r2i forum

Does spousal absence due to R2I make the heart grow fonder?

Some people have to or choose to R2I with the husband or the wife going first to India, and the other person wrapping up things in U.S/U.K/ etc.
- What are the positive aspects of this approach?
- What are the not so positive aspects of this approach?
- Does it have an impact on the kid(s)?

If applicable, what about you? Given a choice, what would you opt for? Are you secretly raring for a chance to be away from spouse for a definite amount of time? Or no, you cannot bear to be apart for long?

Me, I would opt for all going together. If at all needed, one of us goes ahead, and the other follow with the kids later, but with a definite re-union date in mind. I would most likely not opt for a period of separation whose end is indefinite and dependent on things like ‘when house sells’ or ‘when job comes along’. There, I am done musing about my improbable R2I.

Axshully, on second thoughts, I cannot help but indulge in a bit of daydreaming about being on my own or on my own with kids for a few months or so.

Inputs from members who have experienced, experiencing and yet-to-experience such spousal-AWOL-due-to-R2I would be interesting.

If R2I is not in the cards for you, then your thoughts on a generic - 'Does spousal absence make the heart grow fonder?'... I think yes... and spouses should aim/plan to be thus absent once in a while : )

Try it. You will find out. :)

Is the post only due to R2I?
I had it but earlier than that when my spouse used to travel internationally for work and I liked it. Liked the gifts he brought from all the destinations he traveled and used to be gone for months. It was fun girls times... being single again..I miss it now with he hovering 24x7. Pressed on time now....will update whenever I update...

boca2blr;318428Try it. You will find out. :)

Hmmm... are you sentencing me to curiosity? "Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly." ~ Arnold Edinborough

Mumbai_2009;318429Is the post only due to R2I?

No, thread is not only about absence due to R2I. In general, does spousal absence make the heart grow fonder? Added R2I tag so thread appears less timepass ; )

[QUOTE]What are the positive aspects of this approach?

One person can stay back and wind up peacefully. I remember when DH left, it was crazy. So many bank accounts to handle, selling one car, packing, shipping and all the works. Then when he went back there were some refunds that we got, some cheques that needed to be deposited and some overdrafts to be taken care of:emdgust: Now that he went back, he remembered of few things he needs from here. I am back to a minimalist lifestyle but I think it would be a little more smoother.

On a positive note: I can shop when I want. I can watch all the chick-flicks that I put of watching for many months. Plan my own travel. Every weekend I already have plans for what I am going to do on the next weekend (usually). Grocery shopping has drastically reduced. Friends around me are extremely concerned about me. At one time, they were having their evening walk post-dinner and saw my lights off. They were concerned why I was not back until 9 PM only to find that I went to bed early:emdgust:
But I can;t do that for long. We had decided to give it 3 months. And now I cant wait to move back.

- [QUOTE]What are the not so positive aspects of this approach?

You get used to being independent:p Like, I realize I am not being much disciplined. Stay at work longer and there is no rush to get home. Cook when I feel like it. I already lost 2 lbs. There is none to curb my impulse shopping. I sometimes feel alone when I hang out with the couple-friends I used to hang out with DH. My job search is getting frustrating now, and it sometimes gets difficult to tackle the frustrations. Arguing on the phone about something is never pleasant. The time difference gets to me at times. I was used to living alone earlier, but periods of separation after having lived together is not the same.

- Does it have an impact on the kid(s)
Not applicable


The most important thing is even if you are alone one should not feel lonely. Thankfully, I keep myself busy with something or the other so I dont get that lonely ever.

modus_vivendi;318446Added R2I tag so thread appears less timepass ; )

Arey pehle bolne ka tha na:p

[You should have said so earlier]

MV, the short answer is "yes". It is the nature of such separation.

Yes, it does. :)

modus_vivendi;318421
Are you secretly raring for a chance to be away from spouse for a definite amount of time? Or no, you cannot bear to be apart for long?

I?d prefer the latter of the two choices. Our short trips to India has also been together (except for one unavoidable circumstance)

modus_vivendi;318421

If applicable, what about you? Given a choice, what would you opt for? Are you secretly raring for a chance to be away from spouse for a definite amount of time? Or no, you cannot bear to be apart for long?

Is there an option like below :
secretly raring for a chance to be away from spouse for a INdefinite amount of time and cannot bear to be TOGETHER for long.

vsudhu;318501Is there an option like below :
secretly raring for a chance to be away from spouse for a INdefinite amount of time and cannot bear to be TOGETHER for long.

Depends on if that is a diagnosis or prescription? : )

Seriously, all options welcome!