r2i forum

Freedom and Satisfaction.

Those are the two things missing in my professional life since quite sometime. I'm currently in US on H1B, working as a software engineer the last 7 years or so. Needless to say, I've had enough of this career. There is no freedom here in the US to be able to do what I want & live where I want. My employer (consulting company) dictates terms and I'm left with no choice. I get paid 2 months after I complete the work and I need to follow up with them every month to run my payroll. Even if I move to another company, it's going to more or less the same. I'm sick of it. I cannot quit my job today and pick up another one tomorrow because there are visa issues. H1B is a curse. No freedom whatsoever. It's like a prison here. Life has become too mechanical for me. Since I'm a consultant, I get paid only for the hours I worked. Everytime there is a holiday, I'm not able to enjoy it at all. At the back of my mind, I keep thinking, 8 hours x my billing rate = $x. Crap, I've lost $x today!! I've become a machine over the years. I'm not able to stop and smell the roses. I've lost interest in the software industry due to all the stress involved. I (like most others) jumped on the GC bandwagon and every month when the visa bulletin arrives, I eagerly look up the dates. I mean, really? My life is decided by a stupid date? Sometimes I wonder if I chose the wrong career path. I want to be cut off from the evil computer. I want to break free. I don't see myself sitting infront of the computer and working like this until retirement. I'm sucked into this wormhole called US.
I feel out of place here. I need to put up a facade every day.

I might sound like I'm having issues with my consulting company but that's not all of it. You might suggest me to look for a full-time position instead of consulting. Well, I think it's too late for that. I should have done that a long time ago. I've reached a saturation point. I cannot take this any longer.

There is a void inside me. There's no satisfaction in what I do here. It's all about $$ at the end of the day. There is no freedom in wanting to live the life I want. I'm just sick of sitting infront of a computer all day. It's ironic that I'm typing this on a computer to vent my frustration on the, well, computer. I just want to go out there and have fun.

Ideally, I want to go back to India, take a break for a couple of months, try to get the GC & work-related programming things out of my mind, take a second hard look at my software career and where I want to go etc.. Even better, I'm considering switching careers or just stay home for a while until I figure out what needs to be done. I'm not interested in making money but I want that satisfaction. I have a spacious apartment all paid for in Hyderabad, rental income, some real estate and enough funds to sustain me and my young family without working for a few years. My wife works entirely from home and the client is okay with her working from India as it doesn't make any difference to them.

I just want to know if anyone else is in the same boat as I am. Is this what some say midlife crisis? Just for the record, there are no issues on the personal front. It's just my professional life that's in shambles. What would you do if you were in my situation? How do you deal with it? Do you have any suggestions? I'm just confused.

Thanks!

try your hand at free hand journalism. you write well and present clearly. atleast you made it feel like someone was putting my thoughts on paper for me....

try UK. no GC hassles. closer to home. if you can put up with the weather, best of both worlds...

Not to deviate from OP's original intent.

It seems UK has stopped Tier1 and left with Tier2 as one of the option.

Do you have any pointers about companies who are actively looking to sponsor candidates? (especially from US. is it possible?)

Hope this information helps OP too.

ozzy;411732Freedom and Satisfaction.
......It's just my professional life that's in shambles.
What would you do if you were in my situation? How do you deal with it? Do you have any suggestions? I'm just confused. Thanks!

You need the company of people who have got it worse than you. Find them, join them in one drinking session a week. Take Taxi home. This is the traditional cure.
Someone who had the same symptom, was in a similar grind and couldn't let go, finally beat the inertia and went back to hyderabad.

You need to find your passion and pursue it. Try to make a career out of whatever you are passionate about. If visa rules don't allow you to do that then you can always return to India. Financially you look OK so you can afford to take a break while you build an income stream by doing what you like to do and do it on your own terms.

A few things to think about -
1. Your age, marital status, kids etc ?
2. Your financial position ?

If you are <30 with no wife/kids you can take some calculated risks - maybe go to b-school and try for a career change
If your financial position is ok then again you have opportunity to switch careers/roles/take up education

If it is just GC or Switching jobs for H1.. Just go back to India for 1 Year and then come back with new H1B with better consulting companies..

Ozzy,
I dont think a GC was handed to other people from India on a silver platter. It is worse for people who had to change jobs, or were laid off and the GC processing got stalled or delayed further. Thats life, no point getting frustrated over this. Or anything else that you have no control over. I have seen young engineers who get immersed in GC related talk with their managers. Reality is that once things are with the lawers there is nothing the managers can do. Even if you fault the lawers or the system, there is just more of the same frustration. I have certainly been there, trying to save $$s because of uncertainity, and feeling frustrated. Here is what I did.

