How to cope when a great relation goes sore

[wapis]

What would you do if a very good relation say with a sister/brother - that you valued a lot goes sore?

You have tried your best to bring it back on the track - making phone calls, talking of the old times and telling them how great we used to be.
Things improve but you don't get what you used to get out of it. Things seems artificial afterwards, like other person is not the same. Old feeling of love & affection is not there any more. You feel like they have moved on. You want to move on too but deep down you still want things to get better but it seems other person does not care any more. Their nice talks sounds fakes - like they are just trying to be nice but actually are not any more.

How would you cope?
Would you make any life changing decision based on the current state of relationship, assuming things will get better eventually?
Would you back down a little and bring it to the level playing field again, let the time play its role?
Would you make them feel that they too are not important any more either - to make them feel insecure/bad?

Thanks,

[TowardsHome]

If it was a great relation, especially with a sibling,it definitely hurts, but most of the times these low points in good relationships are transient. Like most things in life , relationships have their low points.Many times time and space are what all that is needed to smooth things out. Seems like you genuinely value the relationship. So , retaliation will only makes things worse and definitely reinforce the other party's perception of "your wrongs". I think you should give time a chance, back off , let the other party know you like them genuinely and things will eventually return to normal.

[QUOTE]Their nice talks sounds fakes - like they are just trying to be nice but actually are not any
more.

Do not break your head over this . Some times our own perception of things clouds our judgement. May be the other party is genuinely nice or may be not, but at this stage you should definitely give benefit of doubt to the other person if you want things to be normal

After all this attempts , this cannot be resuscitated then move on, After all it takes two hands to clap. But at least that will give you a sense of closure in that you have tried your best and you will not be left with any guilt. Most of the time its the guilt that hurts

[dbs]

What would you do if a very good relation say with a sister/brother - that you valued a lot goes sore?

Yes, I would try everything possible, except...

It depends on why the relationship went sour.
If it was over money or anything materialistic, I would not compromise on that if I felt that I had done the right thing. Backing down over such things will not bring the relationship back, it would still be dependent on your giving in again and again.

If it was over some misunderstanding such as a disrespect or lack of courtsey, disregard or apparent indifference; I would back down and explain why it happenned and that it was not meant to be that.

No, I would not try to teach them a lesson by making them feel un-important or insignificant, nor would I make any life-changing decision to make them feel better.

But I would show that they still mean a lot to me by asking for their advice, make them feel an important part of my life.

Hopefully time will heal the wounds.
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That friendship will not continue to the end which is begun for an end.