r2i forum

My children attend DPS South and had been complaining from the beginning that some of the teachers are rude and that their English teachers call students "idiots" and "stupids" and are loud and yell at the children. I spoke about this with the class teacher of one of my children and requested her to address the situation in her capacity without identifying us. She was receptive and agreed to help us.

Now, I just learned today that their Yoga teacher pushes children against the black board/wall for little things and that there are other teachers who hurt children as in spanking and twisting earlobes.

I am not keen to change schools for my children as they have made some friends and have just begun to adjust to their new surroundings. At the same time, I am unable to find a solution to the problem without giving my identity. Let me say this, that my children have not been hurt thus far by these teachers, but I do not them want to go to school with the fear that they could be a victim sometime.

I tried to talk to a few other parents but they seem to accept it the way it is, either for the fear that their children may get singled out, or have resigned to the thinking that this is how the system works.

Any ideas on how to tackle the situation? Please help!!!

r2iblore2010;298600My children attend DPS South and had been complaining from the beginning that some of the teachers are rude and that their English teachers call students "idiots" and "stupids" and are loud and yell at the children.
Now, I just learned today that their Yoga teacher pushes children against the black board/wall for little things and that there are other teachers who hurt children as in spanking and twisting earlobes.

Its a shame that Indian schools have not still not caught on to the modern ways of educating.
Is this one of the old world school(translation existing before 2000 and one of top rote schools) or one of the newer ICSE/IB/intl/intl lite schools? If it is latter then its really a shame and scary.

r2iblore2010;298600I tried to talk to a few other parents but they seem to accept it the way it is, either for the fear that their children may get singled out, or have resigned to the thinking that this is how the system works.

Any ideas on how to tackle the situation? Please help!!!

Seriously, that is the package deal that comes with the Indian mode of education and schools. That is the reason I firmly believe in schools following the International Methods and Curriculum. International is no hype and that is what is required for a R2I'ed family expecting US standards and methods.

OP,

I wouldn't be so sure the class teacher will address or has addressed the situation without identifying you. And I wouldn't be so sure the teachers and staff don't already know that you have voiced your concerns to her.

Looks like you did not research the discipline methods used by the school before enrolling.

If you don't speak up for fear of being identified and your children being singled out, you will be setting a very bad example to your kids that can have long term effects on them. No exaggeration here. Children learn from what they see, not what they are told.

Even if you rally other parents and go speak as a group, you will end up being the leader and spokesperson. You will end up being marked as the troublesome person by both sides, and others will end up reaping the benefits, if any. There was another thread recently by an R2I'ed member about his/her experience in speaking to school management about fees hike etc.

If I were you, I would identify exactly what I want, and it would probably be something like this for me:
- my kids should go to school without being afraid of being disciplined physically
- I don't want to change schools at this point
- I would ideally like the school to change its overall disciplining methods, but I am practically more interested in how it impacts my kids.

I am not very familiar with how schools in India work w.r.t addressing parents' concerns, but I would ask for a general meeting with teacher(s), identify myself, list a few positives of my kids' experience in school so far, praise the teacher(s), then find a way of diplomatically stating the concern without finger pointing or criticizing their discipline methods. Most probably, I would put it down to my kids still settling down and being in need of a little different way of their errors pointed out. I would offer the teacher(s) ideas like they send me a note or email or that they talk to my child after class. Chatting a bit about how tough their job is and offering to help in any way does not hurt.

In short, get my concerns across and let it be known that there is an aware parent behind the kids without making the teachers defensive. If the principal is not part of this meeting, I would later meet the principal briefly, and again list positives, etc etc and briefly summarize about meeting with teacher. Chatting a bit about the school, and listening to his/her views about education etc does not hurt.

After that, I would keep mum regarding these meetings when talking to other parents, and also (without making a big deal about it) tell my kids that they are not to discuss this topic with friends.

OP,
Was this in DPS south in Bangalore? Just wanted to confirm..If you don't mind, can you please share details like how old are your kids and what grades ar they in ? Also, do they have different teachers for different subjects, or does one teacher handle all? My neice and a close friend's kid study in DPS..Hadn't heard complaints..So, I am little concerned..Would appreciate if you can share the details..

