Brother is saying don\'t come

[Tanker2_84]

Another dilemma..
After my brother came to know that we are serious about r2i, he keeps saying don't come. We are a close family, grew up without parents. His reasons, kids getting sick often, traffic mess and obama's opposision to outsourcing will create less opportunities.
I won't change my mind because of this but it did create a bit of dilemma in my mind.

[My Roots]

No offense, but do you help your brother financially?

If so, stop it for a while and then check what he says about it.

People back in India look at relatives living abroad as bankers who fund money for all their needs and hence oppose the idea of return.
If your brother is genuinely considered about traffic, kids health then ignore my post and sit back and think what you want to do. Decision to go back should be yours and truly yours and not driven from what others say.

[LoveIndia]

Good solution My Roots. However the last sentence should read as "Not driven from what others say" - Am I right?

[Tanker2_84]

I agree with financial help perspective.. had a bitter exp with another relative.
But I don't help my brother financially they are well off ....
At times he says just come what are you doing there and at times he says cannot see kids getting sick often US is much better.
2 of his colleague kids died with suspected h1n1.

Does area where we live matter in terms getting sick? Monsoon is season is the worst but other months should be good in b'lore.

[mn_op]

I agree with financial help perspective.. had a bitter exp with another relative.
But I don't help my brother financially they are well off ....At times he says just come what are you doing there and at times he says cannot see kids getting sick often US is much better.

Thanks for the quick clarification.

Most of us would readily agree that US is a far better option as far as kids' health is concerned. Kids do fall sick more often in India due to pollution and sheer number of bacterias.

However, this shouldn't stop you from going back. Every kid is different and every parent has access to different medical services.
You should definietly R2I and check it out yourself. It is entirely possible that your kids will loev it there.

Assume that youu kid will be sick for 10-15 days per year until they turn 10. If you can handle that and pay good attention to kids' health, you should be fine.

[farfromhome]

OP:

Looks like your brother has your best interest in mind.

My brother/SIL had always suggested us to stay back in US(they r2i'ed in 2007) as it would be difficult for us to manage our kid in India (bcoz. of his allergies). They know the ground realities of both the countries and I value their advice.

Now the time has come for us to r2i and we will be r2i'ing in October (both my brother and SIL are supportive of this decision now as they know the reasons for our r2i) .

As MR said it should be your decision.

[Sid]

R2I for yourselves. But don't force self to LIA for kids sake. May make you a bitter old man in future.

[gwldaddu]

Sometimes close relatives ask us to stay back for the reason of "log kya kahenge"!! (Worried about people talking about the reasons for our return!!)

[MrLong]

Close Relatives/Brothers truly do not appreciate your reasons for the move. Only you, who have experienced it first hand can relate.

How do you explain someone the feeling of belongingness, your nostalgia, your feelings etc? Folks who have lived abroad for extended period of time can relate to that.

If you explain the above, People in India will call you paagal....

[gwldaddu]

If you explain the above, People in India will call you paagal....

Some people here in USA have called me paagal after hearing my R2I plans...