Starting a new diary to jot down the trials and tribulations we are facing as we start new chapter of life in India.
As usual, my husband came to US in 96 through one of the major companies in India. We got married in 98 and I followed him soon after.Left the Indian company and joined an American firm soon after.We didn't even consider applying for GC till 2002.Our fist kid (girl) was born in 2001 and that is when we considered the option of applying for GC.We applied for GC in early 2002 and got GC on hand by 2004 May.I started working for sometime in early 2003 after i got my EAD.Quit my job in 2004 when my second one(boy) was born. Was home for 2 years with kids and started back on Job front in 2006 when son was 2 years. I was working till July 15th.
My hubby switched many companies in between and presently commutes to NYC.Eventhough we were in US for close to 16 years, we didn't and couldn't save enough money to retire in India or to even consider retirement even at 60 .:-).But we did enjoy US life to the fullest. When I first came, I hated US as I couldn't see many people outside and anyone to talk to. Slowly we got used to it and loved it till the last day we were there.US is my second home, which gave me a lot of confidence, can do attitude and many friends. We did make some real estate investments mostly by the pushing of parents.We did travel a lot, had great circle of friends, community, ran small marathons as a family, participated in many fund raising events, camped in many places .Basically American life we enjoyed and spent tons of money on it.Any regrets. No not at all.
Why R2I? I honestly don't know. We always wanted to R2I some day to give kids some exposure to Indian Life.We wanted kids to see India,experience India as they are basically Indians first, then Amercians.We also wanted kids to know their grand parents and cousins before it is too late.We don't know how long we will be here. But we wanted to give this a try and we jumped on it with out much detailed planning and preparation.
We didn't R2I because we think kids will be spoiled in US. I think place dosent matter for kids to get spoiled. Kids can get spoiled in India or in US.
We didn't R2I because we think Indian System of education is great. I think US system is better as it involves teaching concepts more
We didn't R2I to rise kids in Indian culture. Indian culture is kind of lost. What we see today is an imitation of west. We can teach kids values wherever we are. we don't need to R2I for that.
We did R2I to fulfill our desire to R2I.
When we told people that we are going to India, many of our friends couldn't believe it, because we were so assimilated with the US .Many even commented that anyone can return but us.Once we decided the time frame, things started moving quickly. The most difficult decision for me was to quit my close to 6 digit salary job.Even my Boss was shocked to hear it asking me many times why and if there is any marriage problems or something :-).
My company gave me an offer to Join Chennai operations, but couldn't do it because of location issues, school issues and all.So i quit my job. It was very difficult for me as I loved my Job and people around me.They all gave me an emotional Farewell. I felt so bad that day thinking what the heck am I doing.Even the top boss called and asked me if i need some more time to think and if I am 100% sure this is what you want to do. It got me so confused and worried.
We daily told our kids, how different school system in India is, how much competition is there, how you could get sick easily if they eat or drink at the wrong places. I was very worried for my 11 year old kid, who was entering 6th grade as she was so used to US system.She was so upset initially to leave her close friends and school here. She is basically shy kid who needs a long time to get comfortable in a new surronding.My son didn't show much resistance or excitement. He was kind of Ok.
When the day was getting closer, many of our friends even thought we wild cancel the whole thing. Only when i gave my resignation, the reality hit everyone.
Even my own brother who lives in US couldn't believe it. His comment was every one keep saying they will go back, but none will do it or even try it. He was happy and sad.All our friends chipped in and we made some last minute small trips, ate out and had fun till the last day.
We landed 2 weeks back.First day itself we went to school and got everything ready. Kids started school the third day. First day of school was nerve racking for everyone. Dismissal time kids came out smiling and seemed so excited an happy. They like the new school even though they hate some things like writing a lot of notes etc. This was my biggest fear and it just melted away the first day itself. Even Grand parents were so relieved after kids first ay of school. Their reaction gave grand parents some confidence that this is for real and we will be around for some time.
