It's not intentional mis-spelling of Shakespeares's opening line of Hamlet but a RBee's book to chronicle her R2I thoughts along with her random/rambling buzzes.....
In a hindsight, this should have been my first thread/post after registration and I could have avoided lot of 'indecent' exposure,'cheap shots' and trips to Admin Mahoday :) !!!!
Note: This is not the usual diary to just chronicle R2I planning. I will be sharing my thoughts on wide variety of topics and if I think,any of those silly thoughts need further validation, will be opening new threads to the chagrin of ku klux klan, letter 'c' impaired ones :) I will be taking such random harmless potshots most probably at myself/my family/other's comments made towards me but if it's hurts people's sensibilities, let me know, I can tone down (I mean do the required editing) :)
I am not very good in articulating my view point precisely in one post as Englis communicasion is not my forte so go ahead and make fun of articulation style/spelling errors, but do it at your own risk knowing RBee's penchant/punctuality in getting back to people in her just 8 weeks, Bee bites and stings you know, jusht imagine (said in Krishh style) :).
Everything is kosher for people to express comments/opinions and to take reverse potshots but one special request is I will be sharing major reason for our dilemma in detail so request people to not spin that and hypothesize it when I am involved in other heated discussions elsewhere.
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee\'s buzzes
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
Episode #1:
Ours is a usual saga of countless people who have 'R2I' in back of their mind to find this site in search, then to start reading like crazy, then registering and then posting...
Husband/wife- Both MS->H1->GC->USC route, couple blessed with 2 kids one of each kind to complete the perfect parivar of hum do-humare do. Well paying jobs , loving relatives from each side, sone-pe-suhaga (cherry on the cake)..decides to R2I ...both people's employer has base in India .. so no problem..right ? Wrong. Problem is there, dilemma is there, apprehension on what future holds is very much there...
Unlike most people who decides to R2I, we were not stuck with proverbial X+1 syndrome , instead it was X+2 syndrome :). "Honey, can we talk about this now? No babe, after 2 years 'K? ', "Sweetie, we need to talk.. No babe, let us stay for 2 more years O.K., can you stop worrying? Our kids are small and can adjust easily" and so on but this counter increment of 2 stopped in late2008/early 2009.
2 reasons.
Reason #1. Husband lost his job in fortune-500 company (didn't get promised severance package either as company declared bankruptcy within a fortnight of major layoff! Ouch as money could have assuaged some hurt ego of layoff if not all :). He didn't stay in the sidelines for too long nursing his wound but the suddenness/randomness of F-500 company going bankrupt without even honoring severence/retirement money commitment with employees along with serious depletion of our 401K/investment portfolio hit him hard and made him look at our R2I plan seriously even though wifey was the one hinting him every 2 years !! But we had to wait for USC as the process to become USC was ongoing.
Reason #2 was the kid. Not our kids, not then. The 'kid' in me. I am the youngest in the house in either side; most pampered one; always missed very badly my parents/his parents(not exactly or not that much as my parents.. you get the drift)/siblings/countless mamas/mamis/atyas/mavshis/kakas/kakis(paternal and maternal aunts and uncles and their kids and my husband's side family). We had close knit relationship with 6-8 families as friends in bay area who used to fill that void to some extent but the financial tsunami of 2008/2009 displaced all of them. Few went to east coast for new careers, some returned to India and few to Austin,Texas. I really felt all alone in late 2009 when I bid goodbye to last of the family who relocated.
So mid 2009 was when our serious planning started with mainly research by the wifey ( yes, not the usual culprit aka man of the house instead LOH) reading all the financial threads here like gospel truth and taking notes and him reading too after recommendations (I think he registered too) :) and we would have R2Ied in October of 2009 when our USC was in hand along with school's plans for our kids. My employer had agreed to relocate me to Indian center without much problem and his too if lower grade/title was to be negotiated than he was seeking .
But woman proposes and god disposes... alas if there is a god..
Stay tuned for the next episode and some days , there may be 2 episodes of sitcoms and some days, regular broadcast might be postponed :)
Ours is a usual saga of countless people who have 'R2I' in back of their mind to find this site in search, then to start reading like crazy, then registering and then posting...
Husband/wife- Both MS->H1->GC->USC route, couple blessed with 2 kids one of each kind to complete the perfect parivar of hum do-humare do. Well paying jobs , loving relatives from each side, sone-pe-suhaga (cherry on the cake)..decides to R2I ...both people's employer has base in India .. so no problem..right ? Wrong. Problem is there, dilemma is there, apprehension on what future holds is very much there...
