r2i forum

Recently (3months back) we returned from US to India. I am staying with my parents untill May first week. My husband is in Hyd.
I have 9 yrs boy and 2 and half yr girl. My daughter is adjusted very well and she is learning so many things.
I am having tough time with my son. Especially with his behaviour, he is not respecting my parents, not able to mingle with other kids. He was saying he likes US only and asking me to take him back.
I am not sure how to handle with these situations?

Dont worry,
Things would get better. Keep on talking to him in a nice way ...ignore his tantrum....slowly they forget. I have been though this. After 4 years my elder one still say he would go back to US but he has developed fondness for India too. There is nothiing wrong in them liking one place over other but dont accuse them all the time. Give them space and respect their feelings.

Hasi, may be moving to your own house/apt would work, instead of living with parents?
Trust me kids grown up in USA need their space too since they mostly grew up with just mom and dad around. Too many people around for them for long time in the initial phase may not be a good idea.

Do lot of fun things with them, like take them around to near by stores, buy whatever they want initially(pampering).

Hope this helps.

My Roots;384612Hasi, may be moving to your own house/apt would work, instead of living with parents?
Trust me kids grown up in USA need their space too since they mostly grew up with just mom and dad around. Too many people around for them for long time in the initial phase may not be a good idea.

Do lot of fun things with them, like take them around to near by stores, buy whatever they want initially(pampering).

Hope this helps.

my 2 cents, my kids threw tantrums for a few days and then adjusted better when we were in a combined family home. The overwhelming love teaches them to be nice to each other much faster. the longer you give them with the americanised methods the fussier they get.

Rk

#4, I agree but I think it also depends on kids age as well. Anyone<5 years is easy to handle. OP has 9 yrs old and also resistant.

Hasi;384413Recently (3months back) we returned from US to India. I am staying with my parents untill May first week. My husband is in Hyd.
I have 9 yrs boy and 2 and half yr girl. My daughter is adjusted very well and she is learning so many things.
I am having tough time with my son. Especially with his behaviour, he is not respecting my parents, not able to mingle with other kids. He was saying he likes US only and asking me to take him back.
I am not sure how to handle with these situations?

Is it possible that what you are seeing is only a symptom? Perhaps you may need to peel some layers and make some adjustments yourself to address the root cause.

Past the age of 8 kids are seeking validation and approval, this is often achieved within friendship groups. Leaving their friends, changing schools, giving up coveted sports/class positions and various hard-earned opportunities will seem a daunting prospect. Although they will understand the idea of belonging somewhere other than where they are presently living, they may not have the skills to accept the idea of settling down in India easily. They may have concerns about their capability to adjust to a new culture, fear of the unknown may leave them feeling insecure, unconfident and experience anxiety.

You may have already tried these, nonetheless here are some suggestions that may help:

Be respectful of their emotional needs. Your son may be experiencing a whole range of emotions including; anger, sadness, relief and excitement. You may need to help him through this emotional battlefield and allow him to express his fears and concerns openly. It can be beneficial to hold regular family meetings where you all discuss your feelings, questions and worries. Once a kid feels respected and listened to they become more open and willing to seeing your (parents) point of view.

Emphasize on the benefits to the whole family.

Anticipate some of the concerns that may arise and have responses prepared.

Encourage open communication and honesty.

Encourage them to keep a diary; this is a non-confrontational way for them to work through their concerns.

Suggest exchange visits with new friends.

Best Regards,
Adarsh Dattani
Universal Relocations, LLC