Do we over-analyze???

[dixit]

Do you think we over-analyze our R2I decisions? I was just trying to recall if I had done this much analysis when I was moving to US 12 years back. At that time, it was pretty much a straight decision, I have an I-20, I am getting funding, I am moving to US. Even though I was coming from a relatively small town to a completely strange country with no friends and very little family around. I had all those pre-conceived notions about US - violent rednecks, blacks and latinos, super expensive, hard to socialize etc etc but still coming here was an easy decision.

Fast forward 12 years, now when we think about going "back" to India why do we over-think? We are not going to a 'Strange land' or unfamiliar surroundings? We spent over 20 years there, suddenly why do we start thinking about stay dogs, dust, kaam waali bai, pollution?

It took me almost 3-4 months in US before I was comfortable enough to socialize with my classmates, go out for a drink and be comfortable in a mall or walmart doing shopping. I still remember the first time I was taking a domestic flight, I was actually nervous and was sweating talking to the gate agent (or for that matter my first time at a Subway where I had no idea that bread comes in 5 flavors and what is "for here or to go").
In India we all know how to deal with a police waala, kaam wali, electrician then why do we sweat about it? How come these things become so important in our R2I decisions?

No disrespect to anyone here but we (at least some of us) had middle class life in India, we lead a middle class life in US then why do we want to have an 'upper class life' when we go back? When I was in India, I always used to travel by train, studied in a good and decent Govt. School. My dad used to have an old Fiat and we all used to love it. Now, why do sweat about sending our kids to the 'International Schools' or International vacations from India?

If you were getting a great job opportunity (in terms of job satisfaction, not necessarily money though I understand in a way they are connected) in India, close to your friends and family but at a place where there are no International Schools. Money is not going to be that great that you can buy a AC villa and have International vacation every year. Are you still going to make your move?

I am not necessarily looking for an answer nor am I saying that people shouldn't think about these things. I am just trying to convince myself that by not bringing these parameters to my R2I plans, I am not doing any injustice to myself or my family. So pardon my post if I it offend you and just consider it a rant from someone who is not thinking through.

[kalki]

We over-analyze because we have so much more to lose now than we did 10-15 years. A well-settled life, good paying job, an ecosystem (as some one else put it in a different post). Contrast that to when we came here with no savings and a young spirit.

Middle-class life in US is very different from middle-class life in India. You can still enjoy most of what US has to offer in a middle-class salary. Not the same in India. There's a lot more that money can buy in India (in terms of quality of service, better goods, nicer maids,etc) than in the US.

Do you think we over-analyze our R2I decisions? I was just trying to recall if I had done this much analysis when I was moving to US 12 years back. At that time, it was pretty much a straight decision, I have an I-20, I am getting funding, I am moving to US. Even though I was coming from a relatively small town to a completely strange country with no friends and very little family around. I had all those pre-conceived notions about US - violent rednecks, blacks and latinos, super expensive, hard to socialize etc etc but still coming here was an easy decision.

Fast forward 12 years, now when we think about going "back" to India why do we over-think? We are not going to a 'Strange land' or unfamiliar surroundings? We spent over 20 years there, suddenly why do we start thinking about stay dogs, dust, kaam waali bai, pollution?

It took me almost 3-4 months in US before I was comfortable enough to socialize with my classmates, go out for a drink and be comfortable in a mall or walmart doing shopping. I still remember the first time I was taking a domestic flight, I was actually nervous and was sweating talking to the gate agent (or for that matter my first time at a Subway where I had no idea that bread comes in 5 flavors and what is "for here or to go").
In India we all know how to deal with a police waala, kaam wali, electrician then why do we sweat about it? How come these things become so important in our R2I decisions?

No disrespect to anyone here but we (at least some of us) had middle class life in India, we lead a middle class life in US then why do we want to have an 'upper class life' when we go back? When I was in India, I always used to travel by train, studied in a good and decent Govt. School. My dad used to have an old Fiat and we all used to love it. Now, why do sweat about sending our kids to the 'International Schools' or International vacations from India?

If you were getting a great job opportunity (in terms of job satisfaction, not necessarily money though I understand in a way they are connected) in India, close to your friends and family but at a place where there are no International Schools. Money is not going to be that great that you can buy a AC villa and have International vacation every year. Are you still going to make your move?

I am not necessarily looking for an answer nor am I saying that people shouldn't think about these things. I am just trying to convince myself that by not bringing these parameters to my R2I plans, I am not doing any injustice to myself or my family. So pardon my post if I it offend you and just consider it a rant from someone who is not thinking through.

