_R2I dilemma:cooldude

CoolDude · Post by **CoolDude** » Mon May 21, 2007 8:00 am

Hi,
I came to the US for my MS in 2006 and had planned to go back to India after finishing it to start something of my own.I have worked in India for close to 4 years with top IT companies before coming to the US.While most of my friends/colleagues in India invested in homes/real estate/ etc , I decided to invest my savings in a Masters degree in the US (IT Management).I had the perspective that higher education would make my future more stable and also give me global exposure.

I would be finishing my MS by this year-end and am in a dilemma for the next course of action.I am really passionate about starting something of my own in India with the age factor in my favour (am 27), but the lure of $$ and going back without any savings gives me a guilty feeling. The spiralling real estate prices in india is another hurdle for me to decide something.

I was never comfortable here and loved my life in India so much. I dont want to sound really home-sick , but I believe , I would be more productive in a place where I am comfortable and enjoy working.
I would be getting married next year and have to decide something soon.If I decide to stay here, I would have to get my wife here and work for 2-3 years after which I would definitely R2I.The other choice is to work here till mid-next-year , head back , get married and start something of my own in India.

I have read almost all the R2I experiences and feel that happiness is more important than $$, but the practical side of my mind says otherwise.
Please advise.

srinpo · Post by **srinpo** » Mon May 21, 2007 9:40 am

CoolDude;25545
I would be getting married next year and have to decide something soon.If I decide to stay here, I would have to get my wife here and work for 2-3 years after which I would definitely R2I.[/quote]

Sometimes I feel like a wise man, whose wisdom is getting wasted. So you are sure your wife will be just a dummy, and after that 2-3 years will gladly like Seetha did to Rama, come with you to India. Or you will be capable of forcing her to come and wont be affected by the modern day outlook. So what effort are you planning to look for such a bride. If going for arranged marraige, you will meet a day before and ask are you willing to come to India after 2-3 years, and she said shyly 'whatever you say so', so she will come. Or if you are on your own, you will choose someone who has done a MS and a PhD and is on board to her career to become next Vice President for the XYZ Company and you can talk her into coming to India, eventhough she hasnt said so herself.
The above points are meant as sarcasm, but I see tons of people I know doing exactly the same thing.(I have examples of all these sarcasm happenning for real). The people I am talking about are extremely sharp and some of the brilliant folks around. But somehow they can just fine tune their mind in these. Or else they could just be plain lieing also.
Just common sense and also various mails in these forums, will indicate that for women US is more a better place and the chances lesser she will likely to return.
I wont make a advice, but be aware about 2 kind of decisions. 1. Explicit & other implicit. For eg. there are people I know of high calibre who have been making decision to encourage the child in all US based things. Good and no problem with that. This is for 4 -5 yrs and children are already 10-12 yrs old. Then they have made a implicit decision to stay in US, but wont like to say so. That's OK but they are only fooling themselves.
Similarly it is OK to get married and plan to R2I, but you have to be explictly aware of the implicit decisons. Make a honest judgement is there a good probabilty that this person can R2I (irrespective of what she actually says). Even then you can look only at probability. Because I know in both the ends of spectrum (at one a very old style house-wife who will cry to go alone for 3 hours to somewhere, and at other end hyper active career oriented looking to be next General manager types), who cant imagine R2I'ing. How you find such a person is completely out of this topic and I dont have suggestion there.
But making plans in vaccum of this (the person who you are going to marry) is too plain naive and cant be sincere.

realentity · Post by **realentity** » Mon May 21, 2007 4:08 pm

I understand the guilt part. Was in the same shoes few years back until I invested in a house in India. Now that the house has appreciated well and almost fully paid off, the guilt has vanished. I would suggest getting a job on OPT (negotiate at least $60K since you have experience) and then immediately buy a house in India. Work really hard towards paying off that house and when thats done you can proudly R2I.

sohu · Post by **sohu** » Mon May 21, 2007 9:52 pm

I would advice to work in US for few years. Dont think that if you stay in US it would be only for $$. Yes the money is more but if you work here for few years then you will get different work experience, will be able to travel few cities/countries and other benefits. IMO you should take advantage of better overall exposure and experience that US offers - at least for couple of years.

sohu · Post by **sohu** » Mon May 21, 2007 9:57 pm

Regarding your comment about missing the boat of Indian real-estate appreciation, you can buy real estate in India even if you are working in US. I believe you can also get loan in India for real estate. You dont have to be physically in India to ride the real estate wave.

