Returning alone while family in US

kmoorthy · Post by **kmoorthy** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 11:20 am

Hi,

First of all, I am very thankful to all the members of this forum for such a great discussion. I have learnt a lot from reading this forum.

A little bit about my background, (just in case if someone is in a similar situation): Lived in TX (Arlington, Irving and Lewisville) for the last 13 years. Studied in UTA and UTD and worked for 7 years (not including intern/coops) with a Defense subcontractor (100% non-IT) in the area of automation and control systems. Got an offer in Navi Mumbai in controls and automation field. Moving on May 5th, 2007. First child is 18 months old and wife is pregnant with 2nd child and we decided that wife will stay in the US till the delivery, scheduled in Nov 2007 (not for the new kiddo's citizenship reasons, but wife is comfortable with the doc and the medical facilities).

Has anyone been through a similar situation? If so, how did you manage? How is New Mumbai? Never lived there. Spend my childhoold in UP and moved to Chennai... lived there for 13 years before moving to the US.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Need advice...Thanks.

KM

VWbuggy78 · Post by **VWbuggy78** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:36 pm

Happiness is a warm and loving family - in another city. That was a quote from Bob Hope. That would apply if you lived in NYC, lots of money and your kids were in their teens and lived far from you (which is New Jersey as far as Bob Hope was concerned).

IMO, you will sorely miss your 18month old and the first few months of the new ones. It is a big sacrifice.

kmoorthy · Post by **kmoorthy** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:52 am

I agree...i dont have a GC and I am not a USC either. I was on H1b. Do you have any suggestions on what I should do to visit the family? Do I apply for H4 or tourist visa?

Thanks

Tweedledee · Post by **Tweedledee** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 12:49 pm

I would not do this if I were you. you can always get another job. but not being with the family at an important event such as the birth of your child is something you'll always regret. and what is so bad about medical facilities in india. presumably, your wife hasnt heard of the horror stories of the US healthcare system. she should. plus, you r2iing to a unknown city does increase the chances of a failed r2i.

Old-Spice2 · Post by **Old-Spice2** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:19 pm

How will your wife handle the situation in US? Does she have anyone to support? Medical facilities are good in India. You just need to make the right choice which is applicable in US too.

Shri999 · Post by **Shri999** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:21 pm

OP,

Staying away from family with such a important moment in life is not advisable. Decision making process becomes very difficult when you are 8000 miles away and only talk or chat. I am not in same situation as you but I am stuck in US selling our house and my wife and son is in India. My suggestion is whatever you do try to stay together.

HighTorque · Post by **HighTorque** » Sun Apr 29, 2007 4:28 am

kmoorthy;21864
Hi,
Has anyone been through a similar situation? If so, how did you manage? How is New Mumbai? Never lived there. Spend my childhoold in UP and moved to Chennai... lived there for 13 years before moving to the US.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Need advice...Thanks.

KM

India has good medical facilities too if child's citizenship is not a criteria for you. But then it is all about one's comfort level.

As far as NM is concerned I have heard good things from a relative who works for a company there. If you live in places like khargar or other such upcoming neighbourhoods you will find good schools and decent infrastructure for indian standards. Also Mumbai is always a driving distance for the weekends if you are missing the hustle-bustle and great roadside food. Hindi and english should do it in most places.

Bobus · Post by **Bobus** » Sun Apr 29, 2007 5:59 am

Several members have advised against staying away from family at a crucial time. I agree.

In addition, choosing to have one child born in US (and thus get USC - I assume the first child was born in US) and another in India (thus without USC, since neither parent is USC) would bother me, though I see a few families choosing so. I would not rely on the USC sibling being able to help the non-USC sibling come to the US, should need or desire arise, at a later stage.

So my suggestion would be to stay in the US until a few months after new baby's arrival. One can always get another job in India later.

Jaggudada · Post by **Jaggudada** » Sun Apr 29, 2007 7:09 am

Kmmorthy,

Sent you a PM, please check your PM.

kmoorthy · Post by **kmoorthy** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:14 am

Hi Everyone,

Thanks so much for the prompt responses and suggestions. I totally understand everyone's thoughts/comments and feel terrible about leaving family, Also, I didnt mention in my post that I am hoping to visit in August and then definitely during Oct/Nov timeframe as we get closer to the delivery time. My in-laws will be here until then. After the delivery we will all return together.

The reasons for leaving family behind at this point are:

1) Six months will give me enough time to explore Navi Mumbai and hopefully get used to the city, lifestyle etc. Hopefully I will be able to find an own apt as well, instead of renting out one (like I am doing now)

2) I have an offer from L&T and they want me to join by May 9th, which is why I have to leave on May 5th.

3) Finally, from my experience, I have found out that employers prefer to meet with prospective employees before they extend a job offer. Although I have had several interviews over phone while I was here, they prefer to meet in person and then offer the job.

Consulting with the rest my family and my wife's family, we felt that this was the best option that we have.

Any comments? Am I being stupid?

Thanks again for taking time and discussing your viewpoints.