Techie kills wife and then commits suicide

dhr · Post by **dhr** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:03 am

I had heard this a lot about Bangalore, people induldging into extra marital affairs, live in relations, BPO girls and guys induldging in free sex in office etc etc,

But after reading todays sad news on times of India , how the Infosys software engineer Amit Budhiraj killed his wife Rinku Sachdeva and then later committed suicide, apparent reason being extra marital affair of his wife with her colleague and late night work schedules of his wife. I feel that the boiling point has already reached,

I am sure this news will make everyone feel sad about the state of affairs we are in today in our day to day lives.

we should take this as a sign of deeper issues in society today esp those who are married working In IT and BPO sector

Why is commitment lost? what is that a person needs? when a person gets what he or she wants, then why that thing loses a meaning once its possessed.?

People should think calmly rather than take drastic steps and try to resolve issues, though its easier said than done, but doing something which will end in disaster too is not right.

I hope and pray that such incidences dont happen too often and that all live in peace including the departed souls.
************************************************************************************************
The three-page suicide note written by Amit describes the reason for his action and his wishes after death. He addressed the suicide note separately to his parents, his siblings, the police, and to 'whomsoever concerned'. It also includes details of the bequeathal of his property and claims full responsibility for his death

Excerpts from the suicide note : "From the first day after marriage, both of us were not compatible and we had regular fights. Recently I had picked up a fight with her (Rinku) and she had apologised to me. Despite our differences, I did not intend to divorce her as I love her and I had an intuition that if I applied for a divorce, she would accuse my family of dowry harassment. I did not give this a chance.''

"We shared no decent physical or emotional relationship. Until recently we were sharing one bedroom. Few months ago she went to Muscat to her parents and after she returned, she preferred to stay in another bedroom. She was always on her mobile phone, either SMSing or talking to someone, behind closed doors. From her indifferent behaviour, I suspected that she had an affair with someone. On March 20, I placed my laptop with a camera switched on in her bedroom.

On March 21, I saw that she was talking to one of her colleagues and she had expressed her love for him. From her gestures I understood that she had an affair with him''.

"Rinku told me that if she ever found out that I had an extra-marital affair, she would murder me and then commit suicide. I have only followed her idea''.

"I bequeath all my property, including money and other valuables to my mother''.

b2b · Post by **b2b** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:18 am

http://broadband.indiatimes.com/videoshow/2892035.cms

moneyIsNot_funny · Post by **moneyIsNot_funny** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:20 am

Just because one story was printed doesnt mean a thing. Indian society didnt suddenly just turn from a virtuous society to a dirty society. Its always been like that - except that it seems to be getting more common. Its upto us to accept it as a reality of a "civilized" society, or fret over it.

b2b · Post by **b2b** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:20 am

Amit Budharaju with wife Rinku Sachdeva

An Infosys employee, Amit Budharaju, 30, has committed suicide after killing his wife in Bangalore, today (March 23).

Amit worked as an engineer in the software major, while his wife Rinku Sachdeva worked as a marketing executive with Standard Chartered.

Their dead bodies were found this morning when a friend of the couple visited the house. A suicide note has revealed that the techie suspected his wife of having an extra marital affair and also had reservations about her working late nights.

The couple were married for almost a year.

http://www.timesnow.tv/NewsDtls.aspx?NewsID=6701

dhr · Post by **dhr** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:35 am

moneyIsNot_funny;90407Just because one story was printed doesnt mean a thing. Indian society didnt suddenly just turn from a virtuous society to a dirty society. Its always been like that - except that it seems to be getting more common. Its upto us to accept it as a reality of a "civilized" society, or fret over it.

if civilization means to cheat each other, to divorce , to have extra marital affair, then is this really a civilization? rather it should be other way

manuchabria · Post by **manuchabria** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:39 am

What's wrong with extra martial affairs ?

If your spouse is not satifying the other either metally or physically or emotionally then an affair is inevitable and is needed

Extra martial affiars are ok. Murder is not

moneyIsNot_funny · Post by **moneyIsNot_funny** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:43 am

dhr;90409if civilization means to cheat each other, to divorce , to have extra marital affair, then is this really a civilization? rather it should be other way

DBS, surely you noticed by quotes around the word. Its the reality of the society where both men and women are educated and liberalized. Its a byproduct of civilization, whether you accept it or not. When you have lot of men and women working in close quarters for most part of the day, its an unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on one's point of view) byproduct of liberalization/civilization/whatever you put it.

Rather than debating about the nuances of civilized society first, I would rather focus on the fact that the guy in question had no right to murder someone over the choices she exercises in her life (sure everything was good when only men can have indiscretions and women are limited to household duties, eh?). If he had a problem, he should have divorced her. Murder's not the solution, and thats what I would focus here, rather than the civilized indiscretions. The young lady had a right to her life and her choices.

neesha · Post by **neesha** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:59 am

manuchabria;90411What's wrong with extra martial affairs ?
[/quote]

I don't see any issue with extra martial affairs.

[quote]
If your spouse is not satifying the other either metally or physically or emotionally then an affair is inevitable and is needed
[/quote]

Also, it is not any kind of failure of one spouse that leads the other spouse to any extra martial affair/s.

(IMO) Often, we don't have any control on who we get attracted to or what we feel about others but we definitely have a control on how we express it or what we decide to do with it.

[quote]
Extra martial affiars are ok. Murder is not

Agreed, murder is not at all justifiable in such situation.

dhr · Post by **dhr** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:03 am

moneyIsNot_funny;90412DBS, surely you noticed by quotes around the word. Its the reality of the society where both men and women are educated and liberalized. Its a byproduct of civilization, whether you accept it or not. When you have lot of men and women working in close quarters for most part of the day, its an unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on one's point of view) byproduct of liberalization/civilization/whatever you put it.

Rather than debating about the nuances of civilized society first, I would rather focus on the fact that the guy in question had no right to murder someone over the choices she exercises in her life (sure everything was good when only men can have indiscretions and women are limited to household duties, eh?). If he had a problem, he should have divorced her. Murder's not the solution, and thats what I would focus here, rather than the civilized indiscretions. The young lady had a right to her life and her choices.[/quote]
yes those choices are not unlimited when married, marriage is a binding and no one forced her to , infact she should have walked out rather than cheat and stay in marriage . at times emotions dont listen to heart or mind and in marriage when someone is ditched, one feels many emotions and its not easy to just let go like you said at times , again it depends on personality but there are all kinds of people then, again all this is easy when said and tough to do. be it men or women .

However murder is not justified in any case

moneyIsNot_funny · Post by **moneyIsNot_funny** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:09 am

DHR - My apologies for misquoting your handle.

You have a point. Still those are her choices, and "inability to handle emotions" shouldnt be excused as an excuse for him. By the way, lets just say that these are "alleged" indiscretions - there are enough men (and women) around who keep believing that their spouses are up to something. Just because he said so doesn't mean it happened so.

Its strange that we didn't have this kind of a debate when men have such indiscretions. No one said that men should end their marriage at that time, rather than cheat :)