[R2Ichallenger]

At that time internet usage was not so high, not many US return forums available. More information was available by word of mouth. May be if they had similar forums:p like this at time than people might would had some dilemma too.

I need to change the saying, Less information is dangerous to More information is scariest.:))

[roxstar]

As humans, we are programmed to raise the bar, progress and move forward. What was good for our parents and for us 15 years back is no good now that we have seen some $$, have established careers and families to take care of. Hence the analysis and I think it is perfectly reasonable to do that and even over-do that. Life in India is no walk in the park, it is a mix of benefits and compromises so better to analyze well rather than to plunge on the basis of what our parents had or what we had two decades back.

[mkngtrbl]

A lot of people do and some people don't. It is the one who over-analyze who post and talk about it the most because they are thinking about it.

Nothing wrong in either way. It is very much individual personality driven and your station in life (at times). Whatever an individual is most comfortable with.

[cmk786]

That is the way of life. When we came to US we had almost nothing in bank balance but now we have big $$s in our account and they have not just come. We had to do very hard work in an unknown land when we first came and kept ourselves away from our country, our dear ones, we sacrificed a lot. And now when we have earned enough wealth we can not just throw it away by blindly making some decisions. Before we R2I we have to look in to all the aspects and see what is best for us so that we can have a assured life to come.

[KirKS]

If you were getting a great job opportunity (in terms of job satisfaction, not necessarily money though I understand in a way they are connected) in India, close to your friends and family but at a place where there are no International Schools. Money is not going to be that great that you can buy a AC villa and have International vacation every year. Are you still going to make your move?

Dixit - But one thing is absolutely certain. When we moved, most of us were in early 20s, hardly anything to 'lose' in terms of employment/money in India, single, energetic & eager to see the 'first' world.
But when we decide to move back we have built comfort zones in US. Spouse, kids, schooling, employment, 100s or even 1000s of times net worth compared to our arrival net worth, comfort level to a certain level of infrastructure/lifestyle, better law & order and most importantly, lack of personal need for an uproot. In majority of the cases, it is the family bonds in India that pull us back, rather than other factors. So it is natural to ponder if it is 'worth' the uprooting. :confused:

The fear is more of 'losing' exponentially more by moving to India compared to what you had to 'lose' when you moved to the West. Some people would say parents, friends and India itself was a big cost when we moved to the west, but I disagree. If we valued them so much, we wouldn't have moved at all to the west in the first place. The lure of a career & moolah is what makes us move westwards.. the lure of lower cost of living that stretches our savings by 5 to 10 times more, combined with human relationships drives us back to India in most cases.

Do we need a solid plan & execution? Absolutely yes.

The trick then would be to define what's required analysis and what is over-analysis. It differs from person to person. It differs from situation to situation. Your over-analysis may be my necessary analysis. I had penned my thoughts earlier on the difference between planning, pondering and paranoia here.

http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/entry.php/288-R2I-Planning-Pondering-Paranoia-and-Checklists

Whatever we do, we shouldn't think of moving back to India as the Salmon's move back it's place of spawning (upstream) just to die.. some extreme R2I failure cases may paint that picture of futility of upstream swim for nostalgic reasons, but most people will settle down in a year or two quite comfortably.. After all we were and are Indians and we can very well belong to India! Census counting for 2011 has started now. What's a family of 2/4 in an ocean of 1.2 billion? :wink

[soomdy]

When I left India, I knew only India. I had not seen any other country so there was no comparison.
After spending about 14 years in US, no matter what I do, there is a comparison going on in my background mind. If I am doing something in US, how I would do this in India? And if I am doing something in India, how I would do this in US?
Don?t care much about myself but so much analysis for the love of my family. What will be in the best interest of my family?

[soomdy]

>>>the lure of lower cost of living that stretches our savings by 5 to 10 times more,

Lower cost of living in India? I feel mumbai is more expensive than US today.
In central mumbai a 500 sq ft flat in a 40 year old bldg costs like 1.50 Cr Rs. This is more costly than m SFH in US.
If you go to any mall, most of the product pricings will be at par with US.
Inflation they say is 10 %, but I believe it is much more than that.
Every few years prices of whatever items you buy there almost double.
And to tackle this inflation they raise the interest rate by just a qrtr point. What a joke.
May be some 10 years back, a middle class family would spend less than 10 k Rs in monthly household expenses.
Today they need something like 75 k Rs as monthly expenses.
And I wonder in another 10 years where would this figure go?

[pazham]

>>>the lure of lower cost of living that stretches our savings by 5 to 10 times more,
Low cost of living in India. You are in for a shock. In some ways India is expensive than US.