r2i forum

cabo;382478
I always wondered about this- when your friends become rich- How does this affect the relationship- is there a touch of jealousy, resentment or is one happy for the friend.

maakolam;382528That depends on the friend and the depth of friendship I guess!
Such a deep question needs a separate thread perhaps, JMHO!

This topic deserves a new thread at the backdrop of Winklevoss twins vanquished; yet fight for facebook continues

Pour in your thoughts..

If the success is from hard work, I will be happy.
If it is from pure luck,right time at right place funda, I blame my luck for the rest of my life:)
If it is from chamchagiri/goalmaal, they are out of my inner circle.

To add further of what My Roots opinion:

If the success comes to a competent, integrity with great character, smart working person, I will be immensely happy!
If the success comes to a integrity, excellent attitude person but based more on luck than hard work, I will be still happy!!
If the success comes to a smart working, hard working person but has a crooked attitude, I will not be happy but will appreciate his hardwork!!!
If the success comes to a complete crook with not right attitude and aptitude but gets by pure luck/crook/corrupt means, I will be completely out of his/her friendship!!!!

LoveIndia;382538
If the success comes to a complete crook with not right attitude and aptitude but gets by pure luck/crook/corrupt means, I will be completely out of his/her friendship!!!!

[QUOTE] If it is from chamchagiri/goalmaal, they are out of my inner circle.

why would you wait for him to get rich before getting them out of your circle of friends. Why would you be friends with them in the first place :)

Deleted!
Damnit! Laky already posted it!

Laks, Laks, tough question:) You really got me thinking

I will know their other face(chamchagiri or not) only when they become rich na?
If it's the same attitude even with regular friendship, yes, I wouldn't be friend with them at first place.

Did I clarify your doubt?

I think that more than the way in which a person has achieved success (smartness, hardworking, other positive/negative qualities are relative) the way the said person behaves after achieving stupendous success is what will determine the continuity of friendship. The presence of positive qualities would definitely help others see the success in proper perspective, even defend the person's success if need be.

A few will always feel jealous of most people around them all the time. But leaving such ones aside, the prominent thought in one's head would be "what if it were me" and not 'why not me' like MV said elsewhere.

laks0;382541why would you wait for him to get rich before getting them out of your circle of friends. Why would you be friends with them in the first place :)

Let me explain what happend with one of my friend. My good close friend during college days came from very poor economic background where he lived in a hut from Scheduled caste neighborhood in a small village. He use to be ok in studies. He was so poor that he had only 2 dresses and couldn't afford to pay the hostel fees. I helped him to some extent financially and once he completed the course, he went back to his village without a job. After 4 months of our course completion, I found out that there is a vacancy for a fresher in a company in madras and with no telephone communication those days, I went to his village travelling for 5 hours, informed him, brought him to my home and facilitated to attend the interview. He did well and got selected at Rs. 2500 per month salary in 1991 which is a 'ok' salary at that time. He became marketing executive selling dyes and chemicals within 3 years and slowly grew in stature. We kept in touch even though my life went different with higher studies and coming to abroad. Later on, I learnt from close friends and from himself without shame that he bribed a lot of companies to sell the items, become a womanizer by visiting prostitutes, completely unethical and immoral and become wealthy with crores. His attitude changed for worse, his arrogance grew and tell me with this short story, how can I be friend with him now?

The definition of friendship varies as old friends who were good at that time became corrupt now and it's impossible for me to again be friendly with old friends who are corrupt. If I get a new friend now, then the first thing I will see his character/attitude and the frequency and wavelength of his personality should match with mine and then in this case your statement hold true.

unscientific as it seems this is when things like "destiny", "serendipity" are a great help. I greatly believe this.and helps me.

"daane daane per likha hoga khane wale ki naam"

every morsel has the name of the person eating it etched on it.

most of my friends are guys who did nt make it to med school or engineering stream. They are all like the cream of HYD in terms of business/wealth. I could claim "they run their dads business", "he is the son of former CM of AP", "their wives brought in lots of dowries", but the end of the day they are in positions and that I can not even dream of, so no jealousy, just good friendship, lots of drinks, loads of parties when I get back.

They kinda look at me like being in medicine has made me a relative loser in terms of time and money. but like I said I often feel every day of my life is planned by someone else and I am superhappy and proud of what I achieved. we will all get exaclty what is destined for us.

RK

If one's friend ABC becomes rich, successful, there should be a feeling of happiness, not jealousy or resentment. If feelings of jealousy or resentment come in, one needs to evaluate if one is really a true friend of ABC or not.

There is nothing wrong in getting motivated by seeing success of someone else whether that be a friend or not.

Now if an acquaintance becomes rich and successful, then feelings of resentment or jealousy may kick in, in some cases, but for true friends, they should not kick in.

Now with that said, I am generally indifferent regardless of whether a friend or non friend is succesful or rich, although tend towards being happy for them.

What affects me more is not the success or wealth of friends but rather their misfortune and that makes me sad.