This message is fun-intended and not for serious folks. Please ignore if it hurts anyone. This is a true story based on one of recent incidents in my life. Fifteen years back, I completed my 12th grade in a typical conservative school in south India. I had excellent education as well as fun. Typical to any southern school in India, we boys are always together and girls were always together with no interaction. Obviously at that age, we go through infatuation and dream about girls. I for one got infatuated to a girl who was so beautiful and for some reason or other I use to like her. When my class teacher asked her a question, I use to glance her, smile within myself if she answers correctly and feel bad if she doesn’t answer it properly. On my part if my chemistry teacher asked me to write on a black board of different ways to convert methyl alcohol into ethyl alcohol, I will happily go to the board, write the different methods of the conversion and look at her of how she reacts. She will be immensely pleased, smile at me and I felt so happy. Similarly, on a physics laboratory, I use to test the concave focal length test where I use to focus the lens on her and view her face closely. Eyes talked to each other, Ears whispered between us, hearts were exchanged….all this chemistry happened without me talking to her and she talking to me. The school use to start at 9:00 AM and I will be in the class by 8:30 AM. She use to come at 8:45 AM and I use to watch her sitting in 3rd row. She use to smile at me watching me at her one eye (In Tamil we call Oorakannu) giving a few heartbeats at me. Life revolved so much with fun and in fact I studied very well just to impress her. I got 96% in 12th standard annual exam and I feel this is just a by-product and the main product is to satisfy and impress her. I completed my 12th grade, went to engineering college and slowly all the infatuations about her faded. My life revolved around college life, made new friends and completely forgot her. I didn’t have any similar infatuations about girls in my college but did have some basic attraction on some girls.
After 15 years, I went for a vacation trip to Mysore along with my family. When I was walking in Mysore Zoo, I looked upon a woman with 2 kids and her spouse. Initially, I couldn’t recognize but immediately I felt that her face resembles familiar. Within couple of minutes, I recognized she might be the same person whom I Infatuated 15 years back. With courage, I just went near her and asked her whether she studied in the school which I went, asked about our friends and she said ‘Yes’ to all my identification questions. Initially she didn’t recognize me but after giving lot of hints, she recognized me so much and she was very happy in speaking with me. We went on and on for nearly 30 minutes with both of our family together watching the whole incident. She took my address and I took her address where she is currently settled in Mysore. Right now, she is my good friend and there is absolutely NO emotion or NO ill-will/bad intentions on her except a bit of respect. I have informed my spouse about her even before my marriage and my spouse understands such things happenings in our life similar to the movie ‘AUTOGRAPH’.
Now, my question is: How come my brain recognizes her after 15 years? I am not a person who can remember past incidents well but in this case it is a rare exception. My mind immediately recognized her.
IS INFATUATION ALSO AS POWERFUL AS TRUE EMOTIONAL LOVE?? I don’t have any emotion now nor do I think about her in daily life as I have my wonderful wife and kids with me now. There is a parallel thread which focuses on ‘What is Mind’.
http://www.r2iclubforums.com/clubvb/showthread.php?t=4018
I feel very happy about the whole incident and thank god for giving a wonderful childhood and present life.
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
LoveIndia;93947Now, my question is: How come my brain recognizes her after 15 years? I am not a person who can remember past incidents well but in this case it is a rare exception. My mind immediately recognized her.
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I wasn?t infatuated or anything, but your post reminds me of an incident where I recognized my kindergarten classmate after 27 years. I introduced myself and asked her if her name was ?N? and she was totally surprised. We became good friends. Others thought it was incredible I identified my KG classmate. But to tell you the truth, I remembered her because she was the only one who had cat eyes, fair like snow white, and acted as the class bully.
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
I think our unconcious mind keeps a log of all thing it comes across. Especiall y those things which menat sooo much to you once upon a time.
No harm in keeping contact with her once in a while with some reason( Like you visited mysore again , feel free to go and see her family along with your family). But don't try to go too near to her. If you get emotional again might ruin your and her family's lives. You might think that you will just remain friend with her, but remember mind is darn good at tricking ppl.
