Namesake

[dheeraj_handa]

After watching this movie(Namesake), I was having mixed opinions, traditionally first generation came to US with Indian values and culture for better lives, thinking of making big, with passing generation that values and culture started fading, thus leaving us to think life as a whole whether what is right and wrong,

Life comes full circle , a person who lives most of his life in US wishes to go back to India for spiritual fullfillment, or for some social cause, not everyone can fight lonliness in America, as shown in the movie the wife returns to India despite kids being in US, because kids were all grown and were just NAMESAKE kids by then.

Looking at the gist shown in the movie, what are everybody's feeling I wanted to know? of course still Indians in US are yet to become old(first generation which migrated largely in IT) so the repurcussions are wait and watch, but still one can take a educated guess ? Do children loose their purpose as they have everything in US in first place(car, home ,money, ) Do children live under a assumption that they would not be required to support their aging parents in US either physically or financially

IS this all AMERICAN dream NAMESAKE?

[nextgen]

I met this guy in his sixties on my last flight to India. He's been in US for 25+ yrs, kids grown up here who dont want to goto India but he still misses the place even after so long, and travels frequently (for lack of other optinons). I'm in early 30s and told him about r2i plan and he encouraged it strongly.

He is not the first senior guy I met, who is in such state. And I dont want to be in his shoes.

[r2i_100]

I met this guy in his sixties on my last flight to India. He's been in US for 25+ yrs, kids grown up here who dont want to goto India but he still misses the place even after so long, and travels frequently (for lack of other optinons). I'm in early 30s and told him about r2i plan and he encouraged it strongly.

He is not the first senior guy I met, who is in such state. And I dont want to be in his shoes.[/quote]

I met a similar guy in India while traveling by train last summer who "encouraged" me not to return, point is;
There is no heaven on earth, if you 'feel' you should return, don't look for excuses, just do it.... life in US/life in India come with different set of goods & bads, you need to choose one.. everyone has different circumstances, when I came to states 10 years back, coming to states was a no brainer decision, it looked right to me, now if I feel I should return I should just do it and not look for a reason else R2i will never happen.

[nextgen]

I agree, we should just do it. I mentioned coz I met many of those for whom its too late.

[pdev11]

There is no heaven on earth, if you 'feel' you should return, don't look for excuses, just do it.... [/quote]

AMEN to that. Just follow your heart.....everything else will fall into places ...eventually.

I agree, we should just do it. I mentioned coz I met many of those for whom its too late.[/quote]

But how do you determine "It is too late"? One rule of thumb is Your first kid should be about 5 years or would join I'st grade soon. Reason: I have seen a lot of R2I failures because of kids. It is either Health or School.

But on the other hand I heard about this Couple, 60+, who live in Detriot during Summer and HYD in Winter. Cool Ye :emwink:

[money_in_my_mind]

Namesake is a very good movie and covers the issues that immigrants face very well. Kids will turn out to be Americans regardless of parents' preferences. The independence, freedom to choose, etc. is bound to be deep-rooted in kids. Third generation doesn't even speak the language of the first gen immigrants. Basically, LIA ensures your future gens. will American. Nothing wrong with being American, if anything, it's great that they don't have to carry the burden of an alien culture. It's just that many desis live in denial and frequently cite desi population in US.

I know of this guy ~50 years old in NJ. He must have come here some 20 years ago. He now travels to India alone. Surprisingly I see him every time I go there. I didn't understand it earlier, but now I know what motivates him to make these trips. His wife and kids never go to India. I guess after certain age freeways, malls, downtowns, etc. lose their charm/glitter. I guess I'll know that first hand sometime in future :(

[dheeraj_handa]

Namesake is a very good movie and covers the issues that immigrants face very well. Kids will turn out to be Americans regardless of parents' preferences. The independence, freedom to choose, etc. is bound to be deep-rooted in kids. Third generation doesn't even speak the language of the first gen immigrants. Basically, LIA ensures your future gens. will American. Nothing wrong with being American, if anything, it's great that they don't have to carry the burden of an alien culture. It's just that many desis live in denial and frequently cite desi population in US.

I know of this guy ~50 years old in NJ. He must have come here some 20 years ago. He now travels to India alone. Surprisingly I see him every time I go there. I didn't understand it earlier, but now I know what motivates him to make these trips. His wife and kids never go to India. I guess after certain age freeways, malls, downtowns, etc. lose their charm/glitter. I guess I'll know that first hand sometime in future :(

I agree , after a while everything that you would have liked in US would not attact anymore, but that is human nature, I was reading one day Jackie Chan's interview, everyone knows he is philantropic and likes to help , but he had written one day he might get tired doing that, life needs a balance whether we are in India or here, I feel overall life is good in India if one can make good money, bring up kids nicely, take care of aging parents, do social work, look beyond money

[dheeraj_handa]

I know a person who wanted to go back to India as his roots were Indian, but his eldest kid is 12 whose roots are in USA, how does one deal with this mismatch, Father wanted to stay in India, Son in US as he had his friends, everything in US, for him India is foreign, Father landed up coming back to US for the sake of his Son,

The issue we are discussing is much more complex then anyone of us can even imagine, in first generation immigrants there are so many issues, they are neither American nor Indian completely.

Having two people living in same house and having different roots is not easy to manage

[Tweedledee]

Looking at the gist shown in the movie, what are everybody's feeling I wanted to know? of course still Indians in US are yet to become old(first generation which migrated largely in IT) so the repurcussions are wait and watch, but still one can take a educated guess ? Do children loose their purpose as they have everything in US in first place(car, home ,money, ) Do children live under a assumption that they would not be required to support their aging parents in US either physically or financially

IS this all AMERICAN dream NAMESAKE?[/quote]
Namesake uses a timeline from the early 70s to the early 90s. kids who grew up in this period would become american since there would be very few indian kids around them. that is not true now in the desi enclaves of the bay area and NJ. it may still be true in a mostly white community. That said, I find today's desi kids proud of their ethnicity and not at all confused. the fact that the headlines emanating out of india are now mostly good also helps.

Personally I believe india is westernizing fast, so other than a comfort factor and lavish IT lifestyle for the parents, there's no big net benefit to raising kids in india. at least in america they wont have to repeat the immigrant cycle over again, as they would if they r2a after r2i for higher education, for example.

[Kaamna]

I am not sure if you all experience this - but the biggest discouragement for my moving to India comes from my family in India (including my mother and my mother-in-law, two people who care dearly about our happiness).

But i don't understand it. I want to r2i because I still feel most at home in India, and that's enough reason for me. Yet, when i hear them so vehemently discouraging me, I wonder, am i missing something?

thoughts?