finally got into the house, nicely furnished, time to relax a bit. Need to make some food for kids,..aah, no gas connection. Maybe it was better to go to a hotel . Talked to the agent who arranged the house she promised to get the gas ready in couple of hours, that’s good, let’s see if it’s delivered. Went to a hotel for couple of hours for food and freshening up. With some food in the tummy, it’s easier to attack any problem.
Next door neighbors’ drop in to say hi, that’s nice; we are in India. :)

Day 2.
Gas was delivered as promised, so basic necessities are met now – food, shelter and internet. Went around a little, its beautiful inside the complex, outside is a different story. But it’s walkable to the forum mall, that’s very good, kids had fun there, McD was very comforting for the older one – something familiar :). He was grumpy after I gave him a cold shower – Mommy, why did you get us to this place?? Went to food world and Big Baazaar to get some stuff needed immediately, not bad could get most of the stuff , no idli stand though – surprisingly could not get it in any of the shops I went to. Got a mosquito bat to keep the bug friends in check. Went to Malgudi Dhaba and ordered Andhra thali for lunch – never again!! Thankfully they gave a feedback form and I wrote –EXTREMELY spicy!
The major advantage of r2i, can call Mom, any time I want to. No time difference, but mind sometimes plays tricks – fil’s b’day coming up so as if in USA reminded dh to call the previous evening, because it’s already his b’day in India.

Day 3. Finished unpacking the stuff we’d brought with us, that’s a major task accomplished. Could not go anywhere as driver made some excuses, looks like he had some other trip.

Day 4. Dh’s first day to work, driver calls in at 8:30 to say he is sick!!! That’s very suspicious based on his past two day’s manner; anyways have to get another cab now. Ok, now I need to get some work done for office, there are lots of stuff still pending to be done at home which needs coordination with owner/agent/plumber etc. I still do not have a maid; house is starting to get dirty, so picked up the broom and mop and cleaned up a little. My friends in US would laugh, I’d already arranged a full time maid from US. :)

Day 5. Took a flight to Kerala, happy to meet everyone finally.
…………………

Day 11. First day of school for the older one..lots of new kids have joined in his grade so that’s good…it looks a little chaotic at school kids running around some still in cafeteria, I’m used to the first days of his US school where bell rings and teachers greets the kids and leads them into the class. Nothing like that here, his teachers arrive much later, by that time the elementary head has taken over and got kids from both divisions into one class and got some order. Anyways first fifteen days there are no studies, its other fun activities so maybe it’ll get better…. Went in the evening to pick him up, still chaotic, teachers are trying to line up kids to go to the bus. Nobody can hear what the teacher is saying…I’m getting a little concerned seeing all this…

Day 13. We have started sending kid in the school bus, its good that I don’t get to see what’s happening at school or I might change his school :), but he seems to be happy and settling in.
Finally got Vonage set up, connected with US friends who were eagerly waiting r2i report.
…..

Day 15. I can write pages and pages on the quality or lack of so for household help here, having interviewed probably around 10 maids now for babysitting (major necessity since I planned to work from home) and help with cooking (in anticipation of guests). Maids want a lot of money, and it’s all about money. If you ask them how much, you can see the calculation going on how much they need to make ends meet and then they will tell a figure. Not bad when you look at it from their view, but I didn’t see the same effort for getting the job done to my satisfaction.
Work tension is building as I’ve already missed couple of ETA’s. Not having anyone to take care of daughter is the major obstacle, work schedule is around her nap times. But then as soon as she sleeps plumber or electrician shows up for repairs. Finally decided it’s not worth taking all this tension and trying to juggle everything at once, decided to quit job. Feels good, now I’m out of a major headache of trying to meet ETA’s and interviewing three maids daily. That’s a big relief, and I’m glad that I can spend lot of time with my daughter finally. But once the initial busy days of setting up house is over, will have to find a way to keep myself busy, don’t have any plans to work full time but let’s see how it goes.
Immediate family is shocked that I quit job, because I did not discuss with anyone before, told them I quit after I’d sent a mail to office. Husband wouldn’t believe even when I told him, had to show him the mail, he felt very bad – which is good now I can blackmail him when needed. :) Mom thinks I’m under severe mental stress, promised to come over next day, called few times to make sure I’m ok.
………
Day 20. So there starts a new story, now things have settled down a bit. I’m mostly into the home maker role, can’t say I enjoy it, thinking of exploring other avenues.
Not being able to get around much is a major frustration, need to get used to the traffic and start driving. Daughter and me got the stomach flu bug so need to be careful of what we eat from outside.
Getting more concerned about school, son reported there is a new teacher now, and he got the school supplies – about 10 notebooks and just one math text book. Definitely need to met up the teacher and see how things work here.

Day 21. Getting r2i blues now and then, more so because of quitting job. Have given myself max of three months before starting on some gainful avenue, hope it works out.
Had been to hypercity – target model store – huge, well stocked with groceries and other stuff. Spend about 3k on groceries, kitchen storage stuff etc.
There is a birthday party coming up, so got a gift and asked at the counter do you give gift receipts. The cashier confidentally said yes, at the end of everything he gave me the receipt for all the stuff, so I asked him again what about the gift receipt for this. He called a helper and directed her to another counter, now I was a little confused but followed her. When I reached the counter found that the person there had gift wrapped the box. Gift wrapping is complimentary, that’s good had actually forgotten to get wrapping paper. But now I’ll have to check with my neighbor if she wants to keep it or not…

Day 22
Aaaah……When in doubt, always wear a Jeans…I was seriously wrongly dressed for the party. Back in US since we hardly wear traditional, most of the parties we decide among friends to go for saries or salwars, I guess the opposite is true here. Every single person was in the trendiest western wear and me in a most old fashioned salwar…:( Since most of my clothes were still in transit, didn’t have many options either. The party was cool with lots of fun for the kids, jumper, face painting etc.
So, following the new motto, wore Jeans to meet dh’s friends family. Husband gave me one look when I got ready and said you don’t have to wear this, these are pucca Indians. Well, I returned the look and said Jeans is cool anywhere. Well, wrong again… :)

Day 23
Parents are here, so that’s a major relief. Happy to see kids interacting with grand parents and both of them having fun. Parents are also happy since they don’t have to undertake the tedious journey to US.
Son loves the school, but I have some concerns, maybe more because his US school was exceptionally good and I’m comparing against it. Hopefully things will get better.

