r2i forum

Hi,

This is my first post to the forum. Need forum members advice in regards to our situation.

Currently my husband and I live in Bangalore and 10 year old daughter, moved here 6 years ago from US. We R2Ied for family and the kid to have a happy childhood. Our intention worked out with moderate success and we are beginning to feel if this would be a good phase to move back to US again.

Reasons -

1. Possibility of daughter doing college education in US since she is an US citizen. Now is a good time for her and us to explore the system and culture without rushing through. There is time for us to even go back to India if things don't work out.

2. Lack of extra curriculars - We have not found good teachers for our daughter to pursue extra curricular. We tried different activities for her but somehow things dont workout beyond a 6 months or 1 year time frame. She is interested in dance and sports. Either it is lack of infrastructure within the apartment community or poor quality teaching or good teachers move on somewhere. We hope this wont be the case in USA.

3.More outdoors in US compared to India. We are unable to do any short trips in blr. It may increase in US and we may have good family time.

Cons -

1. My daughter has good number of friends here and never bored. She is afraid she will be lonely there.

2. Husband has started to travel frequently to USA and his health can get affected if it continues for more years.

3. Giving up the comfort zone and redo from scratch.

What do you suggest?

hsriram;673201

Reasons -

1. Possibility of daughter doing college education in US since she is an US citizen. Now is a good time for her and us to explore the system and culture without rushing through. There is time for us to even go back to India if things don't work out.

2. Lack of extra curriculars - We have not found good teachers for our daughter to pursue extra curricular. We tried different activities for her but somehow things dont workout beyond a 6 months or 1 year time frame. She is interested in dance and sports. Either it is lack of infrastructure within the apartment community or poor quality teaching or good teachers move on somewhere. We hope this wont be the case in USA.

3.More outdoors in US compared to India. We are unable to do any short trips in blr. It may increase in US and we may have good family time.

Cons -

1. My daughter has good number of friends here and never bored. She is afraid she will be lonely there.

2. Husband has started to travel frequently to USA and his health can get affected if it continues for more years.

3. Giving up the comfort zone and redo from scratch.

What do you suggest?

My two cents. Lot of kids study in the US _after_ studying in India (or other places). So that should not be a decision driver
Extra Curricular: US will be better for sure; Quality of teachers is also good; If your child shows talent in areas where she could flourish better being the US you should consider; For Indianess realted learning (like Carnatic, Kuchipudi etc) must be in a larger city like Dallas or Atlanta or Bay Area
Outdoors: True; but accessibility may be an issue depening on where you live; if you live in Kansas there is not much of outdoors unless local park is regarded as outdoor.

Think about real reasons to make the move; it is _not_ easy; also one should not fall into trap of finding reasons to jusify a course of action (it should go the other way). Also, having done the move from US to India to US; grass is never green on any side.

My advice is to stay in India. Children can have a happy life in India provided there is not much pressure about studies. If you are worried about studies and career, then best to move to US.

I didn't understand the point about husband travelling to USA. You want to move to USA so his travel there for work becomes easier or what?

Tsozum;673203
Extra Curricular: US will be better for sure; Quality of teachers is also good; If your child shows talent in areas where she could flourish better being the US you should consider; For Indianess realted learning (like Carnatic, Kuchipudi etc) must be in a larger city like Dallas or Atlanta or Bay Area
Outdoors: True; but accessibility may be an issue depening on where you live; if you live in Kansas there is not much of outdoors unless local park is regarded as outdoor.

My daughter is interested in contemporary dance but most learning centres around are very commercial. I would like to see her learn from a single instructor for a longer period of time. Changing instructors and finding the next best one is a hassle.
Yeah local parks and doing simple fun activities like cycling or kayaking is not a possibility here.

FlavourFlave;673208My advice is to stay in India. Children can have a happy life in India provided there is not much pressure about studies. If you are worried about studies and career, then best to move to US.

I didn't understand the point about husband travelling to USA. You want to move to USA so his travel there for work becomes easier or what?

