Emotional infidelity vs Physical infidelity

[YIndia]

Do you think they are the same? Which is worse? why/why not? Does gender play a role?

Excerpts from the links below:
He: ... In the end, the reason that physical cheating is so painful is that we can envision it. We can play back the rendezvous in our mind over and over and relive our partner seeking comfort or escape in the arms of another.

She: ...There's no emotional cheating equivalent to a one-night stand. It's generally quite a calculated and elaborate production to hide one..... it's that forgiving and forgetting isn't an option when your partner has emotionally cheated. Your partner doesn't want to be forgiven ? they want out.

General:... Are physical affairs bad? Of course they are. Anytime you break an agreement with your partner, you undermine the trust and safety in your relationship. As damaging as sexual infidelity can be, emotional fidelity is the hardest thing to build ? and it takes the biggest toll on a relationship when it is betrayed. If you are going to have what I called a "Naked Relationship," you need to protect the emotional integrity of your partnership above and beyond the physical aspects. Any two people can have sex in the heat of the moment. But the thing that everyone longs for is to have a deeply passionate emotional connection that can be sustained for a lifetime.

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a3155/emotional-physical-cheating/
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/gina-binder/emotional-infidelity-it-worse-sex

[Dicky_Bird]

Conscious Uncoupling is the latest buzzword!!!

[YIndia]

Conscious Uncoupling is the latest buzzword!!!

I had to google that.... Many older couples that I know are following that practice. They have grown kids, and they do not want to divorce, because it is not worth the hassle, and living together is not worth the hassle either... so conscious uncoupling it is.

Sadly, I also know other couples who have an "open" marriage. One person is in the armed forces, stationed in Russia - they just have long months of separation. Both of them ended up having emotional affairs initially, and after some lengthy discussions, decided to pursue other opportunities while still staying married. Not sure how it works, but they seem to have made peace with this arrangement. It is sad that duty towards the country requires all kinds of sacrifices.

[boca]

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a3155/emotional-physical-cheating/

From the above link:

[QUOTE]It is how we punish each other for the frustrations we have in our common lives. Sometimes we cheat to hurt our partners; other times we do so to hurt ourselves.
I think the above was written by the female author, as it sounds a bit feminine.

Men don't cheat to "punish" or to "hurt" anyone. They do so (mostly), because they get some pleasure out of it.

[QUOTE]We nurture other relationships to fill gaps or needs that remain unfulfilled with our partners and find substitutes for contributions to our lives that we wish they would meet, but unfortunately do not.
Huh? Another feminine sounding reasoning. Men just do it, not because there are some "gaps" in relationship or their needs go unfulfilled with partners. If I hear a man use such excuses, I would think that he is full of it. :)

[boca]

More from http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a3155/emotional-physical-cheating/
[QUOTE]If we are out, though, we are always watching other men and aware of who is paying attention to you. When we leave you alone at an event, we scan the room to take an inventory of the men who noticed you, speak to you, and come close to you. Does it seem a little silly? Possibly.
Seriously? Something wrong with that man, who watches over his partner. Are there men that are so insecure? I pity their partners.

[okonomi]

What is wrong in it? If 2 people are attracted to each other, get together to have fun and then get back to their old life, nothing disturbs their family...so would that be okay. Likewise anybody experienced office extramarital affarir in office?

That was the opening post from member KahloRivera's thread "One Night Stand"..... and I contributed...

When a USC or Greencard holder in India, receives any benefits from a "foreign" trust (tryst ?), well... that could .... trigger FBAR*.

*FBAR = fidelity breach, adultery report.

[okonomi]

In the "Infidelity in India" thread... there was this:

[QUOTE] Originally Posted by NaiveDesi
This is all true. So, scientifically, my wife has breached the contract against statistical probability of women doing this and I am also an odd one out for not having an affair. ......

The aspect of a "contract" was discussed in the other thread that had spawned this one.

Aren't most marriages, contracts made under duress ? And the legal systems in most countries allow the voiding of contracts made under duress.

Whether it is an unmarried person consenting to explorations with a partner (in an alleged violation of an implied contract made to parent/guardian) or a married person doing the same, one must look at the circumstances of the original contract, how the parties were convinced to agree to it, what was written, said, implied, and how the contract was serviced in the ensuing years of cohabitation since the contract came about.

Fidelity cannot be, when there is no cause for it. Even married persons are entitled to happiness; especially, when all the myths point to "living happily ever after" when a marriage happens.

[dbs]

....Seriously? Something wrong with that man, who watches over his partner. Are there men that are so insecure? I pity their partners.

If you love some one, let her go.
If she comes back, she is yours.

[rajradio]

If you love some one, let her go.
If she comes back, she is yours.

If she doesn't then what? Dbs ji

[VS007]

If she doesn't then what? Dbs ji

then she is not yours! :emcrook: