R2IBLR09;102030Although I said in one of my previous posts, I would be gone happy, its not actually true. I would be happy with the savings and the couple of roofs over my head but...
I took a step back and tried to think what am I losing when I leave the shores of US. Its quiet an uneasy feeling
especially since America is kind of second home. A home where my dreams really flourished and helped my buy not 1 but a
couple of roofs over my head. A home where i actually started to believe in myself and achieve what I am today. Something
I would have never achieved back in india given my limited education background and the tough competition. A world where
I had the opportunity to travel a lot and do things I could have never done in india...
Looking back, it simply changed my life beyond anybody's expectation. As each day passes by and the trip back home
is getting nearer, deep inside me there is this sinking feeling that I will lose a big part of me....a part of america that I will never forget.
never forget. It is not a dilemma as to which one is better. I will be closer to my family members but what about all the friends
here who for the past 10 years became my family... the kind of people who
partied with me, opened their hearts, learnt my culture, did the land scaping of my home without even me asking...
the house where I put my heart and soul when building it and now seems to be a burden unfortunately...the trees
that I planted myself and are just beginning to bear fruits....None of my friends play cricket back in india now
but at the age of 38 I am still playing very serious and competitive cricket here ...Oh my god..i am in tears
It is a losing proposition either ways..its not a dilemma for me ...we all stand to lose something...r2i,r2a, lia ...whatever
the heck the decision is...its actually very depressing...very very depressing when you think about it...
...
but anyways we have to go on.... and reconcile to the facts of life..I guess
and PLAN, PLAN, PLAN
R2IBLR, I made point to read your posts.. your diary. Its the clarity I admire.... Its missing a bit in my thoughts now... You got so emotional here... So true that American helps you believe in yourself more, teaches you 'equality'. But why the "dead end" thoughts ? America still lives, you still live(may you live 100 of those min.!), the lessons you learned and experiences will always be with you...