First of all I would like to thank the administrator and forum members to have created and contributed to such a wonderful tool for all of the potential R2Iers. I have been reading this forum only for past few months and have found it to be highly useful. Wish, I could have found it sooner. Thank You all!!!
Background
I was born and raised in Delhi, and completed schooling until the undergrad program in Physical Therapy in Delhi. Wife’s story is exactly same (met in college). We are both in late 30s. Two kids – age 9 and 5. All of us are USC/OCI.
Move to US
Our (me and wife) primary motive for moving to US was education and professional growth. At the time of our graduation from University of Delhi, there were not many postgraduate educational opportunities available in our profession, anywhere in India. For those of you who have not had much experience with a Physical Therapist; there is a fairly significant knowledge gap between the therapists graduating in India and those in the western world. Financial gains would have been an added benefit. So, finally in 1997 we moved to US as a newly married couple! However, neither of us saw spending our lives in US and wanted to return to India as soon as our professional/academic goals were met.
Life in US
As a young couple, we both enjoyed our life and professional US. Over the years we gained professionally, academically, and of course financially. Went through the usual NRI route of H1B-GC-USC/OCI. Bought the house and were quite settled in life here. Weekdays were spent busy with school and work, and weekends at potlucks and yard work.
R2I Dilemma
We were enjoying our suburban life in US and along the way, goal to R2I somehow got lost – until we had our first child in 2001. Like many of us in the similar situation, the hunger pangs to R2I were as sharp as those of my newborn son. Had our daughter in 2005 and continue to enjoy the American life with occasional debates on R2I, but nothing substantial. Wife always thinks with heart and had always been ready to R2I. However, as much as an over analyzer I am, couldn’t convince myself to take the plunge. Then the unthinkable happened. Early 2007, my Dad had to undergo an unexpected cardiac bypass surgery. My worst fear came true and he couldn’t make it through….. And I couldn’t make it back home in time to say the final goodbye.
R2I Decision
Needless to say, but life made my R2I decision. There were additional logistical reasons that were also considered during discussions with wife.
1. Usual: There are the reasons that all of us have gone through – proximity to family in India, sense of belonging in India, raising my children in the environment I grew up in, food etc. I don’t see the need to elaborate. All of us have experienced it. I will go over some personal specific reasons.
2. Mechanical life in US: Although life in US in enjoyable and fulfilling; it has become extremely mechanical, especially after having kids. Since both wife and I work, weekly schedules have become logistical nightmares as the kids are growing. Even though my wife became part time before our daughter’s birth, it seems there is never enough time to get everything done. Every week we would juggle between the work, house work (Indian cooking), kids’ school/extracurricular activities. I hate the fact that even play dates for kids have to be scheduled and put on a calendar. Relaxation meant nothing more than weekend’s potluck with adults singing old hindi songs on karaoke and kids playing their video games.
3. Michigan weather: Michigan is a beautiful state to live with four seasons, provided one enjoys all four seasons. Having raised in Delhi, I never got used to MI winter. With each year, snow and cold weather keeps getting intolerable. Weather has not been good to kids’ health also. Someone is sick in my house at least once each month (that seems to double during the cold weather). This is despite wife being a cleaning freak and doing everything to ensure healthy diet for everone. Definitely loved the MI summer and going to the lakes with kids (will miss that).
4. Work: Both wife and I made quite a few academic/professional achievements. We did this by shear hard work and spending lot money on our education. Professionally, as Physical Therapists, neither of us have much to fear about declining US economy. But I feel there is lot more to do in India then in US. I am not sure how everyone feels, but in my opinion (no offense to anyone), for every good physician, IT worker, or marketing executive here in US, there is an equally (perhaps more) competent professional in India. Same cannot be said about Physical Therapy. Physical therapy practice in India lags way behind US. I feel I owe it to my profession and to the birth country that laid the foundations stones for my success here in US. I spent more money on a single university semester here in US than my parents probably did in 16 years (school + college) of my Indian education.
5. Declining work/social ethics in US: My specialty is orthopedic rehabilitation and treat patients with back/neck pain, sport injuries etc. Over the years I have seen numerous people successfully skimming the social security system to their benefit. Really hate it when I get up at 4:00 AM each day, drop the kids at school/day care and work 10 hour days, pay my taxes, so that some 30 year old on disability can get out of their lazy boy chair and walk to his/her mailbox and get disability check. Recession has only made the situation worse with many fold increase in such fake claims.
