Diary of dreams !
Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:47 pm
Life in US is absolutely fantastic. I will recommend every individual, especially from India to go abroad to experience life in developed countries. From utter chaos to calmness/orderliness. From senseless to sensible. From polluted to non-polluted. From scarcity of resource to abundance. From poverty to luxury. From Ambassador cars to BMWs. I could go on, this comparison list is probably huge or endless. In short, Living in US was like living a dream.
We lived that dream. We experienced how beautiful life can be. We experienced the comforts. We drove fancy cars. We flew across countries/continents. We lived life king-size. Although the size may differ with others, compared to the life we lived in India - it's definitely huge.
We R2I'ed to Bengaluru after almost a decade long of my stay abroad, 6 years for my spouse and both my kids (5 years, 1year) USC. The dream is well over. Did we make the right decision? I don't know. Yet. Only time will tell. But, I'm doing my best to make it the right decision for my wife, kids, parents and self. Yes, in that order.
Background:
The same old computer science engineer story. Nothing great. Average Joe. Fun loving types, socialize easily with drinkers/smokers type. Identified bunch @ college as trouble-makers. College was fun. I determined thats how it is going to be and it was. At the same time, fulfill parents dreams - study a$$es off (just) before exams, graduated without any F in any subject throughout.
It was tough finding a job in India late 90s. Found a job after (literally) 100s of interviews - in Bangalore, then moved to Chennai. Calendar Year turns 2000 and don't know what stuck (I dont believe in astrology, btw). Company asks Passport for a gig in UK and I didn't have one. I was happy in India having loads of fun already, never dreamt of going to those Hollywood places. In my mind, those are meant for bright minds and graduates with distinction. How wrong I was. Went to UK, then another gig in US, then married, then kids and now R2Ied, all this in last 10 years. Quite eventful.
Why R2I?
Wifey wanted it. Things have become increasingly hard for us to manage day-to-day life with two kids, no support and both of us working. Almost $3k in daycare expenses every month. She wanted to quit working for kids. And if she quits, we can't stay in the US. She feels US is not the place for SAHM and I agreed.
Aging parents. Both my parents and in-laws stayed with us for two 6-months period. I had no interest in getting them on their 3rd trip to US after witnessing what they go through during their stay in the US. IMO, it was like jailterm for them with ocassional site-seeing outings, mostly drive-by's as they can't walk even short distances. Trip to India every 2 years made economical sense and I ensured that alteast. Phone them every week. Recent visits to India fueled my r2i. While we enjoyed the comforts of the US, I found out that their day-to-day living only marginally improved with the $s that I send. They get uninterrupted power, alright. The improvements are that they have money to get things done - but still running around to get it done. What happens when maids don't show up? What happens when either of the two falls sick? They don't even disclose it since we live so far away.
Sense of belongedness. Although we love US, we didn't fit in well. Ocassional potlucks with desi families, weekend trips to desi grocery stores, desi buffet lunch followed by calorie burning walks in the malls, yearly once or twice barbeques at a park/beach, yearly vacation to a big destination and to India every alternate year. We had enough of it.
Parenting. It's tough when both are working and especially if the work involves having a team @ offshore. Mommy busy preparing food, Daddy busy on the email/phone-calls and Kids busy being kids. Between working, cooking, packing lunches, getting kids ready to school, cleaning, chauffeuring - we hardly find enough time and steam to go on everyday to parent the kids as much as we should. Our goal was to outsource cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, etc... upon R2I and spend quality time with kids.
Accelerated R2I
Some on this forum might be familiar that I had a 5-year plan to r2i in 2015. But it was accelerated to just 1 year. Primary reason is that I got very good offer from my company, read more here. I bought myself 6 months time for me to wind down from the US and relocate to Bengaluru. During this period, I sold my house, car, donated all furniture to goodwill and gave some to friends who needed it, cancelled all services, unwanted bank accounts, credit-cards, insurance, netflix, cable, internet, phone/vonage, etc...
Made quick trips to Vegas/GrandCanyon and to a hill place for some snow play for the kids. We ate-out at will, went to favorites restaurants like Buca di beppo, Cheesecake Factory, CA pizza kitchen, Chicago Pizza, Panda Express, Subways, Taco Bell Chalupas for my daughter, etc...
