Platonic relationship 101 : )

anwesha · Post by **anwesha** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:28 am

Sai_R2I;297060Here is my first attempt at blogging:
'Til death do us apart

Wish me luck..

Short and sweet. Not sure if you planning to expand on that topic. Would be nice to hear how you were able to achieve that. Blame it on coincidence, I was wondering about this topic not too long ago and concluded that no friendship can exist between two people of opp gender. I was planning on posting in one of ?deep thoughts? thread, but couldn't quiet word/phrase my thoughts in a proper manner.

IMHO, While you can have self-control, how could you control another person?s feelings. People can get carried away and you never know when it happens. Everyone?s mileage varies when it comes to conscience, but things get delicate and dicey for women in particular?. Just IMHO : ) I hope I am wrong.

I am curious to see others response on this subject

rabtag · Post by **rabtag** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:52 am

anwesha;297081
IMHO, While you can have self-control, how could you control another person’s feelings. People can get carried away and you never know when it happens. Everyone’s mileage varies when it comes to conscience, but things get delicate and dicey for women in particular…. Just IMHO : ) I hope I am wrong.

I am curious to see others response on this subject

IMHO such relationships can exist and yes some men are capable of platonic friendships. Sustenance of such relationships after marriage (especially in the initial days , more so if it is an arranged marriage) when spouses come into picture is altogether a different issue.

Sai_R2I · Post by **Sai_R2I** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:58 am

anwesha;297081Short and sweet. Not sure if you planning to expand on that topic. Would be nice to hear how you were able to achieve that. Blame it on coincidence, I was wondering about this topic not too long ago and concluded that no friendship can exist between two people of opp gender. I was planning on posting in one of ?deep thoughts? thread, but couldn't quiet word/phrase my thoughts in a proper manner.

IMHO, While you can have self-control, how could you control another person?s feelings. People can get carried away and you never know when it happens. Everyone?s mileage varies when it comes to conscience, but things get delicate and dicey for women in particular?. Just IMHO : ) I hope I am wrong.

I am curious to see others response on this subject

Thanks, I have posted about how it all started..

I don't know what to say about your question... All my life, most of my friends have been guys.. While doing my BE, I had 30-40 friends and only 3 of them were girls. I don't know why but I was always comfortable with guys than gals.

anwesha · Post by **anwesha** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 2:09 am

rabtag;297086IMHO such relationships can exist and yes some men are capable of platonic friendships. Sustenance of such relationships after marriage (especially in the initial days , more so if it is an arranged marriage) when spouses come into picture is altogether a different issue.

Exactly, should/can it be sustained after marriage? Why or why not?

Sorry none of the resposes come close to my views. Someone pls agree with me, so that I can logout and live peacfully :-)

RRS · Post by **RRS** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 2:41 am

rabtag;297086IMHO such relationships can exist and yes some men are capable of platonic friendships. Sustenance of such relationships after marriage (especially in the initial days , more so if it is an arranged marriage) when spouses come into picture is altogether a different issue.

Why such stereotype on women? Is it because of 'jealousy thy name is woman' proverb : ) ?

Added later: Saw that Sai_R2I started a new blog thread. All future such discussions should go to that thread IMO.

RRS · Post by **RRS** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 2:59 am

I think platonic relationships are possible but after certain age and maturity level are attained. But sustaining a friendship is more difficult than having one and this applies to both genders.

I am interested in seeing whether rabtag expands here more on Woman's jealousy playing role in continuing platonic relationships for men : ) (to continue from chat corner)

Sarkar07 · Post by **Sarkar07** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 7:16 am

RaReSha3;297110Why such stereotype on women? Is it because of 'jealousy thy name is woman' proverb : ) ?

I re-read Rabtag's response. Did he say that ONLY men face problems in maintaining a platonic relationship after marriage and women don't (especially in an arranged marriage, like he added)? What made you think that he was stereotyping women? If you had asked him "Do you think women can maintain platonic relationships after marriage, especially in an arranged marriage?", his answer would have been probably similar to the question where "women" was replaced by "men" (trying to guess someone else's thought process is fraught with danger, so please don't slam me if rabtag disagrees :p ). You probably know my answer. :)

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BTW, this post reminded me of a quote that a professor used often when I was in school: He used to say "If I tell someone that the color is not black, the first instinct of the person is to assume that the color is white. The color can be red, yellow, green or anything else." :) It is an interesting thought and I try to keep it in mind when I am required to guess the motives behind a person's actions or words or analyze his/her action.

rabtag · Post by **rabtag** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:09 am

RaReSha3;297110Why such stereotype on women? Is it because of 'jealousy thy name is woman' proverb : ) ?

Added later: Saw that Sai_R2I started a new blog thread. All future such discussions should go to that thread IMO.

RRS,

On the contrary I was trying to say that men are capable of platonic relationships to break the stereo types on men (that we are not all beastly animals all the time). I was refering to spouse not wife :) . Back when I was growing up, once a girl gets married, you don't go to her home alone at her in-laws place or in her nuclear home, you either go with other friends, or with your sister or mother.

Don't ask me why or the rationale or if it was right or wrong, it was just the way it was (atleast the way I saw it).

rimjhim · Post by **rimjhim** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:08 am

I think to maintain platonic relationship after marriage mainly depends upon the understanding and maturity level of the spouse. Where the marriage is steady and strong, such friendships do not pose any threats.

I feel with the invent of social networking sites like Orkut/face book/etc, it is getting little more easy to maintain the friendship.

sumachechi · Post by **sumachechi** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:50 am

Platonic friendships are possible and indeed do myself have several 'lad' friends acquired during school/uni days with whom the warmth remains forever.
However, during many of these friendships, 'sparks may fly' briefly ,perhaps not much is done about it and the individuals themselves decide to ignore the sparks and keep the friendship bond going for want of not risk losing it. Often part of the bond is helping the other through a 'crush'!!!