At crossroads - not happy with my career accomplishments.

bay12008 · Post by **bay12008** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:21 am

Hi,

I need some help. I'm frustrated with what I have done in my career so far. Looking from the outside, I've done ok. I have a good salary and have progressed decently up the ladder.

But, I'm unhappy with my job and my line of work. Its something that I am doing to pay the bills. I never thought much about such things before, but now I'm really questioning what I'm doing. I'm stressed out and its affecting my personal life.

How do I find out what it is I really want in life and start doing it? Am I just over reacting to something? Does anyone else feel this way?

thanks for any advice.

tejasvee · Post by **tejasvee** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:23 am

bay12008:

This forum has some very knowledgable people who can help you get inputs for making decisions. In order to attract their attention, provide more info.. something like:

[LIST=1]

Your current industry and domain

Experience in years

Years with the current job

Financial stability, something like how many months you can support your family if you need to take time of the current job

Education & Certifications

What's that you don't like in your current job? Would you be OK if you switch the company?

If you want to change the business domain, list a couple of industries that interest you. List job descriptions that interest you, if you have done the homework.[/LIST]
Important: Don't post any personal details that can be abused in a public forum. Use your judgement. The more details you can provide, the more specific the members here can help you out.

Lastly, getting frustrated when things don't go well in job is normal. But remaining frustrated for long time is not.

MadMax · Post by **MadMax** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:11 am

I think this is the story of most peoples lives(including mine and also a few of my friends at work). The teenage dreams and zeal of being different, pioneering etc. get quietly shelved and people move on with their lifes. Just have to accept it mentally. If you keep fretting about it, it will only get worse. I feel the trick is to not think too much about it. It can get depressing if not.

aryan · Post by **aryan** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:18 am

You are not alone. Most of the people do job even though they don't like it.There are very few who get paid for what they enjoy the most.
You can try following things to relieve depression -
1) Start doing Yoga, try kapalbhati and anulopvilop pranayam everyday. It helps to control your mind and relieves depression
2) Don't talk with people about money,careers etc. Talk with them about all other things like movies, kids, shopping, politics etc.
3) Play with kids. It's the best time you can spend without worrying about outside world.
4) Ask yourself what interests you the most and do those things like reading books on subjects you find most interesting, watch your favourite movies etc.

doesntMatter · Post by **doesntMatter** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:50 am

I was in your position for a real long time. i was on H1B and my gc was taking forever. it was like a blackhole and there was no certainity when i'll get it. i finally called it quits,came back to India and did some soul searching. even before i quit, i tried talking to therapist/career counsellors etc. they wud suggested that take the Myers Briggs Type indicator but I had a closed mind towards it. i did not like such tests and never took it. That was one big mistake.
then i got involved in a few things and withing a few months, got involved in some conflicts. some how at that time i began reading abt personality types and i cud see some of the reasons for the conflict and was able to see the other person in a different way. why this is important is i even got a clue of my own type and now i understand the reason for my frustration. i was literally a square peg in a round hole. i wasn't involved in a job that suited my personality. if i had know this earlier, i wudn't have spent so many years in turmoil.
now i spoke to a psychologist later abt this and came to understand that i was lucky but that isn't the way to go i.e., do not read the book bcos, one tends to distort the reality and answer the questions incorrectly. work with a counsellor in taking the test.
another thing i wud recommend is Johnson O'Connor Research Center. They have centers at many cities and if there is one close to you, go take the test. it is pricey but worth it. though i took the test long long time ago, i cud not see thru and 'get' their suggestion. but now looking back, they were exactly right. the reason i did not get it is i let my fears, assumptions get in the way. usually when such tests give u a reccommendation we may refuse to accept it due to our deep rooted doubts, fears, frameworks etc.
i hope this helps. instead of taking drastic steps like i did, u can first try a changing ur job to a different company. change of ppl and place can help. may be u r in a rut. the ppl u work with is very imp. the other thing u can do is take these two tests and work with a counsellor planning a transition from where u r to where u wanna be.
good luck with the change.

bay12008 · Post by **bay12008** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:06 am

Tejasvee - thanks. The other replies have helped (they are along the lines of what I was needing,) but, thanks all the same!

doesnt matter/aryan/madmax - ya, I need to take some steps to change my situation. I'll take some of your suggestions and put them into action. Sometimes, even I think that I think too much. I had heard about those tests - I'll find out more about them. I used to be a good sportsman - but even that has gone to hell.

thanks for the suggestions. it was comforting to read them.

submarine66 · Post by **submarine66** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:12 pm

bay12008;92431Tejasvee - thanks. The other replies have helped (they are along the lines of what I was needing,) but, thanks all the same!

doesnt matter/aryan/madmax - ya, I need to take some steps to change my situation. I'll take some of your suggestions and put them into action. Sometimes, even I think that I think too much. I had heard about those tests - I'll find out more about them. I used to be a good sportsman - but even that has gone to hell.

thanks for the suggestions. it was comforting to read them.

Since you say you are into sports, try sports as a stress reliever. Play a game of tennis with a friend or spouse, go for a swim at the local Y, or squash at the Y or just a brisk walk. I have found those and quiet times with my kids or a normal non-work conversation with my wife as great stress relievers. I lead a very hectic work life (15 hour days; on the phone; weekend time intruded on calls or work) and have found these small ways cool me down. Even reading/posting on R2IClub relieves stress ...

shapra · Post by **shapra** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:20 pm

If you work in a big company, you could make use of the HR driven training programs -- maybe about business accumen, leadership, teamwork, communication, negotiation etc. Some of the instructors are really good and can unlock your potential with simple word suggestions. Sometimes, your instructor happens to be an executive coach. Sometimes, your CEO shows up in the class. You get to interact with a group drawn from across the company. Some of these courses involve evals like the Myers-Briggs personality test. This gets you out of the rut, if say you are stuck in a programming job that you dont enjoy, but dont want to leave the company either.

Bottomline drawn from the movie "OfficeSpace": The character played by Jennifer Aniston says something like "Nobody really enjoys going to work. We just find something we can live with and do it with a smile".

MadMax · Post by **MadMax** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:30 pm

Maybe somebody already mentioned it, but changning jobs/teams even within the same company good be a good pick-me-up for a year or two. New ppl, new scenery, new challenges helps. I became a consultant from a FTE and that helped me.

If you have gym at work or closeby, try to workout during your lunch hour. Gives a break from the monotonous day and gives you something to look forward to when you go to work.

Also, try to supplement with St. Johns Wort for some mood alleviation. It has helped me.
http://www.sjwinfo.org/

mn_op · Post by **mn_op** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:58 pm

bay12008;92337Hi,

I need some help. I'm frustrated with what I have done in my career so far. Looking from the outside, I've done ok. I have a good salary and have progressed decently up the ladder.

But, I'm unhappy with my job and my line of work. Its something that I am doing to pay the bills. I never thought much about such things before, but now I'm really questioning what I'm doing. I'm stressed out and its affecting my personal life.

How do I find out what it is I really want in life and start doing it? Am I just over reacting to something? Does anyone else feel this way?

thanks for any advice.[/quote]

Take it a positive sign that the fire in you is still burning.
Changing career path is a difficult proposition and not many people can do it...moreover, new career path may not turn out as you expected.

What's the point in doing same thing over and over just to make living??? As one of forum members signature says "If you are making ends meet, you are not going anywhere".

Time for you to take a next big step...quitting the job and doing something else like becoming an enterprenuer.
Of course, don't jump into it but start planning. If you spend one hour daily (office time and not personal time :-) thinking about what you can do if you quit your job, you will find yourself in cheerier mood.