r2i forum

Just a thread to talk about sleepovers. For kids. : )

How do these happen in your part of the world? What age do kids start going over to friends' house for the night?

Are you comfortable with the idea? Do kids go to non-Indians friends' houses too?

Any tips on having a successful sleepover. Now, what is a successful sleepover - the kids get some sleep/parents get some sleep/...

Learnt the meaning of the term only in the U.S. of A. When we were kids, we simply took pillows and went to neighbor's house for sleeping if our parents were late in returning. Or, ended up sleeping over at friend's house in case of group study during exam times. Nothing so organized as a sleepover as seen now...

I like the basic idea of my kids going over to friend's house or their friend coming over, but, it means I don't sleep much myself. It is a bit too much of tension either way. With friends we have known for many years, it is different, but if kids go to houses of people we came to know becoz our kids are friends, a little bit of niggling worry remains. I try to limit it to birthdays or special occasions. Couple of moms and I have come up with the idea of a mini-slumber party - kids hang out from mid afternoon to 10 or 11 pm.. then parents come and pick them up : )

Was wondering about 3 related things:

- One mom told me she'd like my kid to go to her house, but wouldn't want her kid to come to my house. Said that frankly to me. I was taken aback, and she still sees nothing weird in the arrangement. She says she want sleepovers for her kid, but they shld happen only at their house. OK!

- If one parent (mom/dad) agrees to a sleepover invitation kid gets from a friend, but other parent is not so keen, then should the child go or not?

- Do sleepovers happen in India now-a-days? Do kids who live in cities away from cousins & relatives, go to friends' houses for sleepovers?

MV- mine went for her first sleep over age 6 ,I tink-that was at an Indian friends house . Lots of sleepovers while in the Uk. Mostly Indian friends houses , but also has been other school friends- Brit kids as well. Have had kids over at our place as well- never found it a major issue. Never did it if spouse was the only parent around to supervise!!!, made sure I would be around to cater to tummy needs mainly.
Sleepovers really are a misnomer- sleep is only over after the sleep over, is what I invariably found!
What is a succesful sleepover- a good time had by all( includes the parent too, I might add).
And I wouldnt be too keen about parents insisting that the could have my kid over ,but not send over theirs. Dont really enjoy such pushy controlling types, anyway.

Hi MV,

Just curious...were you able o find why ?

Thanks.

modus_vivendi;285147- One mom told me she'd like my kid to go to her house, but wouldn't want her kid to come to my house. Said that frankly to me. I was taken aback, and she still sees nothing weird in the arrangement. She says she want sleepovers for her kid, but they shld happen only at their house. OK!

amaran18;285230

Just curious...were you able o find why ?

Yes. I gathered it was nothing personal : ) Their kid wanted sleepovers, but parents are not (yet) ready to send the kid to anybody's house for the night, including close family friends, but they want their kid's wish to be indulged. Their kid, BTW, is more than happy to go to friend's house for the night.

I wouldn't have minded the one-sided arrangement, but I didn't pursue it, as my kid would feel bad if other kid doesn't come over... Ah, the vagaries of mommy-land.

My firstborn's case is a funny one. A few years ago when she was around 5, we lived near Philly and when one of our friends visited us from NJ, whom we hadn't seen in many years until then, they brought home their little kids 7 and 3 years old respectively. They stayed with us for a day and when they were about to leave the next day (Sunday), they asked my kid if she would like to go with them to spend a couple of days. By then, my daughter had befriended the 7-year-old and therefore, she readily accepted and packed her little 'Dora backpack' with her stuff. We as parents, reluctantly sent her with them - only because up until then, she had not stayed away from either of us even for a single day. The next day, we made several calls to our friends to find out if she was missing us! No way! She was having way too much fun to even talk about us! So, here we were waiting until day 3 (Wednesday) to see if the call would come but there wasn't any. Our friends called us to say that all was well and that they would bring her back that weekend. That was it! The next day, on Thursday, as soon as I came back from work, we drove over to NJ to bring her back, I even got a speeding ticket from the Garden State in the process!

Anyway, fast forward to a few years and now, we have several friends here in the area that our kids have befriended but the sad part is, my daughter doesn't want to go for sleepovers. There were a couple of times that we tried and she would go, but the call would come right around midnight where she'd be in tears saying that she misses us. I've had to then go and bring her back. Finally just a few months ago, after I returned from my trip to India alone, she decided to go for a sleepover at her friend's place and her reasoning was this: "Daddy, if I was able to stay with mum and be okay for 2 weeks while you were in India, I think I should be able to stay away for just one day!". So, with that 'baby-step' she has made it successfully to 2 sleepovers so far at 2 different friend's houses. We have other kids sleepover at our place too. So far, it's been mostly with Indian friends and their kids and one American family in the neighborhood whom we know very well. The subject of sleepovers with kids in school hasn't come up as yet.

My younger one on the other hand, is all set to go to India with our neighbor this weekend - or so she thinks! She's the more outgoing of the two and has already made plans with our neghbor-friend about going to India with her and her kids and coming back after a month or so, and our friend is supposed to take her all the way to Ooty to leave her with Grandma and then bring her back when she returns - all this without our involvement or approval! :))

Experienced parents, pls tell me all about kids sleepover. ?SO? Birthday party for kids, do kids really sleep? What should I send along with kid?
My oldest one(< 9) will be going for 1st sleep over, and I am the edge of a panic attack. Not that I fear of something bad, but not used to this?. very much accustomed to stopping by kids? rooms just before winding up for the day :(

Whoever came up with the concept of sleepover?.. :(

#8,Thanks for the info. I'm not hosting, but sending my kid to one. : )

anwesha;344446#8,Thanks for the info. I'm not hosting, but sending my kid to one. : )

If this is your first time.. I hope you behave strong..

The first time our kid went for a sleepover.. my wife was awake all night. She was missing the kid and could not sleep..

anwesha;344218Experienced parents, pls tell me all about kids sleepover. ?SO? Birthday party for kids, do kids really sleep? What should I send along with kid?
My oldest one(< 9) will be going for 1st sleep over, and I am the edge of a panic attack. Not that I fear of something bad, but not used to this?. very much accustomed to stopping by kids? rooms just before winding up for the day :(

Whoever came up with the concept of sleepover?.. :(

Get over it, will you? :) You will realize that it is the best thing to send the kids over to someone's place and get some peaceful time for self. :) Negotiate a package deal, if parent of more than one kid.

Do they sleep? Who cares!

My elder kid, now 10, is a popular invite for sleepovers. He is well behaved, will eat anything that is served (typically American families stick to pizza or pasta. If Jewish, he is fine with kosher. North or South Indian, no problem), will go to sleep when told, will sleep on the floor, if requested. Just as long as there is some fun time playing video games with his pals. :)

We send the standard stuff -- tooth brush, tooth paste, PJs, and swim wear. He takes a book and his iTouch.

My younger kid, now 6, tags along some times. He goes for sleep over to his friends place as well.