Divorced lady - India or USA? Opinions pleaseShould

manukarnika · Post by **manukarnika** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 1:51 pm

A friend of mine works in NY. She got divorced recently after many years of marriage. She has no kids. Should she return to India or stay in the US? She is USC. Which is better for a single lady?

okonomi · Post by **okonomi** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:01 pm

What does she want from the rest of her life ? List them.
And then figure out where she can get the most, of whatever they are, for the rest of her life.
Ain't that the same M.O.* for those who ought to be divorced, but aren't ?

*modus operandi

mobi · Post by **mobi** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 2:31 pm

Just because someone is divorced, one country doesn't automatically become preferable to another.

However, after such incident, often people want to forget the past. For that very purpose, it becomes easier if people move to some different place - which can be either different region of same country or a complete different country.

Getting divorce is no longer a taboo in India - but of course expect neightbors to still be nosy.

manukarnika · Post by **manukarnika** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:10 pm

mobi;592320Just because someone is divorced, one country doesn't automatically become preferable to another.

However, after such incident, often people want to forget the past. For that very purpose, it becomes easier if people move to some different place - which can be either different region of same country or a complete different country.

Getting divorce is no longer a taboo in India - but of course expect neightbors to still be nosy.

How about casual interactions with other human beings? She does not have much immediate family still in India. So may have to form new connections or rekindle old friendships. Are they easier to make in the US or in India? If moving to India, she would be moving to one of the big cities. I think her big concern is getting isolated from society.

pskum · Post by **pskum** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:49 pm

IMO
Stay in USA s the best option unless she has specific goal at hand (personal or service oriented) and possibly to meet future partner in India.
If a space/time is needed for soul search just to recompose in life then a carefully chosen spiritual trip may help.

thanks
kumar

direstraits88 · Post by **direstraits88** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 8:17 am

How old is she? Does she plan to re-marry?

If she's working in NY and financially independent, she's better off living in USA unless she's want to move to India for a "fresh" start.

manukarnika · Post by **manukarnika** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 8:34 am

direstraits88;592750How old is she? Does she plan to re-marry?

If she's working in NY and financially independent, she's better off living in USA unless she's want to move to India for a "fresh" start.

She is 48, active (goes hiking,cycling, etc.), financially independent, she is open to remarriage, but not looking for it particularly. Would you please elaborate why USA might be better for her?

direstraits88 · Post by **direstraits88** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 9:15 am

manukarnika;592752She is 48, active (goes hiking,cycling, etc.), financially independent, she is open to remarriage, but not looking for it particularly. Would you please elaborate why USA might be better for her?

For a lady nearing 50, India doesn't have much to offer. To move to India, she either needs to have immediate family there (like parents) or a set of close friends. Her active lifestyle will be hard to maintain in India. She has slim chances of forming any relationship or friends. People at 50 have college going kids and she has nothing in common with them.

If she's looking for a change and say adopt a child or go full time volunteering, there'll be purpose for the move.

Without a purpose and a plan, she'll be back in NY in 6 months.

Plan2010 · Post by **Plan2010** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 9:20 am

For a lady pursuing an active lifestyle USA is much better. It?ll be easier to join groups..easier to form connections. Such groups would exist in India too on a minor scale, but people may not be as open to a single lady. Most Indians I have seen make friends from workplace or kids friends moms. So the avenues are kind of limited in India. When you are going for group activities in India you should keep your safety as the first parameter. If you do not have any immediate family in India, I think it can be lonely. Apart from that I had heard from a relative in blr that people are reluctant to rent places out to single ladies.

Imissindia · Post by **Imissindia** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 1:38 pm

India is not the best country for older single active adults.
Most of India is young and people often tended to give up a lot of activities after they got married and had kids. That is slowly changing but the large proportion of the masses still follow the traditional mindset. Unless the lady in question is well off and wants to spend her time in elite circles, she is better off in the USA.

Now we have to look at another angle. Why is India the only other option?
Why not move within the US to say California for a change? Otherwise one has the option of trying out Canada or Europe or Latin America for a change. The world is full of fascinating places. India is one of them but it is not the only option. Of course it might be easier due to the ease of getting an OCI card and the fact that one know the place and the language and has some friends and relatives. All this has to carefully weighed in as if one wants a change then a new place might actually be better.