With time you will realize. finally when it comes to women, no difference whether it's her or your wife or somebody else. They are all the same stuff:). Only the other side looks greener. AND MIND ALWAYS WANTS TO HAVE THINGS IT CANNOT HAVE! My personal experience.
GL,
No harm in keeping contact with her once in a while with some reason( Like you visited mysore again , feel free to go and see her family along with your family). But don't try to go too near to her. If you get emotional again might ruin your and her family's lives. You might think that you will just remain friend with her, but remember mind is darn good at tricking ppl.
With time you will realize. finally when it comes to women, no difference whether it's her or your wife or somebody else. They are all the same stuff:). Only the other side looks greener. AND MIND ALWAYS WANTS TO HAVE THINGS IT CANNOT HAVE! My personal experience.
GL,
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
In my opinion its "that age" (sweet 16-18) when you were infatuated with her...also probably she was the first one whom you were attracted to with such intensity and she too reciprocated. Our harmones play a great deal of role too, I assume.
I think most people remember such beautiful incidents.
I think most people remember such beautiful incidents.
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
soomdy;93951I think our unconcious mind keeps a log of all thing it comes across. Especiall y those things which menat sooo much to you once upon a time.
With time you will realize. finally when it comes to women, no difference whether it's her or your wife or somebody else. They are all the same stuff:). Only the other side looks greener. AND MIND ALWAYS WANTS TO HAVE THINGS IT CANNOT HAVE! My personal experience.
GL,[/quote]
What! are you trying to deflate our emotions by saying its no big deal! Do you know how difficult it is to remember people who were seen just yesterday, even though some of them were great looking blondes and had raindrops falling gently on their curved lips?
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
OP
I appreciate the fact you tried to find out if in fact it was your school crush that you saw! When my husband wanted to chat and find out if someone (newly married and moved to the area where we live, per college e-group news) was his college junior girl, I did not allow him to do so as I thought it might upset the girl if she did not recognize him as from the same college. Also, I was not sure how the girl's husband would take it if someone got introduced like that. If I were in the girl's shoes may be I would be upset too, I don't know!! So, the thumb rule I set for my husband is - if the girl recognizes you and initiates the conversation, go ahead else keep quiet. That way we can know if the girl is comfortable.
I appreciate the fact you tried to find out if in fact it was your school crush that you saw! When my husband wanted to chat and find out if someone (newly married and moved to the area where we live, per college e-group news) was his college junior girl, I did not allow him to do so as I thought it might upset the girl if she did not recognize him as from the same college. Also, I was not sure how the girl's husband would take it if someone got introduced like that. If I were in the girl's shoes may be I would be upset too, I don't know!! So, the thumb rule I set for my husband is - if the girl recognizes you and initiates the conversation, go ahead else keep quiet. That way we can know if the girl is comfortable.
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
There are instances of men hitting on women which might upset them. But I wonder why would the girl get upset in the case you mention above? If she has seen both of you, she will know that your husband is married and was inquiring with good intentions. Even if a bachelor approached her (with good intentions), she should feel good that someone found the urge to talk to her.
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
I guess I was not sure of how the girl might react and I did not want my husband to make her uncomfortable. I thought if she saw and recognized him, she would smile or initiate a conversation. My husband is in touch with a lot of friends (girls & boys) from his school and college and wouldnt really mind if she didnt recognize after chatting. But I was conservative for the girl's sake! kind of weird but thats what it was :-)
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
Purujit;93959What! are you trying to deflate our emotions by saying its no big deal! Do you know how difficult it is to remember people who were seen just yesterday, even though some of them were great looking blondes and had raindrops falling gently on their curved lips?[/quote]
Not sure about you. But if I desire some thing dearly, it is very difficult for that thing to escape my mind. It just depends on how strong desire one has about his/her object of desire.
Just few days back we had our school reunion. They had put a webcam. I could remember each one of them with names and even mentioned some funny incidents to almost every one as early as when we were in 1st grade. I could also remember names of all the 40 students that passed out our batch 25 years back. So, really not that big a deal for me:).
Is Infatuation as powerful as true emotional love:-)?
Just curious, do you also remember your past life? We can use you as a model for research :emsmilep: