r2i forum

I never thought that I would write a R2I diary but well I am so....
I came to US 5.5 years back on H4 Visa. Also had a 4 months baby when I came here.
I don't know what should I say about my experiences in US. I have just been running from here to there throughout all these years. I used to work back in India so when I came here I was obviously very overwhelmed. New baby,new country plus the loneliness. First few months were really cool.. The malls, the people, the roads and all the glamorous things here.
After a few months, I found myself crying over the phone when I was talking to my mother..I am a very talkative person as such and here I was all alone at home,the whole day with no one to talk to and hubby gone for his job...I slowly started getting frustrated and irritated...and depressed....After a year or so ,I applied for H1 and got approved. The consulting company that I worked with gave me quite flexibility on the projects and the rates that I could work on ....Thanks to that I made really good money... Earlier I had some goals for myself, I know they sound silly but still just to keep me motivated...I decided my next project rate should always be greater than the first one and I also achieved that till the point that there was no more 'up' to go... I was lucky enough to get jobs every time closer to home so I could concentrate on family as well....I cook twice a day and that gives me some satisfaction :) Meanwhile, my baby grew up ...Started going to preschool and started public school .....
We came here with the thought that we will go back in couple of years...But got sucked in the dollar dreams and the real estate so high in India , we thought let's stay for some more years ...
I made some local friends but then most of them moved on due to jobs .....Now since my child has grown so much I want to give him some kind of stability and settlement...or may be somewhere I want to give it to myself. I know for sure that if I stay here ,buy a house ,live an American dream, I would not be happy....I am very social and talkative but I don't' know how to mix with these people. I feel comfortable with Indian people...It is not like that I don't talk with them. I do talk a lot but it is mostly on the superficial level.
When they talk about some American history or football, I go blank... I feel left out...I agree I don't know anything about cricket too but then I know who tendulkar is and similarly who Sania and Saina are :)
Also, some years in between have not gone so well on an emotional level....I have literally felt caged sometimes when I could not share some of my feelings with anybody...I am glad I am out of that ... when I was in India for my vacation I have been so happy ...really happy...
Here what I do is wake up, pack lunches, go to office,stare at the computer,browse and come back home...I feel relieved when I see my husband and my child at the end of the day .. I make dinner, clean up the house a bit and the evening just passes by so quickly... I am so fed up of those potlucks , get together where everybody just wants to show off something or the other....I know it works for some people but doesn't for us...
I know India has its own set of problems, but whatever they are I feel at home when I am there .... When I look back,I see that US has given my nice money, good memories from my vacations, also shop till you drop experiences... but it also gave me lot of loneliness ...It is a good country ...but now I am missing India ...
So finally we have decided to move back in April 2011...Still have to decide on schools,jobs...
Thanks for reading ...I know I was just blabbering so if there are any errors , I apologize for that...

I can relate to you in so many ways except that I have 2 kids now. Reading all the threads here is motivating me all the more. Target is this summer and I am soo ready to go back HOME. Lets catch up so that we could share info. How old is your kid? All the best to you and to me too for the big move.

Bhavishya;359709
Here what I do is wake up, pack lunches, go to office,stare at the computer,browse and come back home...

Believe me! This is what most of us do too!

A very candid post! Good luck to you in your R2I.

PeterGriffin;359749Believe me! This is what most of us do too!

A very candid post! Good luck to you in your R2I.

PG, I know what you mean but sometimes this routine and loneliness can get to you....I remember if I had a fight with my husband , I used to cry in front of the screen too sometimes...and then i used to beat myself up for being such a loser to cry in front of my computer screen :( There are not just that many friends here that I can share openly with..In India,even if you are in office there are so many distractions , so many people to talk to , so many issues to think of , mom at a call away without any time diff that i forget abt any fight i had....:)

Bavishya,
Good luck with your move. I can totally relate to the empty and lonely feelings one gets. Few act on the issue and make a change for good. Wish you well
-Back to roots

Good luck with your move!

I liked your simple, true and very straight forward to the point about your dairy, you just hit the nail at the right spot. Many Indians are very much in the same situation as you are but there are very few who think and make such bold decision to R2I :)

I wish your R2I plan be very successful!

Since the time I have started working in the US , I have seen many Indians who always try to show that they are different by using some fake accents or talking all things Amrican even when they meet you in private.... Why ...People all over the world know where Bangalore is, they are doing yoga and respect other cultures... So why all this...Once I tried to talk with a college friend of mine in US, she was so changed...Not that there is something bad about it but I guess she was overwhelmed with what US had to offer...
Or sometimes I think , maybe I think I am not suited to US or maybe I am tad too emotional...one of those emotional fools type.... I tend to take everything to the heart :)

On the financial front, We finally realized that there is no magic number per se...It is like what you have is never enough....I have seen my monthly salary grow from 5k to 9k but it also gave me increased stress and increased isolation... ..Its all balanced you know...If fate gives you something,it takes something by equal measure...When I got my first 5K paycheck I was so thrilled and excited and told my hubby that I will stop working once I get 8-9K ...I knew at that time that it was unachievable but now after I got that , did I stop working ...NO ... So I have learned that happiness is not a destination it is a journey....and to enjoy small moments of life...for everything else there is mastercard ;)

Am I happy at the end or should I Say the grand start ?? Yes..Because I have seen myself getting stronger and realized that no amount of money can give peace and happiness in your family. It is just love that binds you more strongly with each other...

I am bold and aggressive by nature...or that is what people say to me....But I have learned to be more humble and respectful of people's situations...in the past years...
I am not even 30 yet but I feel these past years have given me experiences on all fronts.... It has taught me that life is finally not a fairy tale after all...:)

Bhavishya;359768Since the time I have started working in the US , I have seen many Indians who always try to show that they are different by using some fake accents or talking all things Amrican even when they meet you in private.... Why ...People all over the world know where Bangalore is, they are doing yoga and respect other cultures... So why all this...Once I tried to talk with a college friend of mine in US, she was so changed...Not that there is something bad about it but I guess she was overwhelmed with what US had to offer...

Wait till you speak with desi 20 somethings that have western exposure in India. They are the NRA's (non-resident americans).:))

Bhavishya,
All the best for your R2I. :)