Desi_by_Nature · Post by **Desi_by_Nature** » Mon May 21, 2007 11:51 pm

It sounds like you're already inclined to go back. If that is so then I'd advise you to R2I ASAP.

I have been working in the US for 5 years after finishing my M.S. Sometimes I feel that I'd have been better of R2Iing when I was in a situation like yours. Here are my reasons:

1. Lack of career growth here.
2. The frustrating game of H1-B, GC etc. that takes several years. Once you get into this it's hard to get out and explore other job opportunities until you get your GC.
3. Wife could not work because of H4 restrictions thus wasting many productive years of her life.

Don't worry about the lack of savings. Even in the US it will take you many years before you have any substantial savings.
Do the math yourself - 33% will go away in taxes. In any decent US city you will pay atleast $1500+ in monthly rent + utilities. Add some entertainment + dining out + car installments etc. and you won't be left with much by the end of the month. Plus when you get married and start setting up a home - furniture and other household stuff will cost quite a bit of money too for the first few years. On a single income (wife not working due to H4 restrictions) you won't be left with much.
On the other hand assuming both you and your wife will work in India - you both can save quite a bit - maybe even more than you alone can save in the US.

money_in_my_mind · Post by **money_in_my_mind** » Tue May 22, 2007 1:56 am

#1:
Don't fool yourself by convincing yourself that you will go back in few years. It's a vicious loop. Once you are in, you are in. Tough to get out. You will get into following (not necesarily in this order):
1. Find first job.
2. Get Married.
3. Get GC filed.
4. Save $$.
5. Have kids so that they get US Citizenship (USC).
6. Get stuck in GC process for a while.
7. Wait 5 years to be eligible for USC.
8. Family already grown and settled in US. Wife, might, resist going back to US.
9. Get frustrated with lack of career growth, especially when you learn your friends back home have grown quite a bit.
10. Look at your $ savings and feel you don't have enough to take it easy after r2i, haven't saved enough for kids college, retirement, etc. etc. etc.
10. You look at living conditions in India and wonder if you can readjust (see the Disappointments after r2i thread).

To summarize, if you are not too motivated to live in US after MS, take the first flight home as soon as you complete degree. Given the IT boom, geting a good job will not be a problem in India. However, if you convince yourself to stay on for *few* years, save the above list.

Good luck!

realentity · Post by **realentity** » Tue May 22, 2007 2:06 am

money_in_my_mind;25621#1:
1. Find first job.
2. Get Married.
3. Get GC filed.
4. Save $$.
5. Have kids so that they get US Citizenship (USC).
6. Get stuck in GC process for a while.
7. Wait 5 years to be eligible for USC.
8. Family already grown and settled in US. Wife, might, resist going back to US.
9. Get frustrated with lack of career growth, especially when you learn your friends back home have grown quite a bit.
10. You look at living conditions in India and wonder if you can readjust (see the Disappointments after r2i thread).
[/quote]

Between steps 1 & 6, if you are working for a desi consultancy, they will exploit you and force you mentally to join another company. If you work fulltime for a big company, you will get laid off at least once before step 6 and your job will get offshored. The GC application started by the first company stops and you re-start the GC process with the new company.

Desi_by_Nature · Post by **Desi_by_Nature** » Tue May 22, 2007 2:10 am

realentity;25623Between steps 1 & 6, if you are working for a desi consultancy, they will exploit you and force you mentally to join another company. If you work fulltime for a big company, you will get laid off at least once before step 6 and your job will get offshored. The GC application started by the first company stops and you re-start the GC process with the new company.[/quote]

c'mon guys lets not scare CoolDude.
CoolDude - if you wanna go back, now is the time. Once you're married and get into the swing of things here, it will become incrementally harder every year to R2I.

joyful_r · Post by **joyful_r** » Tue May 22, 2007 2:29 am

Fully agree with post# 9, after 15 years in US.

If you want to go back, please do so without even looking back. If you start looking back, the Saturn will catch you .... :) and you will be in the forum for a long time ... :confused: