r2i forum

Caution! Long post!


We R2Id in August 2006 and R2Ad in Dec 2006. I did not post our experience in the ‘Any disappointments…’ thread because I dislike calling any of my experiences disappointments. I love life the way it is…we make some decisions, some work out some don’t. I was a member of the R2I MSN club but was not very active.

About us:
We are a couple in our 30s, no kids and had worked in the US for about 10 years. We had the itch to return like everyone we had met. The itch sprang from good memories of the India we knew, boredom at work, having lived a materialistically-good-but-not-satisfying-enough-for-the-soul-kind-of-life. We read about people chucking the comfortable life and living their 'dream'. We read about people with passion. We read about Scot and Helen Nearing who had returned to the roots somewhere in Vermont and lived 'The Good life'. We read about ecology and conservation. We read about teaching kids at school and influencing young minds, educating them about the values we held true.

We read a lot.

We decided to jump off the cliff. We had a home where parents lived, had enough to live off (of course, barring a medical catastrophe). The plan was to go back, not work in IT, live in a remote/second tier city and teach in a school. A simple good life. What we did not know was living the simple good life requires strength. A lot of it. And I did not know that I did not have it. I had to try to find out.

Our Journey
After a week's rest at home, we traveled all over Central and Southern India to look at schools. We saw three and together they gave us a good picture of the situation that existed. All were residential schools.

One was a 100 year old school. All went well until I saw kids being caned by teachers and kids (prefects) in the school mess, which ironically had a picture of Gandhi smiling down benevolently. I was not strong enough to stay and change the system. We expressed our disapproval, the powers that be passed rules and cautioned, but it had soured my experience.

Next was a school that was just starting up. It would be a 'non-teaching' school where kids would learn by doing/experimenting/observing. The advertisement was wonderful; we had a great interview and were almost ready to call it home. Until ...we realized that it would be a 24X7 job. The teachers would also be matrons at night. Again, I did not have the strength to give up my entire life. I wanted time for myself - a good night's sleep and time for reflection. I wanted a job but did not want to do it every minute of my life.

The third and last school was a RICH residential school ( annual fee : 4-7 lakhs) where the teachers and students were kept under surveillance ...the teachers more than the students, and it required a bond. The schools amenities were great, US style and we could have had a cushy life .. but one parent we happened to meet had his child in school, and had some inside contacts- he gave us all the info we would have needed from an insider...and well we were not ready for what it demanded.

So finally we came back.

Am I disappointed? No... sad at the pollution, population growth and all the problems people live with everyday... Yes, things are deteriorating fast...but, at 36 I can't even change myself...I did not have the strength to stay and change the system.
When we traveled, we used the local bus and railways...We wanted to experience life as it was there for an average Indian. Trains were late, bathrooms were well ...you know... waiting at the railways station one night with mosquitoes trying to suck your life out was all part of the experience. It was what it was. But had I found the strength, and the right place this would not have bothered me. I would probably have lived on and not minded it. We just did not find the right place to put ourselves. Our parents on the other hand were getting very antsy with our choice of life. It was they who were extremely disappointed with the way we had decided to lead our life.


Will we go back?
Maybe...if we get stronger or if we can make peace with the chaos ...and we need that even today anyway just to live life. We plan to work at it, we read more now - but different kind of books, we try a little to do the right thing....it's hard but I see no other way.

Had we taken the time to explore a little bit more without upsetting our family, we might have found our groove there.

Right now, I am happy I came back. I am happy I went. Both were tough but they were personal rites of passage.

Good post and an honest/clear account, on your part.

Good for you that you did what you wanted to do - R2I and R2A!

Great honest post!

I think probably this is the first post where someone walked on a different path and still came back feeling happy about the overall experience.

Good account. I commend you for posting this and for trying it out. If you want to take the hard road then you need the strength to handle it. If however, you R2I taking the soft road then it is doable.

Thanks for honestly sharing your experience. Life is tough sometimes..But India needs more people like you I guess..
I like it when you say "I don't want to term it as a disappointment"...
How did you manage the job scenario back in the US? Had you quit your job when you left? If yes, did you come back to the same place in US that you were living in before? Just curious..
Anyways, good luck to you and your family in your future endeavours. :)

Ihdnanna

Excellent post - honest, realistic - something from the heart as well to do a good deed.

I am reminded of a wonderful saying

"Any attempt can lead to failure. Not attempting guarantees failure".

I am glad you gave it a good shot, may I say though, visiting 3 schools may not have been enough? I do not know how much preparation you had done by contacting say, 20-25 schools prior to leaving for India. Again, hindsight is 20-20 vision :)

I am going through a similar situation and am close to deciding where I want to teach and/or do research. I know it will work out and I know that there are obstacles - I shall oversome them - one at a time. I am passionate about it, but, at the same time cognisant of the "real" situation there - my visits and lectures there in the last couple of years showed me that there are institutions with remarkable people and facilities doing great research, while there are others that need a shake up - sort of awakening.

Cheers and please keep posting.

Nattusbs

Nattusbs,
Very good post...Like I said before, India definitely needs more people like you..:) ..As long as you know that it is not an easy path and as long as you are mentally prepared to face the challenges, you don't have to worry! You will come out of it successful. Good luck to you too with your endeavours.
Cheers!
V_B

I feel great for your honest post. It made my day. I wish more people try as you did or Nattusbs is planning to do. It?s surely not an easy path but we need to try. We need more and more honest people like you to make a difference.
I undertook a similar journey recently and came back within a few months. I failed in my mission. But I got an invaluable experience which is lot more valuable than reading a thousand articles or hearing from another person, about my own country.
I hope to join your journey one day. Best of luck. :emrose:



?It's easier to die for one?s country but tougher to live and do something for it.?

Thanks DL, Freespirit, everyone!

Vid_Bangalore,
We had moved not ever imagining we were going to be back so soon. So we quit our jobs, sold the car and the little furniture we had and moved back with a couple of suitcases. We had not accumulated much, I guess because we did not have kids...After a few months of trying, we wrote back to our companies to see if they were still looking for people. They were and we came back. They were happy to have us and we were glad to come back to something we knew. It was uneasy because we expected scoffs/ridicule....we got some, but there were others who knew we had to do this.

Nattusbs,
All the very best as your start your journey. Yes, 3 schools was far too less. But we were fighting a lot of odds. Our insecurities and trying to explain to our parents why we wanted to work for 7,000-12,000 Rs. while we could be earning much more in the industry. As I said, we lacked the strength.

Jay, I read your posts...I think you went through quite a traumatic experience. Someday you will probably look back at it as trial by fire...as long as you are happy now it's OK. I came back because I did not want to be 50 in India with regrets. I went because I did not want to be 50 in the US with regrets.

Guess, "no-kids" made your trail far easier, It may be real tough for someone with kids(espicially if they are >7-8 yrs) to R2I & R2A if R2I does not work.