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Recently made friends with somebody who is a big show off..

her conversation most of the time is centered around how her son is the best...how great an achiever her husband is...how big salary he draws inspite of him not having any professional degree...if i have to pick up a fight I can argue with her, but she is the wife of my hubby's friend....so not talking to her is not an option....

some examples of conversations with her ..

once we were having a general chitchat among friends about old days...i said i was happier those days when my salary was 6 k (INR) which was my starting salary..she immediately blurted out 6 k is diffiult for survival and that her initial salary as a teacher was 12k ...she also commented as to why would somebody work fulltime for 6k...

Singapore is known to not have a very good pay structure..she claims that in singapore her husband was making x+150 k in IT and she made x+50 k as a teacher...whereas i poor soul slogged to make x k an year...

on one occasion I told her I had a ground floor apt in singapore and her instant answer was yes, "ground floor houses are cheaper as they dont offer privacy "

So basically whatever conversation I pick up with her, the conversation always steers away to how poor we are and how much money they make....


guys pls help me how to deal with this kind of beahvior

My case was a little different. I had a boss like that instead of a friend. He used to always compare himself to me and prove that he is more successful than I am. I thought it was funny because, being my boss, he was by definition more successful. Not sure why he wanted to prove that to me always.

He also started comparing my house with his or his son's school with my son's. Needless to see he always had a bigger house and his kid went to a better school. His siblings were all directors, VPs and we were all lowly creatures to him. I used to just keep quiet initially. But when I understood that he wouldn't stop, I started saying the line "Sir aapke liye to yeh kuch bhi nahin. AApka level hi alag hai". He bought a flat somewhere and boasted about it and I used the quoted line and said you should be aiming for some South Mumbai and not the suburbs. When he bought a Innova, I told him he should be seen in nothing less than a Merc because that's what his status is.

Such people are hollow. If you cannot stop them, fuel that more and derive fun and not get frustrated.

I think it is a good idea.
The only way probably to make them feel bit inferior is telling them what they have achieved is not enough to their full capability. And wonder why they have not done enough ?

diva;298809Recently made friends with somebody who is a big show off..

her conversation most of the time is centered around how her son is the best...how great an achiever her husband is...how big salary he draws inspite of him not having any professional degree...if i have to pick up a fight I can argue with her, but she is the wife of my hubby's friend....so not talking to her is not an option....

some examples of conversations with her ..

once we were having a general chitchat among friends about old days...i said i was happier those days when my salary was 6 k (INR) which was my starting salary..she immediately blurted out 6 k is diffiult for survival and that her initial salary as a teacher was 12k ...she also commented as to why would somebody work fulltime for 6k...

Singapore is known to not have a very good pay structure..she claims that in singapore her husband was making x+150 k in IT and she made x+50 k as a teacher...whereas i poor soul slogged to make x k an year...

on one occasion I told her I had a ground floor apt in singapore and her instant answer was yes, "ground floor houses are cheaper as they dont offer privacy "

So basically whatever conversation I pick up with her, the conversation always steers away to how poor we are and how much money they make....


guys pls help me how to deal with this kind of beahvior

There are deep rooted reasons why soemone would behave that way.....one possibility is a very tough childhood filled with struggles where the monetary gaps in life were quite visible...you cannot really ask him/her to change their behavior...if you need to maintain good relations with them then you just have to hear them out and steer conversations away from monetary discussions (but easier said than done since they would like to tlak about this all the time)...

why do you need to maintain friendhsip with them??

Just ask him one question... he is happy and contended or still feels that what he has is not sufficient? You can just tell him that you are contented with what you have and happy, this should shut him off.

vapasi1;298830My case was a little different. I had a boss like that instead of a friend. He used to always compare himself to me and prove that he is more successful than I am. I thought it was funny because, being my boss, he was by definition more successful. Not sure why he wanted to prove that to me always.

He also started comparing my house with his or his son's school with my son's. Needless to see he always had a bigger house and his kid went to a better school. His siblings were all directors, VPs and we were all lowly creatures to him. I used to just keep quiet initially. But when I understood that he wouldn't stop, I started saying the line "Sir aapke liye to yeh kuch bhi nahin. AApka level hi alag hai". He bought a flat somewhere and boasted about it and I used the quoted line and said you should be aiming for some South Mumbai and not the suburbs. When he bought a Innova, I told him he should be seen in nothing less than a Merc because that's what his status is.

Such people are hollow. If you cannot stop them, fuel that more and derive fun and not get frustrated.

Diva

My best advise to you would be to avoid those people! You could invent ways to counter it but its better to not have such friendship than to maintain an artificial one!.

PeterGriffin;298871Diva

My best advise to you would be to avoid those people! You could invent ways to counter it but its better to not have such friendship than to maintain an artificial one!.

Yes I agree with you PG. But the OP says she has to deal with them as they are friends of her spouse. In my case also I could not avoid my boss. In such instnaces until you can get rid of them, you have to devise ways to counter it. However, ultimately you got to move away from them. In my case, I found another job and got rid of the bastard.

Every time they start with a story or cut you off, say "yes, you told me that before". After 3-4 times, she will realize how often she keeps repeating herself along the same theme.

diva;298809Recently made friends with somebody who is a big show off..

her conversation most of the time is centered around how her son is the best...how great an achiever her husband is...how big salary he draws inspite of him not having any professional degree...if i have to pick up a fight I can argue with her, but she is the wife of my hubby's friend....so not talking to her is not an option....

some examples of conversations with her ..

once we were having a general chitchat among friends about old days...i said i was happier those days when my salary was 6 k (INR) which was my starting salary..she immediately blurted out 6 k is diffiult for survival and that her initial salary as a teacher was 12k ...she also commented as to why would somebody work fulltime for 6k...

Singapore is known to not have a very good pay structure..she claims that in singapore her husband was making x+150 k in IT and she made x+50 k as a teacher...whereas i poor soul slogged to make x k an year...

on one occasion I told her I had a ground floor apt in singapore and her instant answer was yes, "ground floor houses are cheaper as they dont offer privacy "

So basically whatever conversation I pick up with her, the conversation always steers away to how poor we are and how much money they make....


guys pls help me how to deal with this kind of beahvior

vapasi1;298830
Such people are hollow. If you cannot stop them, fuel that more and derive fun and not get frustrated.

Exactly. When people have tendency to put off others and show off at every occasion, deep down they are not comfortable under their skin and are constantly comparing themselves.
Either you can enjoy them by stoking the fire or ignore her comments and dont encourage by showing your scorn and disappointment.

True, next time if he/she starts just politely say "Can we talk something new?"

VS007;298903Exactly. When people have tendency to put off others and show off at every occasion, deep down they are not comfortable under their skin and are constantly comparing themselves.
Either you can enjoy them by stoking the fire or ignore her comments and dont encourage by showing your scorn and disappointment.