I am still getting adjusted.We lived in a rented house now.Neighbours are so friendly.TVM city have a garbage disposal issue.They are not picking up garbage of past 6-8 months now.We have to get rid of garbage by ourselves. Flats have their own system. The house we live in is fully tiled outside too and don't have any space to bury food waste or decomposing trash.I found one woman who comes twice a week and i send all the garbage with her.Streets are comparatively neater even though garbage is huge problem. People seems to have adjusted to this issue and find their own ways to dispose trash. Many people have decomposing units in their house and burn paper and light weight plastic. Somtimes the air smells of burning plastic :-(. Comparing number of people,households and the time since garbage was not picked up in Trivandrum,I would expect piles of garbage everywhere . But that is not the case. Streets are ok not so bad.Compared to other cities I think this is very good.One positive thing happened is I reduced the amount of trash generated by us.Always thinking of ways to recycle..:-)
Getting a 2 wheeler soon.Running small errand is easy on 2 wheelers. we have a problem of registering the vehicle here in TVM because we don't have a permanent address here for long enough. Many red tape hassles. It is mind numbing to see these issues coming up. So got an agent to deal with these kind of nuisances.Also taking driving lessons for past one week. Agent is taking care of everything . We just give him money :-)
I miss my friends in US and the easy life there.Still in initial stage. Hopefully will adjust.
I have to start looking for a job .Not sure how it will work out.Will keep updated once in a while...
Our R2I experiences ..
Our R2I experiences ..
Awesome! Congratulations on successful move with kid at 6th grade.
Our R2I experiences ..
Great focus. Congratulations and good luck with the move!
Our R2I experiences ..
Good luck with the settling down phase.
My son will also be a 6th grader when I move. Any issues to keep in mind when moving with an older child ?
My son will also be a 6th grader when I move. Any issues to keep in mind when moving with an older child ?
-
CulturalWisdom
- Posts: 92
- Joined: Tue Feb 28, 2012 7:29 am
Our R2I experiences ..
Brownie;465584
Why R2I? I honestly don't know. We always wanted to R2I some day to give kids some exposure to Indian Life.We wanted kids to see India,experience India as they are basically Indians first, then Amercians.We also wanted kids to know their grand parents and cousins before it is too late.We don't know how long we will be here. But we wanted to give this a try and we jumped on it with out much detailed planning and preparation.
We didn't R2I because we think kids will be spoiled in US. I think place dosent matter for kids to get spoiled. Kids can get spoiled in India or in US.
We didn't R2I because we think Indian System of education is great. I think US system is better as it involves teaching concepts more
We didn't R2I to rise kids in Indian culture. Indian culture is kind of lost. What we see today is an imitation of west. We can teach kids values wherever we are. we don't need to R2I for that.
We did R2I to fulfill our desire to R2I.
When we told people that we are going to India, many of our friends couldn't believe it, because we were so assimilated with the US .Many even commented that anyone can return but us.Once we decided the time frame, things started moving quickly. The most difficult decision for me was to quit my close to 6 digit salary job.Even my Boss was shocked to hear it asking me many times why and if there is any marriage problems or something :-).
My company gave me an offer to Join Chennai operations, but couldn't do it because of location issues, school issues and all.So i quit my job. It was very difficult for me as I loved my Job and people around me.They all gave me an emotional Farewell. I felt so bad that day thinking what the heck am I doing.Even the top boss called and asked me if i need some more time to think and if I am 100% sure this is what you want to do. It got me so confused and worried.
We daily told our kids, how different school system in India is, how much competition is there, how you could get sick easily if they eat or drink at the wrong places. I was very worried for my 11 year old kid, who was entering 6th grade as she was so used to US system.She was so upset initially to leave her close friends and school here. She is basically shy kid who needs a long time to get comfortable in a new surronding.My son didn't show much resistance or excitement. He was kind of Ok.
When the day was getting closer, many of our friends even thought we wild cancel the whole thing. Only when i gave my resignation, the reality hit everyone.
Even my own brother who lives in US couldn't believe it. His comment was every one keep saying they will go back, but none will do it or even try it. He was happy and sad.All our friends chipped in and we made some last minute small trips, ate out and had fun till the last day.
We landed 2 weeks back.First day itself we went to school and got everything ready. Kids started school the third day. First day of school was nerve racking for everyone. Dismissal time kids came out smiling and seemed so excited an happy. They like the new school even though they hate some things like writing a lot of notes etc. This was my biggest fear and it just melted away the first day itself. Even Grand parents were so relieved after kids first ay of school. Their reaction gave grand parents some confidence that this is for real and we will be around for some time.
