R2i are we there yet!!!

ssripada · Post by **ssripada** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:42 am

Hi

Here is a brief Intro I will build this as I go along !!

Came to USA in 1997 as single , Married in 1999 settled in VA after all the USC process have 2 kids 1 in 4th grade(Son) 1 is 4 years old(Daughter) . Was planning to R2I since 2008 ..with lots of confusion on how to handle the Home we bought in the peak in 2005

Despite the issues involved in selling home

1 )Wife quit Job

2) Kid took early break from school

3 )All of them left in April minus me

4) single family on Short sale not knowing what will happen

INDIA STATUS
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1 Planned day of travel April 16th got postoponed boz of volcano in iceland first roadblock impacting the schedule of admission in VIZAG ( for admission in Vizag (No relatives in VIZAG ,wanted to stay away from all the relatives for mainitaing sanity)

2 Finally they leave on April 20th and the school in VIZAG say they want the kids to come in June 1st week for admission tests ,Son still worried about missing frnds and INDIA life. Daughter excited since first flight after knowing abt planes

3 They finally go for admission on June 11th and each Kid is asked donation of 25 K + TERM FEE OF 15 K (NO TRANSPORATION ) Books dress extra !! after admission test with a stress to improve the 2nd lang (Hindi)

4 Logistics in VIZAG to be set up got delayed bcoz of the whole push back in admission so started DPS in HYD 40K initial donation + 20 K fpr the whole year + Transportation + dress etc times 2 , Aprtment in vizag per months will be ready end of this month with RS 13K /mnth (Gas connection issues)

5) Apartment in hyd ,

Ideal place to relocate for me VIZAG (Given the less pollution, tless traffic ,less cultural influence ,potential growth ,and ideal for education)

US STATUS
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Staying alone , to mainitian some neatness and condition of the house for prospective buyer visits all furniture etc in tact

Put the home for shortsale in APRIL for 6 months contract with REALTOR

1 Got an offer in 1 week 1st Bank wanted 25k more than the Buyers price , 2nd bank wanted me to pay the balance despite the short sale ($80K) ,Buyer backs off ...Story Short House is still on Short sale (ARM Restting september increasing the payment by $900/mnth )

I still dont know "ARE WE THERE YET" on R2I

Seems The more I try the farther R2I seems to me at this moment ...

currently dropped the R2I to vizag due to logistics involved (COMPORMISING ON THE RELATIVES)

Still admission not sorted out for kids Schools started in DPS in april (loss of month of school)

Should I bring them back in August to continue life as before Dropping the whole R2I for the rest of our lives?

OR

Keep them there for 1 year despite the hick ups in school admission and TRY THE Home SHORT sale ?
(Loss of Funds in case I bring them back after 1 year )

worried what future might hold or how this this all turns out to be AM I BEING TOO ADVENTOROUS is this all worth IT ?? (from the kids point of view ).. Suggestions welcome What am I doing wrong ...

PeterGriffin · Post by **PeterGriffin** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:56 am

May i ask your reason to R2I?

You want to stay away from all relatives. I couldn't understand if your move was to infuse some Indian culture in your kids or for the quality of education in Vizag, which i doubt is the reason. There also seems to be problems with the school admissions in India to add to your woes. You also have a major problem in selling off your house.

With all these problems above, i wonder what's motivating you to move back.

ssripada · Post by **ssripada** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:08 am

Peter

The main reason to R2I is Mainly Culture,Education for kids ,Parents .I knew the challenges involved but seems like some of the challenges are slowly slipping out of my hand !!

As far as relatives I dont hate them per se I would like to have less influence and interference

r2i_real · Post by **r2i_real** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:21 am

Ssripada,

Based on the reasons you provided, the small glitches during the move (selling house, finding the right school are just minor obstacles in the bigger scheme of things) should not derail your long term plans. If you are keen on providing your kids with indian education, it might take you the first year to try out and then settle on the right school. If you are keep in living in indian culture, selling the house is painful but it will eventually sell...so, in my opinion, you just need to stay focused and take the storm head-on as long as you are commited to your r2i motives...

Good luck and hope everything works for you!

ssripada · Post by **ssripada** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:09 pm

Home still on sale with very few visitings Market deteriorated since I started this ORDEAL !!

Kids close to getting accustomed to the change in Env ...

Hanging in there initial Euphoria of "Single" Life died down eventually still feel as if I am at crossroads!!

vizagdesi · Post by **vizagdesi** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:43 am

ssripada;307393Home still on sale with very few visitings Market deteriorated since I started this ORDEAL !!

Kids close to getting accustomed to the change in Env ...

Hanging in there initial Euphoria of "Single" Life died down eventually still feel as if I am at crossroads!!