[VA_INDIAN]

Congrats again, dont worry kids will be fine. Yeah GC is a drag now, better to forget about it and live peacefully..

Was too lazy to start a diary, but now I have lot of time at hand, started jotting down my thoughts to keep track of how the r2i is going. Since I typed it down thought of posting it here, just so…

Pre r2i:
Just the same as everyone, parents being in India was the major motivation. Husband applied for internal transfer and thankfully it worked out much better than what we had expected – got an assignment in India where all major expenses are taken care of by the company – rent/school etc. So we have less to worry about. Anyways, had some decent savings in India having caught the RE boom in India at the right time. So were prepared to r2i at this time whatever happens. No green card, 485 pending for past 5 years, don’t care much about it. Two USC kids, one school going, so a little worried about how the transition would be for him.
Days before r2i were hectic, packing, farewell parties, shopping etc.

[My Roots]

Plan2010, good start.
Re: Jeans.... yah you are right. We NRI stick to salwars but things are totally different back in India:)

[jupiter_009]

plan2010, great to see you back. Glad that you are settling in just fine with your family. Please keep on writing about your post r2i experiences.

[Vid_Bangalore]

OP,
Thats wondefully written. You have almost completed your first month of settling down phase. Thats nice!
I too am R2ing to Blr in July..am currently looking for a full time maid (got a cook though)..Would appreciate if you can give any leads ..Which part of Blr do you live in?

You have a positive attitude and have family around. I am sure your R2I is for good.:)

[Plan2010]

Thanks everyone for the nice words...will keep posting when I get time.

Vid_Bangalore, We are in whitefield, where are you moving to? It's pretty easy to get maids, I was not aware of that initially so there were some glitches. The best way is to ask your neighbours, either they can refer, or check with their maids. Or you can check with the security, drivers or other staff, all of them have good connections.

The only thing is you have to be clear on what you want, since we are used to doing most of the stuff in US it's kind of hard to get used to the maid system. When the maids come in don't commit on anything right away. Tell them let me see how your work is and we can decide on a rate after that. Even if you don't say that, you can have some one come in decide on a monthly rate and at the end of the day if you don't like the work just pay for the days work and say need to check couple more people will call you if needed.

Lots of people are available for cleaning, but not so for cooking. But if you say you want cooking too, most people will say we can do that, just show us how to do for first couple of days. Tried couple of people for cooking, but I was not happy with how they cook, so decided to stick with just one maid for cleaning and negotiated with her for adding some cooking help - like cutting vegs and coconut scraping etc.

I guess thats enough Maid 101. :) Let me know if you need any other info.

[Vid_Bangalore]

Thanks everyone for the nice words...will keep posting when I get time.

Vid_Bangalore, We are in whitefield, where are you moving to? It's pretty easy to get maids, I was not aware of that initially so there were some glitches. The best way is to ask your neighbours, either they can refer, or check with their maids. Or you can check with the security, drivers or other staff, all of them have good connections.

The only thing is you have to be clear on what you want, since we are used to doing most of the stuff in US it's kind of hard to get used to the maid system. When the maids come in don't commit on anything right away. Tell them let me see how your work is and we can decide on a rate after that. Even if you don't say that, you can have some one come in decide on a monthly rate and at the end of the day if you don't like the work just pay for the days work and say need to check couple more people will call you if needed.

Lots of people are available for cleaning, but not so for cooking. But if you say you want cooking too, most people will say we can do that, just show us how to do for first couple of days. Tried couple of people for cooking, but I was not happy with how they cook, so decided to stick with just one maid for cleaning and negotiated with her for adding some cooking help - like cutting vegs and coconut scraping etc.

I guess thats enough Maid 101. :) Let me know if you need any other info.

Thanks for the tips..I will keep them in mind..:)

In my case, I will not be living in a high rise apartment, and with my experience last year ( I was in Blr for 4 months), it took a while to get a good maid..This time, we have a cook but I would love to have a full time maid too (additionally)...My mom has been checking with neighbours and other maids, but no luck so far..:(..I will be living in Jayanagar area to be precise..

[pm071]

"Aaaah??When in doubt, always wear a Jeans?I was seriously wrongly dressed for the party. Back in US since we hardly wear traditional, most of the parties we decide among friends to go for saries or salwars, I guess the opposite is true here. Every single person was in the trendiest western wear and me in a most old fashioned salwar? Since most of my clothes were still in transit, didn?t have many options either. The party was cool with lots of fun for the kids, jumper, face painting etc.
So, following the new motto, wore Jeans to meet dh?s friends family. Husband gave me one look when I got ready and said you don?t have to wear this, these are pucca Indians. Well, I returned the look and said Jeans is cool anywhere. Well, wrong again? "

This is funny I have had a similar experience like yours when I first came to India. Now my mantra is like yours wear jeans when in doubt or trendy simple sari...salwar never works.

[sumachechi]

Plan2010
Great stuff- so you stuck to your Plan!!!!!!
Enjoy- Kochi's loss, Bangalore's gain!