My R2I (Bangalore) Diary - R2IKyon
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:27 pm
Hi all, I have been following R2Iclub since 2005. Thanks to RRK,admins, and all members for their valuable input.
Back ground:
I am 31 years old, spouse 31 years. No kids. I am from south, spouse from east India (hmm not sure if that’s geographically very accurate, doesn’t matter anyways). Met in US. Both of us - MS ->H1 and then R2Ied. Stay in US 8 years.
Pre-R2I
Reason for R2I- Opportunity and sense of belonging.
Dilemma Before R2I – Whether it is the right time to R2I. Should we get GC and then citizenship? Should we have kids in US? (Many of my friends asked me….”don’t you want to give your kids a chance by giving birth to them in US?” One of my friends came to US after his wife got pregnant so that the kid could get citizenship)
Doubts before R2I – Will we able to adjust to the work culture? Will we be spending hours at office with out having personal life? Will we be able to take the whole package India has to offer with out thinking about R2A?
Emotional Stuff/thoughts before R2I- Was never able to relate to some things in US. At office lunches when people used to talk about Tolkein, movies like star wars/Clerks, NFL, their childhood memories associated with sand box behind their homes, etc. I used to feel left out. I had some knowledge about them but never could feel the same way as Americans did. When Oprah Winfrey in her show said “There is probably a generation born when parents made love listening to Nat King Cole” the feeling and nostalgia associated with that was something I was and will never be able to understand. It was the same when it came to community I lived in US, the paper I read, the shows I watched on TV; unable to relate. With culture comes witty humor. In India, I used to enjoy being in a group able to crack and understand jokes. I started missing this in US.
All these simple things drove me towards R2I
Post R2I
Did I get sense of belonging? ----- Yes and I am happy in that aspect.
Were we able to tackle our doubts effectively? ------- NO. My spouse is seeing horrible work culture, is in non IT. India as a whole left us thinking about R2A. Its not roads,pollution or population that are problems for us. It is attitude of people. Colleagues at work, maid at home, customer service people, auto drivers etc. I had seen this attitude problems even in US when there were lot of desis in a company I worked. With out going into details, I painfully realized even I have bit of that attitude. Its just that in US I never had to show such attitude.
Was the timing of R2I right?– From financial point of view it was not the right time. We should have saved more money to give us flexibility with kind of job we want to do after R2I. But otherwise the timing was right since we came back when both our parents are relatively physically fit. All our relatives have not yet forgotten us. I am still in touch with couple of my friends here in India and we meet often. (Rest of them i.e. about 30 of them are in US!!!)
Should we have waited for GC/citizenship? --- No regrets for not waiting.
Should we had waited to have kids in US? --- For me the only reason why I would have wanted my kids to be born in US, was for opportunities. Instead of trying to guess how my kids will survive the competition in India, I researched on avenues if my kid turned out to be an average performer. I looked for such average kids in my relatives’ circle and realized that there are ways to make money with out being an engineer and doctor. Will these avenues remain even after 15 years in India? I think that it is a futile effort to plan for 15 years ahead of time. So no regrets again and time will make things clearer.
Overall lessons learnt:
All other stuff like shipping, job search etc are well addressed by other members.
I hope to add to this R2I dairy till I attain stable state i.e. either decide on LIA for ever or if I R2A, I will contribute till 2-3 months after I R2A.
Thx
Back ground:
I am 31 years old, spouse 31 years. No kids. I am from south, spouse from east India (hmm not sure if that’s geographically very accurate, doesn’t matter anyways). Met in US. Both of us - MS ->H1 and then R2Ied. Stay in US 8 years.
Pre-R2I
Reason for R2I- Opportunity and sense of belonging.
Dilemma Before R2I – Whether it is the right time to R2I. Should we get GC and then citizenship? Should we have kids in US? (Many of my friends asked me….”don’t you want to give your kids a chance by giving birth to them in US?” One of my friends came to US after his wife got pregnant so that the kid could get citizenship)
Doubts before R2I – Will we able to adjust to the work culture? Will we be spending hours at office with out having personal life? Will we be able to take the whole package India has to offer with out thinking about R2A?
Emotional Stuff/thoughts before R2I- Was never able to relate to some things in US. At office lunches when people used to talk about Tolkein, movies like star wars/Clerks, NFL, their childhood memories associated with sand box behind their homes, etc. I used to feel left out. I had some knowledge about them but never could feel the same way as Americans did. When Oprah Winfrey in her show said “There is probably a generation born when parents made love listening to Nat King Cole” the feeling and nostalgia associated with that was something I was and will never be able to understand. It was the same when it came to community I lived in US, the paper I read, the shows I watched on TV; unable to relate. With culture comes witty humor. In India, I used to enjoy being in a group able to crack and understand jokes. I started missing this in US.
All these simple things drove me towards R2I
Post R2I
Did I get sense of belonging? ----- Yes and I am happy in that aspect.
Were we able to tackle our doubts effectively? ------- NO. My spouse is seeing horrible work culture, is in non IT. India as a whole left us thinking about R2A. Its not roads,pollution or population that are problems for us. It is attitude of people. Colleagues at work, maid at home, customer service people, auto drivers etc. I had seen this attitude problems even in US when there were lot of desis in a company I worked. With out going into details, I painfully realized even I have bit of that attitude. Its just that in US I never had to show such attitude.
Was the timing of R2I right?– From financial point of view it was not the right time. We should have saved more money to give us flexibility with kind of job we want to do after R2I. But otherwise the timing was right since we came back when both our parents are relatively physically fit. All our relatives have not yet forgotten us. I am still in touch with couple of my friends here in India and we meet often. (Rest of them i.e. about 30 of them are in US!!!)
Should we have waited for GC/citizenship? --- No regrets for not waiting.
Should we had waited to have kids in US? --- For me the only reason why I would have wanted my kids to be born in US, was for opportunities. Instead of trying to guess how my kids will survive the competition in India, I researched on avenues if my kid turned out to be an average performer. I looked for such average kids in my relatives’ circle and realized that there are ways to make money with out being an engineer and doctor. Will these avenues remain even after 15 years in India? I think that it is a futile effort to plan for 15 years ahead of time. So no regrets again and time will make things clearer.
Overall lessons learnt:
For an average performer R2Ing and being gainfully employed is tough
Do not use R2Iclub.com or any other forum for that matter for taking decisions based on emotions. Initially I have misused R2Iclub. Later I used it only to gather practical information.
Material comforts is not an issue but people in India are the problem
Never generalize.What is good for one need not be good for me and vice versa.
All other stuff like shipping, job search etc are well addressed by other members.
I hope to add to this R2I dairy till I attain stable state i.e. either decide on LIA for ever or if I R2A, I will contribute till 2-3 months after I R2A.
Thx