Hi Sripada: You could have contacted me for any help in Vizag.. I know the schools locally and could have helped you with other matters as well. Anyway, as long as your mind is clear that R2I is for the long-term betterment (whatever it means) of your family unit, not being able to sell the home is a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things. But make sure taht you have strong convictions for R2I. Honestly telling you, kids will be much better off in the US (in the long run). They may seems like brats with no respect and a typical ABCD.. through their teens but once they get into their mid-20's most ABCDs do turn out to be quite cool-headed. I have seen it in my own extended family. Sure, they still may not know much about Diwali, Holi etc and may not get excited about Navratri or Cricket, but still at the core they are as much Indian as we are. So, not sure if R2Iing for the sake of kids is a good reason. I have R2Ied primarily for myself (sense of belonging), for my parents (be with them) and finally get some Indianness into the kids (4th grade son, 5 yr old daughter).

What about on the job front? As you are well aware, Vizag is not much of a blip on the Indian IT map.

oasis138 · Post by **oasis138** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:53 am

vizagdesi;307500Hi Sripada: You could have contacted me for any help in Vizag.. I know the schools locally and could have helped you with other matters as well. Anyway, as long as your mind is clear that R2I is for the long-term betterment (whatever it means) of your family unit, not being able to sell the home is a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things. But make sure taht you have strong convictions for R2I. Honestly telling you, kids will be much better off in the US (in the long run). They may seems like brats with no respect and a typical ABCD.. through their teens but once they get into their mid-20's most ABCDs do turn out to be quite cool-headed. I have seen it in my own extended family. Sure, they still may not know much about Diwali, Holi etc and may not get excited about Navratri or Cricket, but still at the core they are as much Indian as we are. So, not sure if R2Iing for the sake of kids is a good reason. I have R2Ied primarily for myself (sense of belonging), for my parents (be with them) and finally get some Indianness into the kids (4th grade son, 5 yr old daughter).

What about on the job front? As you are well aware, Vizag is not much of a blip on the Indian IT map.

"but still at the core they are as much Indian as we are. " - I am curious to know what's your basis of this claim? They are born as Americans and do every activity as american kids would...how and WHY should they be Indian?

vizagdesi · Post by **vizagdesi** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:57 am

oasis138;307505"but still at the core they are as much Indian as we are. " - I am curious to know what's your basis of this claim? They are born as Americans and do every activity as american kids would...how and WHY should they be Indian?

What in your opinion is "Indianness"? If it is celebrating festivals and being a veggie and being a virgin then by these standards these are not Indians (and so are many people living in India).

If it is to be proud of their religiion, proud of their ancestry and feeling "at home" more with Indians than with non-Indians, preferring Indian food, strong preference to marry Indian descent guy/girl, respecting the wishes of parents etc etc then these kids are definitely as Indian as we are.

oasis138 · Post by **oasis138** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:30 pm

vizagdesi;307508What in your opinion is "Indianness"? If it is celebrating festivals and being a veggie and being a virgin then by these standards these are not Indians (and so are many people living in India).

If it is to be proud of their religiion, proud of their ancestry and feeling "at home" more with Indians than with non-Indians, preferring Indian food, strong preference to marry Indian descent guy/girl, respecting the wishes of parents etc etc then these kids are definitely as Indian as we are.

Ok lets look at the various points you made that defines Indianness -
1. If it is to be proud of their religiion, - We are a secular country so not sure what you mean by religion...i assume Hindu...not sure folks in US thump along religious and cultural lines as Indians do...again not sure why being born into a Hindu family in US makes one Indian.
2. proud of their ancestry and - If they have never/rarely been to India and been predominantly brought up in US how do they get a chance to see Indian ancestry?
3.feeling "at home" more with Indians than with non-Indians, - Not sure why kids born to Indian parents in US would want to hang out with other desi kids alone...kind of defeats the purpose of bringing them up in the US
4. preferring Indian food, - Well if their parents cook and eat Indian food at home since the kid's early age naturally the US born desi kid would come to like Indian food.
5. strong preference to marry Indian descent guy/girl, - again goes back to why bring them up in the US when you want to enforce your choice on them
6.respecting the wishes of parents etc etc then these kids are definitely as Indian as we are

I get the sense that you believe in bringing up Indian kids in the US as you would bring up Indian kids in India....goes back to what i said in a separate post...its not the US born kids that should be classified ABCD...that applies more to their parents.

vizagdesi · Post by **vizagdesi** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:39 pm

oasis138;307659Ok lets look at the various points you made that defines Indianness -

I ain't gonna debate with you point by point. I read the first line above and thought.. hmmm... this guy got a lot of free time on his hands and want to engage in pointless (in my opinion) debate. Didn't read your post above completely.... You are free to make whatever you want to make out of my post. I just told what I felt based on what I saw in Indian descent US born kids of my generation..

If you got too much time, feel free to dabble in the nitty gritty details of all the threads on this forum.