Carpooling regularly with colleague of opposite gender

[M V]

Asking a colleague of the opposite gender for a ride to work one day or from work to car dealership if car is under repair is one thing. What about carpooling more regularly with a colleague of the opposite gender? Like every day, or once or twice a week regularly?

This interesting topic came up in conversation with some friends (mostly female), and their reactions were mixed and ranged from:

- What is the problem in such carpooling?
- OK, if the person of opposite gender is not a desi. : )
- No. I wouldn't like it.
- It is OK if there are more than two persons carpooling : )
- My spouse should know my response without it needing to be spelled out.

Thoughts on the intriguing topic welcome. Not necessarily your personal preference about the issue, but also what you would prescribe to the general public on the said topic : )

[vizagdesi]

What is wrong with it? The next topic would be working for/with a team of the opposite gender.

[M V]

What is wrong with it? The next topic would be working for/with a team of the opposite gender.

That is what I thought too... then, a friend laid out the gory (?) details - 30 or 45 min in a car, listening to NPR, to each other, commenting on the stories of the day, checking with each other before changing to soft rock radio station, then getting stuck in traffic jam, checking with colleague before lowering car window. Taking call from preschool teacher or making nasty call to school secretary in earshot of carpooling colleague... Then, taking call from spouse - hanging up. See, after hanging up, it is natural and almost expected to give a brief report of call... or make a comment about it, like "She was calling to remind me that Sona Masuri rice is now available at Costco". : )

Well, all this could perhaps happen in a "kosher" manner, under the watchful eyes of Ganesha or Nataraja statue velcroed to the dashboard... but, it still lends an air of intimacy (?) and that too on a regular basis.. So, the question is not such a no-brainer as might appear at the outset...

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Kids in backseats cause accidents; Accidents in backseats cause kids.

[returning_indian]

And why car pool again?

[M V]

Continuing from #2 above:

Then, commenting on each other's driving. Gently and not so gently entreating the driver to watch out and drive slowly. Looking out for cop cars. Cribbing about carpool cheaters. Discussing Vonage call quality, and what all Amma said in call this morning... or even worse, calling Amma and cribbing about DH.

Aiyo, I won't even go into hands reaching for the gear stick at the same time, as more people are moving to automatic.

What else? Driver asking colleague to open glove compartment and hand some paper or sun glasses or other things. Bindi packet or comb falling out of overstuffed glove compartment. Colleague unable to find object, so driver giving detailed verbal instructions, and unwittingly implying that spouse is unorganized kind.

What else? Plans for next weekend, and spring break are inevitably discussed.

[ana]

based on the detailed description, I wudn't want to have carpool with anyone neither wud like my spouse to do it.
My spouse prefers to listen to audio tapes, talking on phone ( thanks to bluetooth in car ). Its very hard to have someone in yr car on a regular basis.

for me, I choose my own hours. Sometime late, sometime early, so can not be tied to anyone schedule.

I think this is called privacy in US. :-)

[M V]

based on the detailed description, I wudn't want to have carpool with anyone neither wud like my spouse to do it.
My spouse prefers to listen to audio tapes, talking on phone ( thanks to bluetooth in car ). Its very hard to have someone in yr car on a regular basis.

for me, I choose my own hours. Sometime late, sometime early, so can not be tied to anyone schedule.

I think this is called privacy in US. :-)

Yeah, I can relate, though I don't commute to my place of work. You know.. the mind boggles, all those new cars with so many fancy settings, temperature control, so many switches and menu options in the control panel.. just my spouse and someone discussing what temperature is comfortable for car, for car seat, and if to allow outside air in or not.. gives me the heebie-jeebies : )

[rajubiztech]

What is wrong with it? The next topic would be working for/with a team of the opposite gender.

Looks like we got lot of time on hands, but running out of topics

[desi_mom]

I carpooled with a guy for an year few years back. It was a long drive of about one hour and I was still not very comfortable with driving at that time so hubby was glad I got company. We talked about everything under the sun and got into discussions but that was it.

I don't agree with the intimacy part. You can spend days together with someone and not get any feelings
and you could fall for someone in just 5 min. I am sure everyone has few colleagues who have similar interests and you kind of talk to them more than others. Sometimes even invite home or introduce to your spouse. It doesn't mean you are falling for them but just happy to meet someone who shares similar interests.

Now I don't even like to carpool with hubby. Somehow enjoy the quiet ride and also the flexibility of coming and going when I want.

Added later: MV - sometimes you confuse me with your thought process. Once you are arguing why girls(teens included) should not abstain from sex and next time I see you arguing why mature men/women cannot share a confined space for an hour.:-))

[M V]

Added later: MV - sometimes you confuse me with your thought process. Once you are arguing why girls(teens included) should not abstain from sex and next time I see you arguing why mature men/women cannot share a confined space for an hour.:-))

It is but simble...Ma'am. I am married to my spouse and mother of my daughter. : )