6. US lifestyle and health: Perhaps some of the forum members may disagree with me on this, but in my opinion, combination of hectic lifestyle and flood of genetically modified food in supermarket results in overall lower quality of life in US than that in India. I see teen agers and people in their 20s and 30s on an average of 5-10 pills or more. There has been an exponential rise in common and rare forms of cancers here in US. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I feel a lot has to do with corporation manufactured food that fills the isles of supermarkets. I recommend watching “Future of Food” or “Food Inc.” documentaries. I feel that excessive pesticides and dirt can be washed off from Indian farm produce, but how do you clean a genetically modified food/meat product. Someone said it truly – “you are what you eat”. From what I hear, my friends and family in Delhi lead comparatively healthier life, even with the heat, pollution, and dengue mosquito.
7. US economic outlook: This has been discussed in another thread (USA Bankruptcy). Although, I do not feel that sky is going to fall on US economy, but I do think that the best years of US is behind her. The current federal deficit stands at $14 trillion on the paper and close to $100 trillion when all the future liabilities from entitlements and defense are accounted for. Politicians on either side of isle are too busy looking out for next election instead of next generation of citizens. Optimists are hoping that US economic growth will bounce back and deficit will be much more manageable in future. However, evidence points otherwise. Recent job growth and economic expansion has primarily come from combination of low rung jobs (that can’t be outsourced) and high end/professional jobs. Middle class (primary driver of any economy) job growth has been miniscule. I believe – US will remain a dominant economic power in my lifetime, but not sure about the future of kids.
8. Personal: I come from a big and somewhat joint family. It feels very lonely here, even with desi friends. Everyone is busy in their lives. I see this loneliness worsening once the kids leave for college and move on with their lives. Don’t want to get old here and die in a nursing home.
Bottom line
Any one of us can refute majority of US cons discussed above or cite different cons of life in India. The bottom line is that there is no perfect country, spouse, parent, or child. Each country has its own pros and cons. One has to decide what pros and cons they are willing to live with. I am fully aware of challenges of life in India and am willing to accept them. Someone rightly said in this forum – “don’t think India will become US, just because we (NRIs) have moved back.” I plan to enjoy India for what she is and will not try to find US in her. This past January, I have completed about 14 years in US with its pros and cons. US is a great nation and I am very thankful to what I gained and learned here – professionalism, work ethics, hard work etc. But it’s time to return home – “home is where the heart is”.
R2I is targeted for June, 2011, will post the preparation experience shortly.
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
very nice to read and immensely articulated.
oh boy, you now instilling fear into me to think about my premature R2I. It never crossed my mind even after being a silent member of this forum for past few years
oh boy, you now instilling fear into me to think about my premature R2I. It never crossed my mind even after being a silent member of this forum for past few years
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bigdreamer
- Posts: 1079
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:15 am
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
Very well articulated. If I have to write reasoning for my r2i, it would match exactly as yours - only that I couldn't have said it any way better than how you'd put it.
Good luck with your move!
Good luck with your move!
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
My husband's and my situation is exactly the same. Both of us are in our mid-30's ..2 kids..demanding schedules with virtually non-existent down time. We are moving to India in April to try it out.. but we also feel that both of us will have better professional prospects given our business management backgrounds. We will soon find out! :)
Good luck with your moveQ
Good luck with your moveQ
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Old-Spice2
- Posts: 1898
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:38 pm
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
denali;378141My husband's and my situation is exactly the same. Both of us are in our mid-30's ..2 kids..demanding schedules with virtually non-existent down time. We are moving to India in April to try it out.. but we also feel that both of us will have better professional prospects given our business management backgrounds. We will soon find out! :)
Good luck with your moveQ
For people with 2 kids and both spouse working - do not think life will be less hectic in India, especially in big cities. You need one of the following to make life easier:
- parents, in-laws or some relatives living nearby/with you,
- one of the spouse preferably the lady has short commute or work from home facility or convert to SAHM.
If you do not have these luxuries, your life in US will be better. At least you will save more money after all the struggle.
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HarryPotter
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 7:31 am
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
Apte -
All the best for your R2I. We are also moving back to Bangalore in June 2011.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Cheers
All the best for your R2I. We are also moving back to Bangalore in June 2011.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Cheers
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
I agree with what you have written...I guess all of us who have moved back ....went through the same thought process....however professionally it would be very difficult for you in India. I dont want to discourage you but now a days lots of phyotherapist are available...though I agree with you...not much knowledge . Some how people dont care about quality.........if you are frustated with practice style in US , you would be miserable here.
