r2i forum

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/05/13/BA5R1DE7PV.DTL

I live in the same locality. Looks like post partum depression..

Really sad. Hope media and Indian community give the dignity to the departed by not doing the post-martem.

OP, thanks for sharing. I read the news casually, but didn't realize it was a desi family. Any death of this kind is sad, but desi one strikes closer. Too many in the recent past. Hardly been a year since the man killed his kids and wife's relatives in Santa Clara (only wife survived), then Rajeev Motwani's death last June.

Hope the man and his daughter are able to get over this unimaginable tragedy. Man, it hurts to think of the eight year old rushing to the neighbor's house for help.

Thats so sad..May her soul and the baby's soul (hard to even type this) rest in peace..

I had a classmate called Alamelu during high school and college..I knew she lives in US, but didn't know where..I quickly checked with a common friend and came to know that she lives in midwest..What a relief!

On a side note, lot of people are not aware of post partum depression. Even lot of Gynaecologists (especially in India) don't ask the patients how they are feeling after delivery, whether they feel depressed or not..I feel we should atleast try to spread the awareness among the people we know, and make them aware of such a possibility..Because all we do is congratulate when someone delivers (however close they are to us)..

Is post partum depression common in India as well?

V_B,

There is a difference between PPD and Postpartum Psychosis. First one is experienced by 25% of women post child birth and can go away without intervention and even without medication (majority of times with few exceptions) and is usually not detrimental. But the second one doesn't go away without medication and is usually dangerous and affects very small segment of women post child birth. The nature of the tragedy and crime suggests she might have been suffering with the second one.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postpartum_psychosis

Yes, awareness need to be made but not with interviews with neighbors(who might not have any clue to start with else the tragedy could have been averted) and media going to spouse's workplace to get the next byte etc. Such tragedies usually have dismal coverage from media with neither a concern for family's sentiments nor in educating the next victim nor in helping to stop the next such tragedy. Sensationalism in the name of journalism is what I opposed : (. At least let the departed get the dignity and family some solace.

Added later: V_B, I was not singling out your post. Yours was a thoughtful one and hit the bull's eye on spreading awareness. But this incident hit the nerve as one of the few living in that community who were attempted to be interviewed by mercury news mid afternoon is in my company and he said media was hovering to get was whether the neighbors heard couple fighting and whether having second female child was the source of discontent between couple (so they can stereotype Asians in their story) etc etc. If it's a criminal case, let the concerned agency investigate instead of media. They don't even know whether the wife needed medical help yet but they want to sensationalize the story already. I have seen similar such coverage in the past whenever India origin people are involved where the focus was more in sensationalizing rather than caring for victim's sentiments.

RaReSha3;288252V_B,

Yes, awareness need to be made but not with interviews with neighbors(who might not have any clue to start with else the tragedy could have been averted) and media going to spouse's workplace to get the next byte etc. Such tragedies usually have dismal coverage from media with neither a concern for family's sentiments nor in educating the next victim nor in helping to stop the next such tragedy. Sensationalism in the name of journalism is what I opposed : (. At least let the departed get the dignity and family some solace.

Totally agree with you RRS. I was not contradicting your stand at all. I was more so talking on the preventative angle. We can only wish that this could have been prevented. Really sad state for the daughter and hubby who have to face this terrible situation.

Child birth is of course a very joyful event. But the mother does go through a stressful time sometimes, especially caesarian births..I feel it will help if people around are aware of this and also spread awareness regarding it.

returning_indian;288244Is post partum depression common in India as well?

It does not matter - India or US. Certain people are prone to it - I am not an expert on this, but what I have read and heard is that c-sections moms are more susceptible, mothers who do not have proper moral/physical support from close family, or in fact moms who are under a lot of stress are prone to it. I have heard from a lot of my friends and have personally also gone through a little bit of depression (like crying easily at the drop of a hat, or getting angry, etc), but for a very short period of time (until say 4-6 weeks - mine was a c-section), though not continuously, but say on days when I hadn't got any sleep at all in the night, etc..Sleep deprivation is a major issue for new moms. But then, I overcame it after a few weeks. So did my friends. But like RRS said, it can be disastrous for some.
If the husbands are aware of it (and say not judge the wife, or say not argue with her), it helps a great deal..I used to remind my hubby - not a good time for arguments and got away with it!..:)

One difference in India can be the great amount of support that you get - in terms of say having stay at home maids / cook, etc. Here in US, even if parents come to help, even with cleaning service, I felt it was stressful..

V_B, Your #8 post in discussing some of the symptoms and how husbands can help is really useful and that's how the awareness can increase for future parents. Thanks.

Vid_Bangalore;288262It does not matter - India or US. Certain people are prone to it - I am not an expert on this, but what I have read and heard is that c-sections moms are more susceptible, mothers who do not have proper moral/physical support from close family, or in fact moms who are under a lot of stress are prone to it. I have heard from a lot of my friends and have personally also gone through a little bit of depression (like crying easily at the drop of a hat, or getting angry, etc), but for a very short period of time (until say 4-6 weeks - mine was a c-section), though not continuously, but say on days when I hadn't got any sleep at all in the night, etc..Sleep deprivation is a major issue for new moms. But then, I overcame it after a few weeks. So did my friends. But like RRS said, it can be disastrous for some.
If the husbands are aware of it (and say not judge the wife, or say not argue with her), it helps a great deal..I used to remind my hubby - not a good time for arguments and got away with it!..:)

One difference in India can be the great amount of support that you get - in terms of say having stay at home maids / cook, etc. Here in US, even if parents come to help, even with cleaning service, I felt it was stressful..

You are right about the support system in India, especially after child birth. It is so much easier.
The irony is, 70% of the neighbors around this area are Indians and no one could help her emotionally or morally. I came to know about it after watching the news although I live in the area. There is no communication between neighbors within the Indian community - this is Silicon Valley sigh! no time for anything....