Shortlisted the items that I need to buy and ship to Bengaluru for budgetting/planning purposes. I ended buying the following items:
Gift items for friends/relatives, iPads and accessories, Xbox games, Blu Rays, Wireless Router, Home Theater AV + Speakers, HDMI cables, Optical Fibre, 60-inch Plasma and 47-inch LED TVs, External hard-drive, Internal hard-disk, Wifi Adapters for desktop and LG TV, batteries, torch lights, clothes for kids & wifey, perfumes for him & her, home decorative items like wall hangings, mirror, artificial plants, kitchen stuffs like kitchen towels, crockery set, non-stick cookware set, Kids Toys, swimming accessories, bike, skaters/scooters.
It was quite a shopping spree. Amazon really helped me out big time on a lots of stuff.
We went with AIRes for shipping who was pre-selected by my company for relocation services. All we had to do was point at stuff that we want it shipped - they did the rest. Even including listing the contents.
We lived in the condo that we sold only little over 2 years. Got some realtor's flyer in mailbox, called him casually, he showed up, found him to be really smart talker, listed it, staged it, sold it, done and dusted in flat 6 weeks. When walking out the door one final time and handing over the keys, I was feeling sunken - quite unsure if we are doing the right thing.
Selling the car was a challenge for me. I drove a big family car, 2009 model, used it for only 2 years, not much mileage on it. Listed on Craigslist - had some inquiries. One came to see but didnt buy because he cant afford it. I drove to carmax for a quote - they lowballed 5k below than I expected and KBB's good condition value. Just 3 days before flying out one-way to Bengaluru, I drove to the dealer for a buyback quote - he came up with exactly the same amount as Carmax. I showed him carmax quote and he offered me 1k more than that. Deal done. Walked out in 45 mins with the cheque. I loved this car. I almost had tears handing off the keys and walking away from it. Friend drove me back and I'm indebted to all those who helped us wind down in the US.
We boarded the plane back to bengaluru. My wife and I wondered if we are doing the right thing. I promised her that I'll try very hard to make it work. We have no other option. We are not USC or have GC to come back when we wanted, if we wanted. This whole thing (going back) is a very bold decision, she said. I told her this on the plane - yes, the dream is finally over. But, only to provide another oppurtunity to start another one.
We lived that dream. We experienced how beautiful life can be. We experienced the comforts. We drove fancy cars. We flew across countries/continents. We lived life king-size. Although the size may differ with others, compared to the life we lived in India - it's definitely huge.
We R2I'ed to Bengaluru after almost a decade long of my stay abroad, 6 years for my spouse and both my kids (5 years, 1year) USC. The dream is well over. Did we make the right decision? I don't know. Yet. Only time will tell. But, I'm doing my best to make it the right decision for my wife, kids, parents and self. Yes, in that order.
Background:
The same old computer science engineer story. Nothing great. Average Joe. Fun loving types, socialize easily with drinkers/smokers type. Identified bunch @ college as trouble-makers. College was fun. I determined thats how it is going to be and it was. At the same time, fulfill parents dreams - study a$$es off (just) before exams, graduated without any F in any subject throughout.
It was tough finding a job in India late 90s. Found a job after (literally) 100s of interviews - in Bangalore, then moved to Chennai. Calendar Year turns 2000 and don't know what stuck (I dont believe in astrology, btw). Company asks Passport for a gig in UK and I didn't have one. I was happy in India having loads of fun already, never dreamt of going to those Hollywood places. In my mind, those are meant for bright minds and graduates with distinction. How wrong I was. Went to UK, then another gig in US, then married, then kids and now R2Ied, all this in last 10 years. Quite eventful.
Why R2I?
Wifey wanted it. Things have become increasingly hard for us to manage day-to-day life with two kids, no support and both of us working. Almost $3k in daycare expenses every month. She wanted to quit working for kids. And if she quits, we can't stay in the US. She feels US is not the place for SAHM and I agreed.
