r2i forum

What is your first reaction when you see

Boys/Girls with tattoos

Boys/Girls with rings pierced to their lips or belly buttons

Boys/Girls with hair colored or highlights of glowing purple/orange/neon green that blinds your eyes

I have lived in Desi heavy area in US but never used to see Desi girls/boys with above fashion all these years but in Salon/Malls I am beginning to see..

I like new fashion and trends(dresses, shoes, etc) but above makes me uncomfortable...

What will be your reaction if your teenage kids do that without asking you first ?

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels? (Now that's scary!)
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I thank that I shall not be there to see it.

I have twins (boy and a girl) just turned 12. I'm always worried about the impact of these Desi kids you mentioned above on my own. I tell my kids that it's a culture of non-desi to get tattoos, ring piercing etc. But recently one of my daughter's desi friend's mom got a tattoo done. I'm no one to comment on her choice but, I will definitely not want my kids to get exposed to this culture. I can't tolerate my kids justifying these acts. One of the reasons that's pushing us towards R2I.

RBee;629452I like new fashion and trends(dresses, shoes, etc) but above makes me uncomfortable...

What will be your reaction if your teenage kids do that without asking you first ?

What is it in tattoo or piercing or coloring hair that makes you uncomfortable?

My reaction would be a non-reaction with respect to tattoo or piercing or hair coloring. Not important enough to worry about, as a parent.

These are expressions of their personality.

^^^ Even good looking kids look like thugs when they express such :) and it affects social interactions of their parents..:)

BTW I expected this diplomatic politically correct response from you :) Probably parents whose kids have not indulged(or will not indulge) in such expressions can afford to give such response :)

RBee;629452What is your first reaction when you see

Boys/Girls with tattoos

Boys/Girls with rings pierced to their lips or belly buttons

Boys/Girls with hair colored or highlights of glowing purple/orange/neon green that blinds your eyes

I have lived in Desi heavy area in US but never used to see Desi girls/boys with above fashion all these years but in Salon/Malls I am beginning to see..

I like new fashion and trends(dresses, shoes, etc) but above makes me uncomfortable...

What will be your reaction if your teenage kids do that without asking you first ?

If kids strongly wants to do it, why oppose it so strongly?? But I will try to persuade using soft redirections, saying this is a extreme behavior in current society and it leads to high risk things later like drug use

^^^ OP asked "What will be your reaction if your teenage kids do that without asking you first ? "
I think most kids who express themselves as shown in the 3 bullets I mentioned didn't consult with their parents because if they had done that, most or majority of those parents would have dissuaded them..

That brings the question.. Most parents give pocket money to their 13-18 year old kids but if kids use that pocket money to indulge in such 'expressions of their personality'like boca says :) without parental permission/knowledge, should parents stop pocket money or demand refund :) ?

IMO Piercing or hair color is something you can easily undo when the kids DO come back to their senses. But Tattoo is much more serious. What used to be limited to red-necks, gang members and felons, some how became main-stream! Just like children are considered minors and not ready for making important decisions (like voting or drinking!), there should be an age limit set for getting a permanent tattoo!
To the original question, when I see such a boy/girl, I do get the impression that the kid is 'punk' and probably into missing school and hanging out with friends under a bridge!!! although, it might be far from truth. But yeah in this era where 'express yourself' is so popular, kids feel pressured to do something bold. One can only hope that our kids don't get influenced by such thought/people.

I?d be more concerned about the company my kid keeps and how they spend their time away than their choice of expression. I personally am not a fan of the attributes listed in the OP, but would not judge people/kids solely on those aspects.

That said, I remember reading that visible tattoos and piercings don?t necessarily help the cause when kids apply for entry level jobs at some places. Not fair, but a reality I guess.

RBee;629462^^^ Even good looking kids look like thugs when they express such :) and it affects social interactions of their parents..:)

So, the bottom line is that it affects the social interactions of the parent, because of something that their kid did? :)

RBee;629462BTW I expected this diplomatic politically correct response from you :) Probably parents whose kids have not indulged(or will not indulge) in such expressions can afford to give such response :)

It is not being "diplomatic politically correct". It is part of the value system, to not judge or be negatively influenced by their looks. If skin color doesn't matter, so does hair color, wouldn't it? It is just being consistent with the core value system.

Tattoo, body piercing, coloring of hair -- these are common in India, at least in rural India. Having experience of living near rural areas, they don't seem odd to me, to make me uncomfortable.