r2i forum

Why can't I be more like other women? Like women who love shopping.

The very idea of shopping makes me want to go back to sleep, or have another chocolate from the box meant for guests, or log in here and start a random thread or go read reader comments in CNN news stories.

Not talking just about shopping for clothes for self, that agony would be understandable... Any shopping is torture. Be it stuff for me, kids, gifts, house, electronics... even a dining table... and even flowers at the farmer's market. I am beginning to worry. I have amazon.com open in the next tab, and cannot for the life of me browse it to buy needed stuff.

They say "women shop, men buy". I am worse off than men!!!

How can I bring the zing back into shopping?

Maybe you are actually a man stuck in a woman's body? :wink

But, I don't think one should get stuck on being a "man" or "woman". For things you can't avoid, just have realign your thinking so that it does not have -ve effects on the self.

For example...I hate shaving....my beard. I used to yearn for a beard when I was in my teens. But, now I wish that I would go thru electrolysis or some kind of permanent hair removal so that I wouldn't have to go thru the chore of shaving and felt miserable about it. But, I saw the futility of fighting the reality, and I have not only adjusted to the thought of shaving but also enjoy the act. Sometimes, speaking out loud and telling yourself that you like it(affirmations) works wonders in the self accepting and adopting to the new thought. Try it out. GL.

Thanks MadMax, I will try it out. Might be will couple it with the juice-only diet. :) There was a time I shopped so much that I always had stuff to return in the trunk of my car. I used to sell so much stuff, I knew craigslist regulars by first name and we had a mutual promise to give each other first dibs on any listing.

About that shaving thing, I know... I mean, not really know, but I know... it is not a daily grooming step that can be skipped too often. Funny to think of a man sternly mouthing affirmations to his half-shaved face in the mirror. :) Though not as funny as a woman in a mall walking around muttering to herself that shopping is good for her. :)

I have never been anti-shopping, but shopping was not usually the top of my to-do lists for a holiday. I do the groceries and every other mundane shopping too, leave electronics to DH since that keeps him busy for a while. That sort of shopping is more of a must. In the Uk ,i like browsing through the specialist shops- only artwork, only baking, etc. I always loved going to the garden centres. But , my friends in the Uk would not remember me for my shopping interests, Iam sure.....
All that has changed after r2i. Now ,shopping is an important part of every trip. With an annual commitment to 3 conferences, I do travel to several areas of the country and everywhere, I make it a point to indulge in the local textiles and curios. Especially clothes- I love visiting some of the annual exhibitions with stalls from all over the country. This alone, Ive been to Jaipur, Lucknow and Vellore. 86 km from Vellore is Kanchipuram, so went there- did the shops and temples. Loved it.
Malls can get boring after a bit, but this kind of shopping is always interesting-to me.

I am soo glad there is some one like me who hates shopping. I think you might love Inida. I have not stepped in a grocery shop since I came back. We have home delivery. I call this shop person and give him list of things and he sends all the groceries home .

For kids clothes thanks to all my friends in US. They bring clothes for them....so I am spared...and then they have grown up cousins who they hang out with and do their own shopping in mall . For me my mom shops for my clothes and stuff. SO I really lov it out here. I hate going to malls.
SO its not like US frequent trips for shopping and hated doing that sp when we had to make a trip to India. Just to think of a gift that some one would like is a torture. In India ....its simple ....just give cash.

Three out of three women in this thread do not like shopping. Why can't DW be like that.

Actually I think it is a myth that only women like shopping. I think probably men more than women, who like shopping. Certainly in my family I do. I can shop for Electronics, soaps & shaving creams, & vegetables all day long. My wife can last 5 mins of any of these. At most she can spend time on her clothes. Even that I can out do her by 10:1 margin. (For her clothes itself).

Hi MV

Over the years I have realized how much of type-casting there is world-wide on what is typically Woman's way of looking at things and a Man's way of looking it. While one must agree that by and large these can be used as guidelines it is incorrect to typecast either gender person into that gender category.

Popular typecasting of Women 1) Can spend hours and hours shopping 2) Gossip more 3) Are more compassionate 4) Are better at cooking 5) Are bad drivers and so on.

Men on the other hand are 1) Good at jobs involving nuts and bolts 2) Are lousy when it comes to cooking 3) Are Good Drivers 4) Do not shop for a longer hours at a time 5) Tend to look more on the practical side of things rather than the emotional aspect of it and so on.

I used to believe in my younger days that the above is more or less 99.9% true that is till I discovered that I am good at cooking but have given on driving for the safety of humanity to name 2 aspects which are typicaly associated with women.

Much depends on each individual and finally with regards to you is it that you are surprised why you cant be like other women or is it that want to be like other women and that in itself is against your nature or what you like doing/feel comfortable doing. Finally one has to chose what one wants irrespective of whether it fits in with the crowd that one wants to identify with. If you are different from the crowd then so be it. Accept it. While most people talk about accepting one's spouse, boss, son/daughter and so on very few focus on the important acceptance of 'Oneself' and 'One's own nature'.

Regards

Venkat

MV,
I am the same..unless the clothes are ripping apart and the pants for the kids have become 'Raj Kapoor' style..it is hard to get me to move..and then I make sure I buy bell bottoms- so they last longer :)

You might like online shopping..