I am still getting adjusted.We lived in a rented house now.Neighbours are so friendly.TVM city have a garbage disposal issue.They are not picking up garbage of past 6-8 months now.We have to get rid of garbage by ourselves. Flats have their own system. The house we live in is fully tiled outside too and don't have any space to bury food waste or decomposing trash.I found one woman who comes twice a week and i send all the garbage with her.Streets are comparatively neater even though garbage is huge problem. People seems to have adjusted to this issue and find their own ways to dispose trash. Many people have decomposing units in their house and burn paper and light weight plastic. Somtimes the air smells of burning plastic :-(. Comparing number of people,households and the time since garbage was not picked up in Trivandrum,I would expect piles of garbage everywhere . But that is not the case. Streets are ok not so bad.Compared to other cities I think this is very good.One positive thing happened is I reduced the amount of trash generated by us.Always thinking of ways to recycle..:-)
Getting a 2 wheeler soon.Running small errand is easy on 2 wheelers. we have a problem of registering the vehicle here in TVM because we don't have a permanent address here for long enough. Many red tape hassles. It is mind numbing to see these issues coming up. So got an agent to deal with these kind of nuisances.Also taking driving lessons for past one week. Agent is taking care of everything . We just give him money :-)
I miss my friends in US and the easy life there.Still in initial stage. Hopefully will adjust.
I have to start looking for a job .Not sure how it will work out.Will keep updated once in a while...
Very thoughtful and considerate reasons when going back to India. You really thought about it strongly before making the move and that's very clever. And I assume you are keralite too :D. Not hijack the thread, but I am just wondering why you chose Trivandrum to settle, not to scare you, but I heard there are a lot of bad things that happen there and is one of the few places in Kerala where cunningness is very common...my cousin used to work at Technopark (he works in Chennai now) and he had some bad experiences with the city. But it must be nice living in the capital city. Wish you and your family the best. Am sure it will turn out fine. Assuming you have a visa, or greencard, you can still visit America if you miss it terribly :)
Our R2I experiences ..
punjabi;465653Good luck with the settling down phase.
My son will also be a 6th grader when I move. Any issues to keep in mind when moving with an older child ?
Hi,
Once we decided to go back, we started telling our kids about the edu system in India.How it is different from US act to give them a picture. We also promised to support them anyway possible to ease the transition.My hubby told my girl to tell him if someone treats her badly and he will come there in no time and make sure that will be the last time these happens.In short we gave them confidence that we will take care of most issues but they have to try their best.I think girls will have more difficult time transtioning than boys. DD is ok with school but she had a break down yesterday at a shop when my Son was trying to irritate her by putting his hand on the ice-cream cooler and touching her with the wet cold hand. She started crying that it is dirty water he has on his hand and he is touching her and she never wanted to come to dirty India in the first place. My hubby just consoled her and held her for sometime without trying to preach. She was ok after sometime when we bought her an ice cream fro
m the very own dirty cooler... :-).
In short , just listen to their grievances and make them feel that we are there in each step.Kids will be fine. trust me, it is us who have trouble...
Our R2I experiences ..
CulturalWisdom;465755Very thoughtful and considerate reasons when going back to India. You really thought about it strongly before making the move and that's very clever. And I assume you are keralite too :D. Not hijack the thread, but I am just wondering why you chose Trivandrum to settle, not to scare you, but I heard there are a lot of bad things that happen there and is one of the few places in Kerala where cunningness is very common...my cousin used to work at Technopark (he works in Chennai now) and he had some bad experiences with the city. But it must be nice living in the capital city. Wish you and your family the best. Am sure it will turn out fine. Assuming you have a visa, or greencard, you can still visit America if you miss it terribly :)
We wanted to settle at temporarily in Kerala as we are Mallus.We thought we can transition easily if we are in home town.We were contemplating Kochi and TVM. But Kochi is too expensive compared to TVM and more crowded.TVM was chosen mostly by chance.We might move later depending on where my Husband get a Job.Yes shrewd people are everywhere in Kerala. You have to learn then tricks and move accordingly.If you are a non local, you can get cheated easily. People are running to make money and don't care the way they reach their goals.
We will visit US as we have a house there in April one school closes. We are USC
Our R2I experiences ..
Hi Brownie,
nice account. good luck. TVM is a lovely place to live but unless things have changed in the last 6-7 years, I am surprised you chose that from a career perspective (unless you want to start a business or you have lots of money. But since you said that you had invested in properties based on parents advise, wouldnt you have enuf to retire, the way properties have appreciated in India. my dream would be to have enuf to retire to a place like TVM). A nice tiled roof house with a nadav mittam....
nice account. good luck. TVM is a lovely place to live but unless things have changed in the last 6-7 years, I am surprised you chose that from a career perspective (unless you want to start a business or you have lots of money. But since you said that you had invested in properties based on parents advise, wouldnt you have enuf to retire, the way properties have appreciated in India. my dream would be to have enuf to retire to a place like TVM). A nice tiled roof house with a nadav mittam....
