r2i forum

Background: Wife & I spent 3yrs in US on H1b. We were planning for a kid but couldn't conceive due to a medical condition. We took a vacation came down to India & planned treatment, god blessed with us two boys they're now 2+yrs. Wife stayed in India when she got pregnant, I came back to US.

I'm the only son, never really wanted to settle down in US so when the project/client changed H1b amendment was rejected for some reason, happily came back to India in 2016.

Company is asking me to go back to US, since my H1b petition is still valid, I agree I'll save more but wife says she cannot manage alone with two kids in US. So, either I will travel alone or will have to give a firm no to company.

Financial background:
We own a property in heart of Bangalore. Have own house, have constructed few shops for Rent in the front of the house. One tenant refused to vacate so got him evicted legally, shop is still empty.

The top 2 floors have been occupied by another tenant, case is going on but we hope to have a judgement by year end. Once this guy is evicted, I'm hoping our combined total rent would be around 65-75K/pm.

We've two other shops where wife has opened a Boutique & Salon, they're still new but just managing to survive. If we had to pay rent, don't think we would have had the courage to open it. Since its our building we've done. Worst case scenario - we can close it down & rent out the shops. Maybe we will get another 20K of rent.

I'm getting a salary of 70K working for services based IT company, I'll get more if I jump to another company but my current company offers me tremendous flexibilty , only have to be in office twice a week.

Have about 24L in MFs, don't plan to touch it for another 15-20 yrs.

I'm not exceptionally talented nor really aggressive about my career, wife & I prefer a laid-back lifestyle.

Even though I try not consider the property/rent when taking decisions, think I'm just slacking off. I see families where their assets/monthly income is considerably high than mine but they're motivated to earn/make more money. I think about what I could to with the extra money I earn if I work harder, then the next moment I think whats the point. I'm not going to be incredibly rich.

Ever since I can remember my goals were nothing much to talk about: an Omega Seamaster by 30yrs; Mercedes by 40yrs; Farm house by 50yrs; (Die at 60?? lol not sure) :p

How do I get motivated to achieve more? Maybe change of career once we start with the new rent? Don't really have any hobbies which I can convert into career.

Any thoughts?

Seek happiness over rat race. If ur content with this and happy then why bother. Making more money will come at the cost of time away from family n urself. It's only for people who love it and making money, getting deals done, etc gives them high. They cannot sit idle.
However I feel each one of us should be passionate. Be it work or sports or anything else. Don't worry about money it can never make you happy.
That being said 70k for 2 days is an awesome job.

I never fail to be impressed by the financial planning of Indians.

The key is to live off others while doing minimal work yourself. You are well on your way towards that goal by becoming a landlord. The idea of building shops in front of your property to rent out to others is a good one.

I don't think you should go to USA as that would mean severing yourself from your family. Stay in India as India is a good place if you know how to survive here. You also have a very good attitude as both you and your wife are laid back. That is the key to enjoying life. No point being stressed to earn lots of money and then not being able to enjoy it. Stay in your current job which is giving you a decent salary and lets you stay at home for most of the time.

If they start insisting that you go onsite, make your concerns known to them or look for alternative employment in India itself.

You are already living the dream my friend, don't think too much.

Abhijith ji, listen to your wife. Once you understand that your wife is right and making her happy is the secret to your own happiness, you will be happy. It is indeed difficult to manage alone in the USA with two young kids. In my experience, sons are difficult to raise than daughters until they they hit teenage years.

Fortunately for you, money appears to be secondary in your search for happiness. Not many can claim to be in this situation. I say this because, to me it seems like you have all the basic comforts of life in an urban setting. For motivation, look at the faces of your sons (twins?) and spend as much play time with them as possible. I wish you the very best!

Provide training and backup to freshers for a fee since your job is flexible.
This will give you some extra income.

With 2 kids, H1 hurdles and no GC in sight, its not worth coming to US if you have decent backup in India.

Enjoy and have fun :)

Since your company is giving so much flexibility and decent pay why not tell them you will do a short term visit to USA (<6 months). This you can do alone. This will give you the change/motivation that you are looking for. Also, you get to retain your job with the company (assuming if that is your desire).

Btw: Tell us more about renting out to shops. I have a piece of land in Hyd and suddenly it became commercial property since its road facing. Originally I wanted to build a house on it but now that its main road facing it make sense to build shops/build space for office/banks etc. However is it worth going through the hassle of dealing with legal issues with shop owners? How do you deal with selecting proper shop owners and making sure they pay rents on time and not hassle you with evictions and such?

returning_indian;668423 That being said 70k for 2 days is an awesome job.

Its actually a FT job but I get what you're saying :)

DrJ;668428Abhijith ji, listen to your wife. Once you understand that your wife is right and making her happy is the secret to your own happiness, you will be happy. It is indeed difficult to manage alone in the USA with two young kids. In my experience, sons are difficult to raise than daughters until they they hit teenage years.

