R2I Dilemma - Kids future education

formuser99 · Post by **formuser99** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:51 am

Trying to make a R2I decision. LIA for 17 years. Kids are in 7 & 3 grades. Thinking r2i for being close to family and also feel if I dont do now I am not be able to do for another 10 years due to kids college. I definitely dont want to do when older kid in high school. Then the younger kid will be close to high school.

I got a very good offer and need to get back to them asap. I am leaning towards accepting it.

my dilemma is if I am doing the right things by the kids. are colleges better in usa than india. if we have to r2a for kids college then there ia no point in r2i. are they better going to college here. they will have lots of opportunities like ivy league colleges, pre-med etc. even a b-tier college in usa sems better than an average colllege in india. also many kids want to come here for higher studies, then I think why I am doing this backwards. not to forget,the rate race and cut throat competition in india. the college admission counseling process will start around 11th grade here.

I am torn here. any thoguhts?

MrLong · Post by **MrLong** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:10 am

Cut throat competitions in India for college admissions for most part is for the middle class. Moneyed kids/parents find admissions via capitation fees or send their kids abroad.

formuser99 · Post by **formuser99** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:30 am

I m already abroad :) so will it not be easier here.

MrLong · Post by **MrLong** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:35 am

I know. But, I understand that it is extremely competitive even in US. I know of instances where kids have 2250 + in SAT and still end up in Tier 2.

How do you compare the rigor and the slog the kidshave to go through between US and desh?

okonomi · Post by **okonomi** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:58 am

formuser99;418957Trying to make a R2I decision. LIA for 17 years. Kids are in 7 & 3 grades. Thinking r2i for being close to family and also feel if I dont do now I am not be able to do for another 10 years due to kids college. I definitely dont want to do when older kid in high school. Then the younger kid will be close to high school.

I got a very good offer and need to get back to them asap. I am leaning towards accepting it.

my dilemma is if I am doing the right things by the kids. are colleges better in usa than india. if we have to r2a for kids college then there ia no point in r2i. are they better going to college here. they will have lots of opportunities like ivy league colleges, pre-med etc. even a b-tier college in usa sems better than an average colllege in india. also many kids want to come here for higher studies, then I think why I am doing this backwards. not to forget,the rate race and cut throat competition in india. the college admission counseling process will start around 11th grade here.

I am torn here. any thoguhts?

Close to family versus Doing right by Kids is the dilemma
Reds are questions. Blues seem to be answers.
When you are torn, it is best to put a stitch in time to save nine later.
Can you answer whether C-to-F or DR-by-K is the winner ?
Read some diaries of people who have-or-had the same dilemma
link: http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php/16-R2I-Diaries
Good luck to you.

Chakraan · Post by **Chakraan** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:04 am

formuser99;418957Trying to make a R2I decision. LIA for 17 years. Kids are in 7 & 3 grades.

I think you are already late. Don't be kiddish when you have grown up kids.

Can you adjust India after 17 years ?

dbs · Post by **dbs** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:37 pm

Chakraan;418973I think you are already late. Don't be kiddish when you have grown up kids.

Can you adjust India after 17 years ?

How many years is the limit (to adjust India -sic)?

I r2Ied after 14 years and did not adjust. I did not even try to adjust.
As far as I am concerned, there was nothing to adjust.
I had grown up in India and there was nothing new that I had to be concerned about excepting the increased corruption.
______________________________________
Life's tough. It's even tougher if you are stupid.

VS007 · Post by **VS007** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:22 pm

dbs;419074How many years is the limit (to adjust India -sic)?

I r2Ied after 14 years and did not adjust. I did not even try to adjust.
As far as I am concerned, there was nothing to adjust.
I had grown up in India and there was nothing new that I had to be concerned about excepting the increased corruption.

DBS, Then the reverse question needs to be asked.
At what age did you go abroad and did you adjust there or longed for India from the get go. Not meant to be personal, but your post is applicable to OP, only if you had gone in earlier 20s as a bachelor as I have seen people in late 30s coming to US with their kids, and they never really adjust or understand the liberal society of US, and they will never never(sic) have any adjustment issues in India.

--

OP,
It depends whats your definition of good offer. If your elder kid is in 7th grade, the kid will have tough time in typical rote learning cbse system despite all the recent improvements, and you will have to admit in a true international school costing upwards of 2.5-3L/annum. Or if you have enough savings to send your kid to US for undergrad, then it really does not matter and you can happily live in R2I, else you would be constantly toiling with this kids education dilemma. (Sorry to be blunt)

Man · Post by **Man** » Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:06 am

formuser99;418957Trying to make a R2I decision. LIA for 17 years. Kids are in 7 & 3 grades. Thinking r2i for being close to family and also feel if I dont do now I am not be able to do for another 10 years due to kids college. I definitely dont want to do when older kid in high school. Then the younger kid will be close to high school.

I got a very good offer and need to get back to them asap. I am leaning towards accepting it.

my dilemma is if I am doing the right things by the kids. are colleges better in usa than india. if we have to r2a for kids college then there ia no point in r2i. are they better going to college here. they will have lots of opportunities like ivy league colleges, pre-med etc. even a b-tier college in usa sems better than an average colllege in india. also many kids want to come here for higher studies, then I think why I am doing this backwards. not to forget,the rate race and cut throat competition in india. the college admission counseling process will start around 11th grade here.

I am torn here. any thoguhts?

Dont worry about your kids. They are far more resilient and adjusting than we can ever hope to be. All they need is to be surrounded and showered by love which you and your family I am sure will find in abundance in desh. Ask yourself if you are a parent first or a Ivy League college recruiting agent? Harvard and Yale at best will be brief pitstops in what is going to be a long innings for your kids and by no means will be necessary nor sufficient to ensure their success in life, whatever you may want that term to mean. Ask yourself what Ivy League got you to where you are today? And what part of your current happiness quotient in life is determined by where you studied or even what professional choices you made?? Even if they do eventually tread back to the US giving them a good 7-8 years or more of a culturally comfortable upbringing close to an extended family will do them a world of good for the rest of their lives..best wishes

VS007 · Post by **VS007** » Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:17 am

If the whole goal in life is to become happy, then dalai lama would suggest you to become a budhist monk in bhutan and enjoy one of the highest GNH. :))