Yes the constant back and forth travel disturbs his sleep cycles (because of jet lags or late night meetings owing to time zone differences).
Even more, he feels he is constrained by being in India and is not able to deliver work to his best capacity.

hsriram;673223Yes the constant back and forth travel disturbs his sleep cycles (because of jet lags or late night meetings owing to time zone differences).
Even more, he feels he is constrained by being in India and is not able to deliver work to his best capacity.

Y


You need to revisit why you R2Ied in the first place. If it was just to give your child a feel of India, then you have done that already. As kids grow older, they prefer US since there is less competition for them. You really need a strong pull from multiple sources like ageing parents, close relative and friends and spouse not willing to move back to US for you to continue to stay in India

Good luck

I would advice against coming back to the US.

1) The ages between 12 -16 are delicate for young ones and its best they are in a conservative country in this phase. All said and done, South India is still far more conservative than US.

2) extra-curricular activities are over-rated. unless you see extra-ordinary talent that begs further development, IMHO - its not important.

3) If you are not making time to travel in India , then what makes you think you will do so in US.

The grass is no greener here,....stay in one place, develop deep roots, be happy and content.

Come to the US, for other reasons, but the ones you listed are not convincing.

hsriram;673201Hi,

This is my first post to the forum. Need forum members advice in regards to our situation.

Currently my husband and I live in Bangalore and 10 year old daughter, moved here 6 years ago from US. We R2Ied for family and the kid to have a happy childhood. Our intention worked out with moderate success and we are beginning to feel if this would be a good phase to move back to US again.

Reasons -

1. Possibility of daughter doing college education in US since she is an US citizen. Now is a good time for her and us to explore the system and culture without rushing through. There is time for us to even go back to India if things don't work out.

2. Lack of extra curriculars - We have not found good teachers for our daughter to pursue extra curricular. We tried different activities for her but somehow things dont workout beyond a 6 months or 1 year time frame. She is interested in dance and sports. Either it is lack of infrastructure within the apartment community or poor quality teaching or good teachers move on somewhere. We hope this wont be the case in USA.

3.More outdoors in US compared to India. We are unable to do any short trips in blr. It may increase in US and we may have good family time.

Cons -

1. My daughter has good number of friends here and never bored. She is afraid she will be lonely there.

2. Husband has started to travel frequently to USA and his health can get affected if it continues for more years.

3. Giving up the comfort zone and redo from scratch.

What do you suggest?

Based on your situation, its better to decide yourself rathar than asking here.

Reasons -
1. Possibility of daughter doing college education in US since she is an US citizen.... She is 10 right now (prolly in 4-5 grade), let her enjoy herself another 7-8 years. These are the formative years of confidence in social relationships. What if she doesn't get a good group in US where she is comfortable. Right now she has a friend circle where she can have a normal growth. Do you really want to take that away from her in the remote possibility that it will make her little more comfortable during college ( which she may or may not do in US)

2. Lack of extra curriculars - We have not found good teachers for our daughter to pursue extra curricular... True US will have lot better infrastructure but then the standard of sports will be much higher in US as well. Ask yourself this ? Are her chances to make school team in Tennis ( or basketball or ...) more right now or will it be more in US? See If she is not going pro in sports than what matters is that she has exposure, interest and confidence that will come more if she is considered a good player in whatever place she is in.

3.More outdoors in US compared to India. : India has plenty outdoors. Its not that organized and systematic and you have to make much more individual arrangements.


Cons -

1. My daughter has good number of friends here and never bored. She is afraid she will be lonely there.

2. Husband has started to travel frequently to USA and his health can get affected if it continues for more years.: This should be pro-US and frequent long distance travel will take its toll, Imho you guys should strategize on how to reduce it.

3. Giving up the comfort zone and redo from scratch.: Its true that R2A is pretty easy as you already know the system, you have SSN, bank accounts, credit history etc but that's just one aspect of it. As we age it gets more and more difficult to make new friends, form new social circles and adjust to new environment.

What do you suggest?
Overall none of your reasons seem strong enough to make a such a drastic move. Unless there are some other more compelling reasons I would suggest stay put, relax and enjoy...