Aging parents. Both my parents and in-laws stayed with us for two 6-months period. I had no interest in getting them on their 3rd trip to US after witnessing what they go through during their stay in the US. IMO, it was like jailterm for them with ocassional site-seeing outings, mostly drive-by's as they can't walk even short distances. Trip to India every 2 years made economical sense and I ensured that alteast. Phone them every week. Recent visits to India fueled my r2i. While we enjoyed the comforts of the US, I found out that their day-to-day living only marginally improved with the $s that I send. They get uninterrupted power, alright. The improvements are that they have money to get things done - but still running around to get it done. What happens when maids don't show up? What happens when either of the two falls sick? They don't even disclose it since we live so far away.
Sense of belongedness. Although we love US, we didn't fit in well. Ocassional potlucks with desi families, weekend trips to desi grocery stores, desi buffet lunch followed by calorie burning walks in the malls, yearly once or twice barbeques at a park/beach, yearly vacation to a big destination and to India every alternate year. We had enough of it.
Parenting. It's tough when both are working and especially if the work involves having a team @ offshore. Mommy busy preparing food, Daddy busy on the email/phone-calls and Kids busy being kids. Between working, cooking, packing lunches, getting kids ready to school, cleaning, chauffeuring - we hardly find enough time and steam to go on everyday to parent the kids as much as we should. Our goal was to outsource cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, etc... upon R2I and spend quality time with kids.
Accelerated R2I
Some on this forum might be familiar that I had a 5-year plan to r2i in 2015. But it was accelerated to just 1 year. Primary reason is that I got very good offer from my company, read more here. I bought myself 6 months time for me to wind down from the US and relocate to Bengaluru. During this period, I sold my house, car, donated all furniture to goodwill and gave some to friends who needed it, cancelled all services, unwanted bank accounts, credit-cards, insurance, netflix, cable, internet, phone/vonage, etc...
Made quick trips to Vegas/GrandCanyon and to a hill place for some snow play for the kids. We ate-out at will, went to favorites restaurants like Buca di beppo, Cheesecake Factory, CA pizza kitchen, Chicago Pizza, Panda Express, Subways, Taco Bell Chalupas for my daughter, etc...
Shortlisted the items that I need to buy and ship to Bengaluru for budgetting/planning purposes. I ended buying the following items:
Gift items for friends/relatives, iPads and accessories, Xbox games, Blu Rays, Wireless Router, Home Theater AV + Speakers, HDMI cables, Optical Fibre, 60-inch Plasma and 47-inch LED TVs, External hard-drive, Internal hard-disk, Wifi Adapters for desktop and LG TV, batteries, torch lights, clothes for kids & wifey, perfumes for him & her, home decorative items like wall hangings, mirror, artificial plants, kitchen stuffs like kitchen towels, crockery set, non-stick cookware set, Kids Toys, swimming accessories, bike, skaters/scooters.
It was quite a shopping spree. Amazon really helped me out big time on a lots of stuff.
We went with AIRes for shipping who was pre-selected by my company for relocation services. All we had to do was point at stuff that we want it shipped - they did the rest. Even including listing the contents.
We lived in the condo that we sold only little over 2 years. Got some realtor's flyer in mailbox, called him casually, he showed up, found him to be really smart talker, listed it, staged it, sold it, done and dusted in flat 6 weeks. When walking out the door one final time and handing over the keys, I was feeling sunken - quite unsure if we are doing the right thing.
Selling the car was a challenge for me. I drove a big family car, 2009 model, used it for only 2 years, not much mileage on it. Listed on Craigslist - had some inquiries. One came to see but didnt buy because he cant afford it. I drove to carmax for a quote - they lowballed 5k below than I expected and KBB's good condition value. Just 3 days before flying out one-way to Bengaluru, I drove to the dealer for a buyback quote - he came up with exactly the same amount as Carmax. I showed him carmax quote and he offered me 1k more than that. Deal done. Walked out in 45 mins with the cheque. I loved this car. I almost had tears handing off the keys and walking away from it. Friend drove me back and I'm indebted to all those who helped us wind down in the US.
We boarded the plane back to bengaluru. My wife and I wondered if we are doing the right thing. I promised her that I'll try very hard to make it work. We have no other option. We are not USC or have GC to come back when we wanted, if we wanted. This whole thing (going back) is a very bold decision, she said. I told her this on the plane - yes, the dream is finally over. But, only to provide another oppurtunity to start another one.