Regarding food and environment....it is much better in US than India. genetically modified food is here too....every spice is mixed with impurities....even the milk is not spared. High quantities of oxytocin is present in milk.....
Having said that....life here rocks if you are moving for right reasons.........you would have to ignore lot of things including the reasons you have given for your move.....beleive me I miss those potlucks and those quiet time and fun time with friends.
Don?t want to get old here and die in a nursing home." a very common fealing all of us get when in US. But I feel atleast you have nursing homes to die in US rather than being killed by one of your servants!!! Now a days india too in not a safe place for elderly...We are seeing that and I think atleast in US things are in place for old age...In India its not.
Regarding food and environment....it is much better in US than India. genetically modified food is here too....every spice is mixed with impurities....even the milk is not spared. High quantities of oxytocin is present in milk.....
Having said that....life here rocks if you are moving for right reasons.........you would have to ignore lot of things including the reasons you have given for your move.....beleive me I miss those potlucks and those quiet time and fun time with friends.
Don?t want to get old here and die in a nursing home." a very common fealing all of us get when in US. But I feel atleast you have nursing homes to die in US rather than being killed by one of your servants!!! Now a days india too in not a safe place for elderly...We are seeing that and I think atleast in US things are in place for old age...In India its not.
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
What you term as 'usual' perhaps is the strongest and most compelling reasoning to go back. Everything else can be debated depending on what kind of day one has had. I have heard HORROR stories about work culture and work ethic in India, so that is one red flag you will have to be well prepared to deal with.
As for health and environment, I think you have a point. The instances of cancer we see in the US are more common then in India. Lifestyle and diet i think have a lot to do with it. That being said the filth, sewers the monsoons can also be quite a havoc in India, so another red flag to keep in mind.
The US economic outlook is a genuine worry. The general sentiment is that the US has gone through several recessions in its history only to bounce back strong. But I am not so sure because the fundamentals in the global economy have changed.
Good luck with your R2I.
R2I Decision
Needless to say, but life made my R2I decision. There were additional logistical reasons that were also considered during discussions with wife.
1. Usual: There are the reasons that all of us have gone through ? proximity to family in India, sense of belonging in India, raising my children in the environment I grew up in, food etc. I don?t see the need to elaborate. All of us have experienced it. I will go over some personal specific reasons.
2. Mechanical life in US: Although life in US in enjoyable and fulfilling; it has become extremely mechanical, especially after having kids. Since both wife and I work, weekly schedules have become logistical nightmares as the kids are growing. Even though my wife became part time before our daughter?s birth, it seems there is never enough time to get everything done. Every week we would juggle between the work, house work (Indian cooking), kids? school/extracurricular activities. I hate the fact that even play dates for kids have to be scheduled and put on a calendar. Relaxation meant nothing more than weekend?s potluck with adults singing old hindi songs on karaoke and kids playing their video games.
3. Michigan weather: Michigan is a beautiful state to live with four seasons, provided one enjoys all four seasons. Having raised in Delhi, I never got used to MI winter. With each year, snow and cold weather keeps getting intolerable. Weather has not been good to kids? health also. Someone is sick in my house at least once each month (that seems to double during the cold weather). This is despite wife being a cleaning freak and doing everything to ensure healthy diet for everone. Definitely loved the MI summer and going to the lakes with kids (will miss that).
4. Work: Both wife and I made quite a few academic/professional achievements. We did this by shear hard work and spending lot money on our education. Professionally, as Physical Therapists, neither of us have much to fear about declining US economy. But I feel there is lot more to do in India then in US. I am not sure how everyone feels, but in my opinion (no offense to anyone), for every good physician, IT worker, or marketing executive here in US, there is an equally (perhaps more) competent professional in India. Same cannot be said about Physical Therapy. Physical therapy practice in India lags way behind US. I feel I owe it to my profession and to the birth country that laid the foundations stones for my success here in US. I spent more money on a single university semester here in US than my parents probably did in 16 years (school + college) of my Indian education.
5. Declining work/social ethics in US: My specialty is orthopedic rehabilitation and treat patients with back/neck pain, sport injuries etc. Over the years I have seen numerous people successfully skimming the social security system to their benefit. Really hate it when I get up at 4:00 AM each day, drop the kids at school/day care and work 10 hour days, pay my taxes, so that some 30 year old on disability can get out of their lazy boy chair and walk to his/her mailbox and get disability check. Recession has only made the situation worse with many fold increase in such fake claims.