-
ephemeraldream
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:42 pm
Our R2I experiences ..
Good luck Brownie. The first few months are hard.....just hang in there. We did almost the same thing as you except that my daughter just started school.
Our R2I experiences ..
It is almost 3 weeks since we came. Things are going better than anticipated. We are still settling in.We had to wait one full week to get broadband connection after paying the full amount in advance. As someone pointed out earlier in other diaries, never pay full amount in advance for any services.we made the mistake and had to call these people 3-4 times daily for one week to get our connection. I was expecting about 2 week delay , but it got ready in 1 week. So no complaints.
Kids have blended smoothly in school. My son , in 3rd grade, even started to talk in Indian accent. I am amazed by the way kids blended in without much problems. They do complain about heat, humidity, and bugs.It is supposed to be monsoon in Kerala but no rain in sight. So it is very humid and hot. I guess global warming is taking a toll...:-(
We adults are still adjusting . Tough time with heat.Got a 2 wheeler . i am still nervous to take it out.I used to ride about 15 years back.But now i feel so nervous. Driving lessons for 4 wheeler is gong smoothly. I have the confidence that i can take the car now.
Out neighbors are really helpful people. One of my neighbor asks her son who is in 12th grade to runs small errands for me. I don't know how to thank these people. They are all amazed why we came back. I feel tongue tied when my relatives and neighbors ask me why we came back.I keep saying we want our kids to live in India. But they all look at me like I am out of this world and I feel stupid and ridiculous.God only knows hat everyone thinks why we came back.This is one of the most hardest things for me to explain.
My inlaws are so happy, they keep sending homegrown fruits and vegetables like passion fruits, mangoes, bananas,grapefruits(pink and white), pineapples, coconuts , jackfruits etc through someone all the time as we live severalty in the city and they are in native place. They are so happy that someone home are eating these homegrown crops which are usually distributed to someone as there are no one to eat these at home.My kids used to love jackfruits(even from the cans in US) and passion fruit juices from Jamba Juice. Now they are tired of eating these in abundance.. :-)
Trivandrum has so many new malls and eateries. Everyone seems to be spending lots of money. It is good for economy.Our expenses are out of control mainly because of the initial settling down expenses. So far it is 4 lakhs plus we spent on home appliances,services,schooling etc and still counting..Hopefully it will slow down.
Life is ok.Never even thought about going back :-)
Kids have blended smoothly in school. My son , in 3rd grade, even started to talk in Indian accent. I am amazed by the way kids blended in without much problems. They do complain about heat, humidity, and bugs.It is supposed to be monsoon in Kerala but no rain in sight. So it is very humid and hot. I guess global warming is taking a toll...:-(
We adults are still adjusting . Tough time with heat.Got a 2 wheeler . i am still nervous to take it out.I used to ride about 15 years back.But now i feel so nervous. Driving lessons for 4 wheeler is gong smoothly. I have the confidence that i can take the car now.
Out neighbors are really helpful people. One of my neighbor asks her son who is in 12th grade to runs small errands for me. I don't know how to thank these people. They are all amazed why we came back. I feel tongue tied when my relatives and neighbors ask me why we came back.I keep saying we want our kids to live in India. But they all look at me like I am out of this world and I feel stupid and ridiculous.God only knows hat everyone thinks why we came back.This is one of the most hardest things for me to explain.
My inlaws are so happy, they keep sending homegrown fruits and vegetables like passion fruits, mangoes, bananas,grapefruits(pink and white), pineapples, coconuts , jackfruits etc through someone all the time as we live severalty in the city and they are in native place. They are so happy that someone home are eating these homegrown crops which are usually distributed to someone as there are no one to eat these at home.My kids used to love jackfruits(even from the cans in US) and passion fruit juices from Jamba Juice. Now they are tired of eating these in abundance.. :-)
Trivandrum has so many new malls and eateries. Everyone seems to be spending lots of money. It is good for economy.Our expenses are out of control mainly because of the initial settling down expenses. So far it is 4 lakhs plus we spent on home appliances,services,schooling etc and still counting..Hopefully it will slow down.
Life is ok.Never even thought about going back :-)