Chores or no chores for kids?

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M V
Posts: 5059
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:56 am

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by M V »

Plan2010;387557I would like to hear more on this. I have always wondered where do we draw the line on giving kids a free hand over teaching them to be responsible and disciplined.

What is considered a chore? Cleaning up toys after play, keeping their rooms tidy, watering the plants...basically age appropriate tasks... are they considered a chore? Shouldn't the kids pitch in to help mom and dad wherever possible, rather being treated as little princesses and princes forever? ...


Reacher;387647My simpleton mind believes until they are dependent on us for needs or wants, they will have it unconditionally. That's also my all round motivation. The model is to pay forward.They can/will live king/prince size in our home and wish they could afford or be motivated enough to provide king/prince size life to their generations to come. I have 0 expectations. At least I tried and that's what counts to me.

Sorry chores, discipline are foreign to me and I have no intention to learn.

Happiness at all costs is what counts. Happy childhood trumps everything.

Responsibilities will come naturally, when they fly on their own, to their choice of destination. They got the entire adulthood to be saddled with.

maya1;382058I did not do any chores while growing up...we were expected to do well in studies and play..we were not even allowed to study when my dad was around...rest was grown ups head aches...but then i grew up in joint family with loads and loads of grown up were at our beck and call...but we were expected to scratch backs, do head massages,feet massages, walk on the backs of the grown ups in the night.. but never felt the burden of the chores later on..when time came we did all these chores and much more with an ease..no issues.


Been mulling over these posts for a while. My kids can do and will do some basic chores by themselves or a little reminding and some age-appropriate cribbing, but as I see their middle school, high school and college years & adult life with its responsibilities looming closer, I am leaning more towards what is in Reacher's and Maya's posts. My kids could be reading in the backyard or digging for 'fossils' and looking up at the clouds in the sky, and tell each other some deep stuff that I overhear from inside, or they could be doing chores....

Any thoughts or opinions on "chores or no chores for kids"?
sumachechi
Posts: 1339
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:00 am

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by sumachechi »

[QUOTE] My kids could be reading in the backyard or digging for 'fossils' and looking up at the clouds in the sky, and tell each other some deep stuff that I overhear from inside, or they could be doing chores....


Why not both?
I grew up doing chores- like maya1, maintaining my form in studies at school was the biggest expectation ,but I did a lot of the shopping at home. Esp vegetables- because my brother would never find 'certain' veg( the ones he disliked) at the market. We all helped to clean house on weekends and as we grew older washed our own clothes( including my bro) and once in college, learnt to iron them as well! No washing machine or maid- if we didnt do it, my mum would have to!
My kids have enough time after school to ensure their washed clothes are put away, put the one's for ironing in the ironing bag( for the isthiri-guy), and help with setting table for dinner. Plus play around, wander around colony plus do their homework and obtain whatever signatures necessary from us plus watch TV and philosophise if they needed to!
It doesnt have to be one or the other in my book.
M V
Posts: 5059
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:56 am

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by M V »

sumachechi;393558Why not both? [/quote]
Because in the time they do chores they can be NOT doing chores and be doing something else. : ) Whatever time and energy parents spend in instilling the chores habit in kids can be be spent in other ways.

Summer vacation is just starting, and I was thinking I can let the dreamer in my kid dream after a very hectic academic year when non-essential chores often took a backseat, or we can work on her learning how to finish chores before play.. and all other such good habits. She could be cleaning some part of the house or she could be reading a book. I don't know... if I count there are just so few weeks & months of vacation left in her school life before college starts in a few years, I want to let her be... She helping me cook is different from unloading the dishwasher, for example.

It doesn't really have to no chores or chores, but like I said, time kids and parents invest in kids doing chores could be spent in other ways..

I guess I am instinctively half-convinced and am looking for more assurance about this Reacher-ism: :)

Responsibilities will come naturally, when they fly on their own, to their choice of destination. They got the entire adulthood to be saddled with.

If responsibilities will come naturally, and there is no reason to believe they won't, why the hassle of chores for kids...
okonomi
Posts: 4381
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:18 pm

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by okonomi »

Reacherism works. We have locally "made", locally raised kids, who are now occasional visitors. They come home ready and prepared to do some "regular maintenance chores". We also host some completely un-chored, desh-raised college-age boys. These kids do chores without any prods: the examples of those occasional visitors as well as (we suspect) prods from parents in desh may be the causes. We are happy to notice that kids raised in the tropics behave like nordics in the winter, go cross country skiing and use elbow grease and shoulder power in snow shovelling.
If parents deem their kids are not taking advantage of softie parents, preteens ought to be allowed to be children and have minimal chores, such as clean up their own messes.
moneyIsNot_funny
Posts: 1590
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:14 am

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by moneyIsNot_funny »

Chores are good for the kids. When I did some chores at younger ages, I learnt some discipline along with it. Heck, I even earned 15 paise once for shining the boots of the breadwinner. I put it in a 8% savings account proudly.

You develop a respect for the chore when you do it young. I enjoyed being in the kitchen those days; and I still do now. Inertia develops the longer you delay it. Ideally, in an ideal world, they should be able to do a small chore the day they are born.

Walking on the back or massaging or swotting the head is a chore too, you know. I am getting paid for it now, by their grandkids.

Dont listen to Reacher or Mayaji. They mislead and misguide you. Listen to The Original.
b2blr
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 11:22 pm

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by b2blr »

Great topic. MV.

I agree with Okonomi's comments. I don't think there is one right answer.

Growing up, I was the dreaming kind and didn't do any chores. The outcome? It was harder for me to live on my own; the adjustment period as a bachelor in the US was tough.

On the other hand, Mrs.B2blr is the kind that had to carry buckets of water up two flights of stairs when the home water pump was not working and so didn't get too many chances to spend time dreaming. No doubt she could have used some more time to smell the margosas. Or just read.

The point I am making is to think about what kind of personalities your kids have and balance it accordingly. If your kids get enough time to dream now, make a joint project out of doing the dishes. If not, give them a break.
M V
Posts: 5059
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:56 am

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by M V »

b2blr;393667Great topic. MV. [/quote]
but not many responses.. maybe title should have been "Chores for husband" : )
okonomi
Posts: 4381
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:18 pm

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by okonomi »

modus_vivendi;393671but not many responses.. maybe title should have been "Chores for husband" : )

That would get chores ideas to stop him from tweeting. I fell off my chair, when I heard last night (from Jon Stewart) that Weiner called Bill Clinton to apologize for his behavior.
I am thinking....Hillary didn't get the nomination because, if she had got elected, we'd have willie in the white house, no chores, and lots of interns.
b2blr
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 11:22 pm

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by b2blr »

okonomi;393675That would get chores ideas to stop him from tweeting. I fell off my chair, when I heard last night (from Jon Stewart) that Weiner called Bill Clinton to apologize for his behavior.
I am thinking....Hillary didn't get the nomination because, if she had got elected, we'd have willie in the white house, no chores, and lots of interns.


Dayum, Oko-san, I haven't seen last night's Daily Show yet. Good one. :-)
desi_mom
Posts: 217
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 10:34 pm

Chores or no chores for kids?

Post by desi_mom »

So that spouses do not have to open threads like this later.
http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/showthread.php/10854-why-husbands-dont-share-the-workload-of-domestic-chores

Unless the chores are consuming hours of their time, it should be ok. A kid can learn to cleanup after himself/herself. Nothing wrong with it. My daughters are expected to make their bed, clean up books and toys, and sometimes fold clothes when they have spare time. It does free up family time, and we can spend more quality time together. Otherwise, all my time at home would go in cleaning after everyone.
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