I thought of a shuttle/birdie/tennis ball/ping pong ball/racquet ball/voleyball as the source of frustration, got on the court with a friend, and thrashed that ball as hard as I could. I have no idea why, but it did feel good when all that energy was spent. I had entertained myself, improved friendship, learnt something about the physics of ball movement, tired and ready for my beer. :) J/K did not mean to say, get violent. But, like others said keep yourself occupied outside of work as well, so that work/$$s and GC are not the only things you are worried about. Perhaps you should also be thinking about improving some other hobby/life skill that was left unfinished.

Your comment about no freedom and $$s- I do not understand why there is no freedom, and why it has to be all about $$s. How can one be sure that this bug will not bite in India. If its because of friends and relatives, then thats a separate issue. Some people find it easy to connect to new people in new places, some find it hard. But most make good friends eventually, that is what sweetens life. I hope you are not feeling so suffocatingly uprooted. Good Luck with your GC :)

Dude, you are the perfect profile for R2I. Go for it. Pursue your dreams. You seem to financially well off to R2I. Mental peace and doing what you love (even if you don't know what you love, but having the freedom to pursue whatever you want is priceless). Unless you have a realistic chance of getting GC in an year or so, there is no point in hanging around.

Go Dude! I'll be rooting for you.

Whoa! Thanks so much for all the replies. I really appreciate your time! :)

ss1122rr & bhavan, I'm interested in relocating to a different country. UK, US.. they're all the same more or less (I think).

okonomi;411745You need the company of people who have got it worse than you. Find them, join them in one drinking session a week. Take Taxi home. This is the traditional cure.
Someone who had the same symptom, was in a similar grind and couldn't let go, finally beat the inertia and went back to hyderabad.

Okonomi, thanks for the suggestion. I need to find someone who is in a worse situation than I am and discuss it over a biryani session instead :) Thanks a ton for the link. I can totally relate myself to that guy. He expressed it perfectly than I am. Gee, even the title of both threads are the same, word for word!

r2i-mumbai;411752You need to find your passion and pursue it. Try to make a career out of whatever you are passionate about.

You're comment really made me think what I really like. But I couldn't come up with anything :( It seemed I lost interest in doing anything. I used to have a zeal for doing glitzy stuff in Photoshop but I don't have the same passion anymore. Something must be really wrong with me. I just want to kickback and take it easy for a while.

oasis138;411753A few things to think about -
1. Your age, marital status, kids etc ?
2. Your financial position ?

If you are <30 with no wife/kids you can take some calculated risks - maybe go to b-school and try for a career change
If your financial position is ok then again you have opportunity to switch careers/roles/take up education

I'll be hitting 30 in a few months and have 1 baby. I think I'm okay with my finances. I'll be able to live comfortable in Hyderabad even without working. But I don't want to sit idle, I want to make at least Rs. 5000/month. Thanks for the suggestion. Going back to school does seem like a good idea. But I don't want to look like Shankar Dada (Munnabhai) in the class. LOL

dpph;411764If it is just GC or Switching jobs for H1.. Just go back to India for 1 Year and then come back with new H1B with better consulting companies..

Yep, that's exactly what I'm planning to do. Take a break first and then think about what to do. It's been 3 years since I last visited India. It's time.

GutsyGibbon;411770... How can one be sure that this bug will not bite in India...

Wow. That comment really made think! I really don't know. But what I do know is, even if I don't have to work, I can at least enjoy the vacation time. I just want that freedom to do anything. I completely agree with you. I need to develop a hobby or something but I don't think I'll be able to nurture it while in the US on a primary job. And GC is not everything. After waiting for GC, we'll have to wait to become USC. Something else will be on agenda at that time. And the whole time, I'll be standing by

MadMax;411780Dude, you are the perfect profile for R2I. Go for it. Pursue your dreams. You seem to financially well off to R2I. Mental peace and doing what you love (even if you don't know what you love, but having the freedom to pursue whatever you want is priceless). Unless you have a realistic chance of getting GC in an year or so, there is no point in hanging around.

Thanks MadMax!! you read my mind. I want that peace and doing what I like even though i don't know what it is. My GC is several years away. I don't think I can continue like this for that long.


so here's what I've decided to do - my current project ends next month. I'll take 3 months off and return to US late Jan 2012. In the 3 months in Hyderabad, I'll try to reflect on my life back in US a bit more seriously and get a grip on things. It will also give me time to absorb the city with all its pros and cons. Based on how I feel in Jan, I'll close my shop and move to Hyderabad permanently shortly after.

How does that sound? :) thanks again for all your comments!