6. US lifestyle and health: Perhaps some of the forum members may disagree with me on this, but in my opinion, combination of hectic lifestyle and flood of genetically modified food in supermarket results in overall lower quality of life in US than that in India. I see teen agers and people in their 20s and 30s on an average of 5-10 pills or more. There has been an exponential rise in common and rare forms of cancers here in US. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I feel a lot has to do with corporation manufactured food that fills the isles of supermarkets. I recommend watching ?Future of Food? or ?Food Inc.? documentaries. I feel that excessive pesticides and dirt can be washed off from Indian farm produce, but how do you clean a genetically modified food/meat product. Someone said it truly ? ?you are what you eat?. From what I hear, my friends and family in Delhi lead comparatively healthier life, even with the heat, pollution, and dengue mosquito.
7. US economic outlook: This has been discussed in another thread (USA Bankruptcy). Although, I do not feel that sky is going to fall on US economy, but I do think that the best years of US is behind her. The current federal deficit stands at $14 trillion on the paper and close to $100 trillion when all the future liabilities from entitlements and defense are accounted for. Politicians on either side of isle are too busy looking out for next election instead of next generation of citizens. Optimists are hoping that US economic growth will bounce back and deficit will be much more manageable in future. However, evidence points otherwise. Recent job growth and economic expansion has primarily come from combination of low rung jobs (that can?t be outsourced) and high end/professional jobs. Middle class (primary driver of any economy) job growth has been miniscule. I believe ? US will remain a dominant economic power in my lifetime, but not sure about the future of kids.
8. Personal: I come from a big and somewhat joint family. It feels very lonely here, even with desi friends. Everyone is busy in their lives. I see this loneliness worsening once the kids leave for college and move on with their lives. Don?t want to get old here and die in a nursing home.
Bottom line
Any one of us can refute majority of US cons discussed above or cite different cons of life in India. The bottom line is that there is no perfect country, spouse, parent, or child. Each country has its own pros and cons. One has to decide what pros and cons they are willing to live with. I am fully aware of challenges of life in India and am willing to accept them. Someone rightly said in this forum ? ?don?t think India will become US, just because we (NRIs) have moved back.? I plan to enjoy India for what she is and will not try to find US in her. This past January, I have completed about 14 years in US with its pros and cons. US is a great nation and I am very thankful to what I gained and learned here ? professionalism, work ethics, hard work etc. But it?s time to return home ? ?home is where the heart is?.
R2I is targeted for June, 2011, will post the preparation experience shortly.
As for health and environment, I think you have a point. The instances of cancer we see in the US are more common then in India. Lifestyle and diet i think have a lot to do with it. That being said the filth, sewers the monsoons can also be quite a havoc in India, so another red flag to keep in mind.
The US economic outlook is a genuine worry. The general sentiment is that the US has gone through several recessions in its history only to bounce back strong. But I am not so sure because the fundamentals in the global economy have changed.
Good luck with your R2I.
R2I Decision
Needless to say, but life made my R2I decision. There were additional logistical reasons that were also considered during discussions with wife.
1. Usual: There are the reasons that all of us have gone through ? proximity to family in India, sense of belonging in India, raising my children in the environment I grew up in, food etc. I don?t see the need to elaborate. All of us have experienced it. I will go over some personal specific reasons.
2. Mechanical life in US: Although life in US in enjoyable and fulfilling; it has become extremely mechanical, especially after having kids. Since both wife and I work, weekly schedules have become logistical nightmares as the kids are growing. Even though my wife became part time before our daughter?s birth, it seems there is never enough time to get everything done. Every week we would juggle between the work, house work (Indian cooking), kids? school/extracurricular activities. I hate the fact that even play dates for kids have to be scheduled and put on a calendar. Relaxation meant nothing more than weekend?s potluck with adults singing old hindi songs on karaoke and kids playing their video games.
3. Michigan weather: Michigan is a beautiful state to live with four seasons, provided one enjoys all four seasons. Having raised in Delhi, I never got used to MI winter. With each year, snow and cold weather keeps getting intolerable. Weather has not been good to kids? health also. Someone is sick in my house at least once each month (that seems to double during the cold weather). This is despite wife being a cleaning freak and doing everything to ensure healthy diet for everone. Definitely loved the MI summer and going to the lakes with kids (will miss that).
