r2i forum

I find this perplexing. No one will deny that India has issues ranging from illiteracy to poverty. And talking about these issues in a constructive manner is certainly with merit. Over the years every so often I encounter people with an intense loathsome towards their country of birth. I do not understand this. Why do some NRIs detest the country they long ago deserted with such vengeance? Is this phenomenon a means to internalize and process their guilt of unpaid dues? Or is this a useful crutch to hold on in assisting them with a justification to never return? Or perhaps an anger at their own fate for having been born in a country they could never be taught to love and respect? Is it hard for such people to live with themselves - knowing their marrows are seeped in the earth they love to loathe? Any experiences with the likes of such people?

Perhaps you misconstrue passion to discuss the facts and hatred of the ills of society as hatred and a loathing attitude towards the country. How can anyone make assumptions that there is guilt and there are unpaid dues, if one does that, then those are sweeping conclusions. Do NRIs be the mere fact of NRIing become insecure as a group? I don't think so. Hence I think this stuff about dues, guilt etc not hold much weight.

Looks like only those who have been anointed with water from the holy river of R2I should dare to talk about the issues that ail mother India (a.k.a darling with a mastectomy).

For the unfortunate not-yet-anointed, a periodic declaring of intent to r2i, along with frequent expression of abhorrence for desi potlucks, costco coupon cutting and Chuck-e-cheese kids' birthday parties would suffice as criteria to be declared OK to talk about issues that ail India. :)

For the rest, there is the "well fed arm-chair expert discussing it in online forums sitting in a/c rooms" label. :)

Namaste!

Not really what is important is to nit pick and make gross judgemental observations all the while drinking tea with sugar.

1. all people reporting trolls post should present their qualifications, in original with notarised copies

2. spending a paltry 1000 rupees for a 11,000 crore railway project is an example of inabilty to seperate church vs state.

3. Indians are blase about their morals about abortion? This whole conversation was so not on I dont even know the specifics anymore.

4. should doctor mothers have children, I mean they could easily predict which patient will become sick 4 years after the conception.

5. In your face child exploitation videos in a thread titled " diwali thoughts" .

the annointment apparently is a function of how many standards one has...more the merrier.

RK

I don't understand what others are talking about, but Man - to your question - I know of few friends who bash India are those never want to return. So, I choose

"useful crutch to hold on in assisting them with a justification to never return?"

Top 3 bashes I frequently hear:
India is a filthy (dirty) country.
Traffic is crazy bad.
Indian politicians are so corrupt.

Sadly, all of the above is true. It was true when they left India and it is still true. Because they are in LIA mindset, Bashing India helps them feel good and assist them not to return.

familiarity breeds contempt

Man;420054 Any experiences with the likes of such people?

Lot of experiences. These are people who will shout human rights violation, human rights violation without knowing what it is when it comes to India. When it comes to USA they never raise such issues because they know first of all no one will be there to listen to them, if they did they will be asked to go back.

Spot on .. Billy...
I even encountered people who when on H1-b, bash america .. and for them India is the place to be with all great things waiting to happen .. the moment GC dates becomes current ( not even they got GC but just their dates becomes current) .. india turns out to be land of filth.... no good education for kids .... cheating everywhere ... corruption everywhere .... politicians are looting .. country has no future .. so on and so forth..
I am amused with this kind of people as nothnig means nothnig really matters for India as country whether these guys return or not.. but most probably in my obesercation such people are the average people doing normal job in america.. and has nothnig extra-ordinary that they can do something excellent in India ... In 95% of people showing these charastrictics are coming from outside metro cities in India and brought up in compromised enviornment ... I am sorry if I am generalising but this is what my observatino is ..

Man;420054 Why do some NRIs detest the country they long ago deserted with such vengeance? Is this phenomenon a means to internalize and process their guilt of unpaid dues? Or is this a useful crutch to hold on in assisting them with a justification to never return? Or perhaps an anger at their own fate for having been born in a country they could never be taught to love and respect?

Going by this - all NRI's have deserted their home country for x number of years that they have lived abroad. I am not sure what dues you are talking about, can one return dues only by R2I'ing? If one continues to watch/admire bollywood movies, and cheer for Indian cricket team, is there a credit for these dues?

In general talking about positive things, and staying positive is not in our culture. This should not be equated to hatred for the ex-home country. Lets say there is a gathering of desis, and a bunch of them are bashing desi politics, or corruption. In my observation, even after I change the topic to something like fake resumes at work, we continue to bash other indians. This may narrow down to some state/language, but it still goes on. Same deal with sports related conversations, they always end with a majority bashing the desi gene, facilities, mindset etc. Talk about metro, the GQ roads, etc, usually turns into how indians abuse it or how much corruption there is in executing these projects. Notice that I said desis, and not LIAs. It is hard to start a positive conversation, and keep it positive till someone parts to get a snack. Its the same in US and in India.

Are you saying LIA/USC just by making this decision to not return, lose their right to criticize something in the news? I usually find this to be the case. Once an NRI is an USC, and does any bashing the people who were bashing turn defensive. Even if the USC is planning R2I the next month. Also, R2Ied USCs bash India lot more with other R2I'ed USCs. But, to the USCs planning an R2I they paint a rosy picture, as though its an invitation into the khedda.

Without having done any statistical analysis even in this forum, I feel there are more debates where people are bashing something, rather than praise something. Not talking about any information gathering discussions, they are neutral. Also, discounting the discussions where people are defending their choice, they are usually positive about their choice. eg:I drive a BMW, so it is the best, and all others just suck. I am not excluding myself from this culture, I am very much a part of this.

Man;420054Over the years every so often I encounter people with an intense loathsome towards their country of birth. I do not understand this.

Man,

Nice to see you in good flow after long time. Since you have taken time to mention it, I presume that sample size must be sizable in your observation, in my observation I do not find that to be true, most remember their country of birth with a sense of nostalgia, not just Indians or NRIs. Those who don't, may not have had such good memories.

Loathing, is it a natural response? Perhaps used to mask something else? Who knows why anyone loathes anything? Or if everyone who loathes their land of birth do that for the same reason :)

-Cheers.