Totally agree with my wife. In India we've hired help as well family support to take care of children, it'll be just two of us in US. Dont think this will work out.

Also, quite a few people have told me this, raising two boys upto a certain age is very difficult compared to girls.

Desi2return;668442Since your company is giving so much flexibility and decent pay why not tell them you will do a short term visit to USA (<6 months). This you can do alone. This will give you the change/motivation that you are looking for. Also, you get to retain your job with the company (assuming if that is your desire).

Btw: Tell us more about renting out to shops. I have a piece of land in Hyd and suddenly it became commercial property since its road facing. Originally I wanted to build a house on it but now that its main road facing it make sense to build shops/build space for office/banks etc. However is it worth going through the hassle of dealing with legal issues with shop owners? How do you deal with selecting proper shop owners and making sure they pay rents on time and not hassle you with evictions and such?

I was also going to propose that I stay for 6months & return back to India but once you get there you're at your managers mercy & they'll cite 100 reasons to extend your stay. This year 3/4 people had applied for H1b from my team, all were selected in the lottery, got RFE then were rejected.

If you're planning to build something to rent now, you can always consider ATMs/Banks/offices, they're easy to deal with than individual tenants. You can also build party hall on the top floor. Co-working space is the new rage. In BLR we've a few of these in upscale neighborhoods but nothing in my part of town.

Either you'll need political/muscle power to get them evicted. If you've neither like us you'll have to go to court, the entire process will take at least 2-3 years.

If you're staying outside India, the only option I'd suggest is to rent it out for ATM/banks.

AbhijithS;668512Its actually a FT job but I get what you're saying :)



Totally agree with my wife. In India we've hired help as well family support to take care of children, it'll be just two of us in US. Dont think this will work out.

Also, quite a few people have told me this, raising two boys upto a certain age is very difficult compared to girls.



I was also going to propose that I stay for 6months & return back to India but once you get there you're at your managers mercy & they'll cite 100 reasons to extend your stay. This year 3/4 people had applied for H1b from my team, all were selected in the lottery, got RFE then were rejected.

If you're planning to build something to rent now, you can always consider ATMs/Banks/offices, they're easy to deal with than individual tenants. You can also build party hall on the top floor. Co-working space is the new rage. In BLR we've a few of these in upscale neighborhoods but nothing in my part of town.

Either you'll need political/muscle power to get them evicted. If you've neither like us you'll have to go to court, the entire process will take at least 2-3 years.

If you're staying outside India, the only option I'd suggest is to rent it out for ATM/banks.

Always enjoy posts made by smart and honest people on this forum.
Keep it up Abhijith :thup:

AbhijithS;668512Its actually a FT job but I get what you're saying :)



Totally agree with my wife. In India we've hired help as well family support to take care of children, it'll be just two of us in US. Dont think this will work out.

Also, quite a few people have told me this, raising two boys upto a certain age is very difficult compared to girls.



I was also going to propose that I stay for 6months & return back to India but once you get there you're at your managers mercy & they'll cite 100 reasons to extend your stay. This year 3/4 people had applied for H1b from my team, all were selected in the lottery, got RFE then were rejected.

If you're planning to build something to rent now, you can always consider ATMs/Banks/offices, they're easy to deal with than individual tenants. You can also build party hall on the top floor. Co-working space is the new rage. In BLR we've a few of these in upscale neighborhoods but nothing in my part of town.

Either you'll need political/muscle power to get them evicted. If you've neither like us you'll have to go to court, the entire process will take at least 2-3 years.

If you're staying outside India, the only option I'd suggest is to rent it out for ATM/banks.

Thanks for your suggestions - Yes looking for low maintenance and hassle free tenants even if money is less.

Boys are hard to deal with only if you pamper them and spoil them. If you install appropriate discipline right from the get go, they are pleasure to raise. You can spend quality time with them and if you are like me, you will look forward to spending time with them.

As for as your short US trip is concerned, I would look at it as an edge that you can gain at your workplace....all of a sudden after your US trip, you will have valuable skillset that your co-workers don't have....so you can use that to your advantage.

Once you are in USA, don't put 100% efforts :-) just put minimum effort to ensure you won't get fired but give out mediocre performance. Client will send you back to India automatically in 6 months.

AbhijithS;668512.....Also, quite a few people have told me this, raising two boys upto a certain age is very difficult compared to girls,,,,.

We have raised two boys and we are quite satisfied with the out come. No experience with girls. May be it would have been more difficult. I just can not handle the ONE. Perhaps she did the raising up and I was just surfing along.

But I do miss not having had a girl, because I have been told that girls/father have a special bond, hopefully a co-valent one.