Unlike most people who decides to R2I, we were not stuck with proverbial X+1 syndrome , instead it was X+2 syndrome :). "Honey, can we talk about this now? No babe, after 2 years 'K? ', "Sweetie, we need to talk.. No babe, let us stay for 2 more years O.K., can you stop worrying? Our kids are small and can adjust easily" and so on but this counter increment of 2 stopped in late2008/early 2009.
2 reasons.
Reason #1. Husband lost his job in fortune-500 company (didn't get promised severance package either as company declared bankruptcy within a fortnight of major layoff! Ouch as money could have assuaged some hurt ego of layoff if not all :). He didn't stay in the sidelines for too long nursing his wound but the suddenness/randomness of F-500 company going bankrupt without even honoring severence/retirement money commitment with employees along with serious depletion of our 401K/investment portfolio hit him hard and made him look at our R2I plan seriously even though wifey was the one hinting him every 2 years !! But we had to wait for USC as the process to become USC was ongoing.
Reason #2 was the kid. Not our kids, not then. The 'kid' in me. I am the youngest in the house in either side; most pampered one; always missed very badly my parents/his parents(not exactly or not that much as my parents.. you get the drift)/siblings/countless mamas/mamis/atyas/mavshis/kakas/kakis(paternal and maternal aunts and uncles and their kids and my husband's side family). We had close knit relationship with 6-8 families as friends in bay area who used to fill that void to some extent but the financial tsunami of 2008/2009 displaced all of them. Few went to east coast for new careers, some returned to India and few to Austin,Texas. I really felt all alone in late 2009 when I bid goodbye to last of the family who relocated.
So mid 2009 was when our serious planning started with mainly research by the wifey ( yes, not the usual culprit aka man of the house instead LOH) reading all the financial threads here like gospel truth and taking notes and him reading too after recommendations (I think he registered too) :) and we would have R2Ied in October of 2009 when our USC was in hand along with school's plans for our kids. My employer had agreed to relocate me to Indian center without much problem and his too if lower grade/title was to be negotiated than he was seeking .
But woman proposes and god disposes... alas if there is a god..
Stay tuned for the next episode and some days , there may be 2 episodes of sitcoms and some days, regular broadcast might be postponed :)
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
RBee;417107But woman proposes and god disposes... alas if there is a god..
I thought RK is the one who handles disposing!!
Hope you dont mind the banter. If you do, lemme know and will move it to BCC
Keep it coming, honey!
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
Sai_R2I;417111I thought RK is the one who handles disposing!!
Hope you dont mind the banter. If you do, lemme know and will move it to BCC
Keep it coming, honey!
Everything is Kosher.. No comment is Hijack :)
RK.. Don't mention. He has special place and all but RBee promised to forget things(I mean crushes) and start on fresh slate( and start finding new crushes), so staying away from all 'men' and 'prude' people :)
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
Episode #2 : So far, RBee and her family decides to R2I singing aa ab lout chalein (let's return now) and then hit their first major block.. What was that?
Getting USC was one main reason why our return was postponed till Oct 2009.
Our house( even being in good school district) we had brought in mid 2005, had depreciated a little bit too (may be 6%) and with RE fees and some minor upgrades to make it attractive for buyers, the loss could have been 15%. When investment portfolios/401K were hinting 25-30% loss, 15% loss should not have been a big deal but because of equity, it seemed a lot and even now seems a lot. Plus human psyche acts differently especially women's :). Home is where women's heart is and the loss to that affects women more than men IMO. Also RE loss is a real loss of cash when sold in bear market unlike paper losses for investments. That's why I was researching whether we should sell it or rent it and ride the wave if the house price comes back to healthy 3% appreciation every year to break it even. (Even now, the loss may be in 8-9% loss territory with all direct and hidden costs but if we can rent it, we can mitigate the losses a little bit, haven't decided yet what to do).
My one kid's borderline AS problem has been already shared in the thread discussing AS; I have shared the whole experience here so won't explain it further. But in mid 2009, the diagnosis was not done formally nor our apprehension had started. Sept 2009, when the kid was in 3rd grade was the first hint from teacher that there is something wrong with our child and needs formal assessment.. But the assessment , evaluation process, parent child advocacy, specialist's referral, MRI scan which dragged on till Dec2009/Jan 2010 had major effect on us and our confidence. I started wondering can we R2I ever when child has this condition knowing how Indian society has little tolerance for people 'different'.