4. Work: Both wife and I made quite a few academic/professional achievements. We did this by shear hard work and spending lot money on our education. Professionally, as Physical Therapists, neither of us have much to fear about declining US economy. But I feel there is lot more to do in India then in US. I am not sure how everyone feels, but in my opinion (no offense to anyone), for every good physician, IT worker, or marketing executive here in US, there is an equally (perhaps more) competent professional in India. Same cannot be said about Physical Therapy. Physical therapy practice in India lags way behind US. I feel I owe it to my profession and to the birth country that laid the foundations stones for my success here in US. I spent more money on a single university semester here in US than my parents probably did in 16 years (school + college) of my Indian education.
5. Declining work/social ethics in US: My specialty is orthopedic rehabilitation and treat patients with back/neck pain, sport injuries etc. Over the years I have seen numerous people successfully skimming the social security system to their benefit. Really hate it when I get up at 4:00 AM each day, drop the kids at school/day care and work 10 hour days, pay my taxes, so that some 30 year old on disability can get out of their lazy boy chair and walk to his/her mailbox and get disability check. Recession has only made the situation worse with many fold increase in such fake claims.
6. US lifestyle and health: Perhaps some of the forum members may disagree with me on this, but in my opinion, combination of hectic lifestyle and flood of genetically modified food in supermarket results in overall lower quality of life in US than that in India. I see teen agers and people in their 20s and 30s on an average of 5-10 pills or more. There has been an exponential rise in common and rare forms of cancers here in US. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I feel a lot has to do with corporation manufactured food that fills the isles of supermarkets. I recommend watching ?Future of Food? or ?Food Inc.? documentaries. I feel that excessive pesticides and dirt can be washed off from Indian farm produce, but how do you clean a genetically modified food/meat product. Someone said it truly ? ?you are what you eat?. From what I hear, my friends and family in Delhi lead comparatively healthier life, even with the heat, pollution, and dengue mosquito.
7. US economic outlook: This has been discussed in another thread (USA Bankruptcy). Although, I do not feel that sky is going to fall on US economy, but I do think that the best years of US is behind her. The current federal deficit stands at $14 trillion on the paper and close to $100 trillion when all the future liabilities from entitlements and defense are accounted for. Politicians on either side of isle are too busy looking out for next election instead of next generation of citizens. Optimists are hoping that US economic growth will bounce back and deficit will be much more manageable in future. However, evidence points otherwise. Recent job growth and economic expansion has primarily come from combination of low rung jobs (that can?t be outsourced) and high end/professional jobs. Middle class (primary driver of any economy) job growth has been miniscule. I believe ? US will remain a dominant economic power in my lifetime, but not sure about the future of kids.
8. Personal: I come from a big and somewhat joint family. It feels very lonely here, even with desi friends. Everyone is busy in their lives. I see this loneliness worsening once the kids leave for college and move on with their lives. Don?t want to get old here and die in a nursing home.
Bottom line
Any one of us can refute majority of US cons discussed above or cite different cons of life in India. The bottom line is that there is no perfect country, spouse, parent, or child. Each country has its own pros and cons. One has to decide what pros and cons they are willing to live with. I am fully aware of challenges of life in India and am willing to accept them. Someone rightly said in this forum ? ?don?t think India will become US, just because we (NRIs) have moved back.? I plan to enjoy India for what she is and will not try to find US in her. This past January, I have completed about 14 years in US with its pros and cons. US is a great nation and I am very thankful to what I gained and learned here ? professionalism, work ethics, hard work etc. But it?s time to return home ? ?home is where the heart is?.
R2I is targeted for June, 2011, will post the preparation experience shortly.
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
wow! Great writeup. Hats off.
I am sure you will have a fun-filled, full-filled R2I.
I am sure you will have a fun-filled, full-filled R2I.
My story thus far.....R2I in motion
Excellent post. I agree with all your points.
We miss our family. We were not there at good time and bad time. I still have the guilt of not being
present when my father was in bed for a year and was not there to say goodbye to him.
Main biggest worry is I am loosing connections in India with relatives. Only very close relatives we
are still connected.
Well said about the food about washing of dust on food in India.
I have been thinking of R2I. I never had a plan to settle in US. Now for me R2I is more difficult then
getting here. Biggest hurdle for me is my wife.
We miss our family. We were not there at good time and bad time. I still have the guilt of not being
present when my father was in bed for a year and was not there to say goodbye to him.
Main biggest worry is I am loosing connections in India with relatives. Only very close relatives we
are still connected.
Well said about the food about washing of dust on food in India.
I have been thinking of R2I. I never had a plan to settle in US. Now for me R2I is more difficult then
getting here. Biggest hurdle for me is my wife.