I would say that you definitely need to address it and like MV suggested, maybe mildly put it across to the teachers that you are aware of the issue....

Vid_Bangalore;298662OP,
Was this in DPS south in Bangalore? Just wanted to confirm..If you don't mind, can you please share details like how old are your kids and what grades ar they in ? Also, do they have different teachers for different subjects, or does one teacher handle all? My neice and a close friend's kid study in DPS..Hadn't heard complaints..So, I am little concerned..Would appreciate if you can share the details..

I would say that you definitely need to address it and like MV suggested, maybe mildly put it across to the teachers that you are aware of the issue....

My children are in the second and fourth grades and they have different teachers.

I am keen to address these issues with the school diplomatically. However, teachers and principal see through your diplomacy. I am sure they will not get defensive when I address it subtly, but I do not want it also to be shown on my children- in terms of sly remarks/ ignoring the children, etc. It is easier said than done to set an example for your children in these issues. If things go out of hand, my children may even stop telling me such incidents for fear of facing consequences. I am hoping to build a parent network for both of the classes and addressing such issues as a group. However, this will take some time as teachers are unwilling to share parents' email ids/ phone numbers.

Also, fyi, such incidents have also taken place in the so called "new generation schools" if you read through other threads on this forum. These may be uncommon in the real Int'l schools such as TISB, but are not unheard of in other schools. I had talked to their teachers and other office staff about disciplining methods before enrolling my children. You will know once you are here that no one remembers things they said once their work is over.

Please keep any and all ideas coming in this regard, especially if you have had to deal with a similar situation. Thanks!

I had to deal with a similar situation in a Mumbai school when I first returned to India four years ago. My daughter was barely 6 at the time, and her entire class was slapped by a lunatic music teacher for not singing properly! I spoke to the other parents first to verify the incident ( you should too) , but none of them were willing to complain. Some even said that slapping was ok with them as a method of discipline.

I then went to the headmistress and complained. She shared my concern and the teacher was disciplined. Teacher resigned shortly afterwards. Shortly afterwards I took my own daughter out of the school for other reasons.

I disagree strongly that slapping and shouting are part of the package deal with Indian schools. Both my kids go to ordinary ICSE schools here ( not intl new type schools) in Mumbai and have never been slapped or abused or called names. At the most the teacher may send an offending girl to the prinicipal, that only after several warnings. The teachers actually address them as "dear" or "sweetheart!".

I think Modus Vivendi offers good advice and you should definitely bring it up with the teacher. But first check that your kids are not exagerating as kids sometimes tend to do. Briing it up with other parents too.

OP,
I just spoke to my friend whose daughter goes to DPS south. She said, in her personal experience, two things were noteworthy: Once her daughter had an issue with the lady on the school bus who is generally loud and scolds kids often..and also one more time when her daughter did not want to participate in some school function because of a loud teacher..Both the cases, it seems she brought it up with the class teacher and the class teacher handled it well..It seems the kid was put in a different activity at the school function (or something like that, sorry don't remember clearly what she said) and also the school bus lady would treat my friend's kid well after sometime..
In a jist, my friend says so far whenever she has had any issue, she writes in the almanac and asks to meet with the teacher on a saturday...and then talks it out with the teacher..Or else, she said one can even write a letter in the almanac and send or even write to the head mistress..In her experience so far, she said it was not held against her child..And once the child is in 1st grade, I believe you can have the class teachers cell phone number (!!!) and contact them after hours.
I can understand how it feels to even hear about spanking incidents..:(..On the positive side, it seems my friend's daughter now loves the school and doesn't want to change it ever..:)..So, I hope you will be able to resolve the issues and your kids are happy too..:)..

Journeywoman;298789
I disagree strongly that slapping and shouting are part of the package deal with Indian schools. Both my kids go to ordinary ICSE schools here ( not intl new type schools) in Mumbai and have never been slapped or abused or called names. At the most the teacher may send an offending girl to the prinicipal, that only after several warnings. The teachers actually address them as "dear" or "sweetheart!".

That is really heartening to hear! Thanks for sharing your viewpoint!

Isn't there a different kind of spanking that goes on in the US high schools ? ;)

Sources - Cannot be identified.