For my selfish reason to be with family, is it fair to affect the development of our own child who can thrive in a society with higher tolerance for people with borderline oddities ? These were my initial thoughts which were solidified with.. Long and painful discussions with manager to cancel transfer and the transition plan, same thing with DH and his employer...sleepless nights...lot of finger pointing that we ignored hints early stage etc etc.. Conclusion was, forget every planning and just focus on getting help the kid needed...Reading this board was the last thing in our mind in that turmoil. After initial fighting over differences, slowly we came to agreement that we have to stay in US till our kids are on our own and if needed further or permanent stay for this kid and forget R2I altogether...
So another LIA decision.. another aspiring R2I but never fulfilled ...big deal...what is new?
But No, there is another turn... stay tuned...
Getting USC was one main reason why our return was postponed till Oct 2009.
Our house( even being in good school district) we had brought in mid 2005, had depreciated a little bit too (may be 6%) and with RE fees and some minor upgrades to make it attractive for buyers, the loss could have been 15%. When investment portfolios/401K were hinting 25-30% loss, 15% loss should not have been a big deal but because of equity, it seemed a lot and even now seems a lot. Plus human psyche acts differently especially women's :). Home is where women's heart is and the loss to that affects women more than men IMO. Also RE loss is a real loss of cash when sold in bear market unlike paper losses for investments. That's why I was researching whether we should sell it or rent it and ride the wave if the house price comes back to healthy 3% appreciation every year to break it even. (Even now, the loss may be in 8-9% loss territory with all direct and hidden costs but if we can rent it, we can mitigate the losses a little bit, haven't decided yet what to do).
My one kid's borderline AS problem has been already shared in the thread discussing AS; I have shared the whole experience here so won't explain it further. But in mid 2009, the diagnosis was not done formally nor our apprehension had started. Sept 2009, when the kid was in 3rd grade was the first hint from teacher that there is something wrong with our child and needs formal assessment.. But the assessment , evaluation process, parent child advocacy, specialist's referral, MRI scan which dragged on till Dec2009/Jan 2010 had major effect on us and our confidence. I started wondering can we R2I ever when child has this condition knowing how Indian society has little tolerance for people 'different'.
For my selfish reason to be with family, is it fair to affect the development of our own child who can thrive in a society with higher tolerance for people with borderline oddities ? These were my initial thoughts which were solidified with.. Long and painful discussions with manager to cancel transfer and the transition plan, same thing with DH and his employer...sleepless nights...lot of finger pointing that we ignored hints early stage etc etc.. Conclusion was, forget every planning and just focus on getting help the kid needed...Reading this board was the last thing in our mind in that turmoil. After initial fighting over differences, slowly we came to agreement that we have to stay in US till our kids are on our own and if needed further or permanent stay for this kid and forget R2I altogether...
So another LIA decision.. another aspiring R2I but never fulfilled ...big deal...what is new?
But No, there is another turn... stay tuned...
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
RBee;417112 so staying away from all 'men' and 'prude' people :)
How about 'man' but not 'prude'.
-
LotsOfRokda
- Posts: 204
- Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:48 pm
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
RBee, you write well..hope this thread creates the buzzzz you fnd missing on the forum ;)
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
Ok Rbee,
Just keep buzzing and thinking how you can change the paradigm. Dont get too mired in little things. I personally think India might be a good place for you with all the social support. Now with social support you also get more interference ( like in our case), so just remember every thing good or bad has its extremes and almost every good or bad thing comes in a package.
on a lighter note I wonder which smart guy suggested that name for your diary.:p
RK
Just keep buzzing and thinking how you can change the paradigm. Dont get too mired in little things. I personally think India might be a good place for you with all the social support. Now with social support you also get more interference ( like in our case), so just remember every thing good or bad has its extremes and almost every good or bad thing comes in a package.
on a lighter note I wonder which smart guy suggested that name for your diary.:p
RK
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
RBee;417112Everything is Kosher.. No comment is Hijack :)
RK.. Don't mention. He has special place and all but RBee promised to forget things(I mean crushes) and start on fresh slate( and start finding new crushes), so staying away from all 'men' and 'prude' people :)
lets see if we practice some critical thinking and arrange the words in bold in any other way
I staying away from all men and start finding new crushes
really? :)
RK
To Bee or not to Bee ? ....RBee's buzzes
RBee;417112staying away from all 'men' .. :)
:13: are you out of your mind!! wait, are you crossing over to the other side.. jus saying.. you know, the hint hint on ganga-jamuna.. Just wanna keep things clear, honey, when I said we could be friends - I really meant friends.. you get it, right.. just making sure.
RBee;417112'prude' people :)
ignore such attempt to needle - you will find name dropping of Elizabeth, prude, susheel sowbhagyavathi every time we "talk" "the talk"